small penis?

Question

ive just met a wonderful black guy, we are really into eachother ...but unfortunately that myth once you go black you never go back has been shattered. i do grenuinely like him but the sex is horrendous its made worse because he tries so hard but you cant really work with something thats only 4 inches!and he is very tall and looks pretty hot in general what can i do?

by the way i think i should mention i am also black i have gone yellow (in response to someones answer and it was the biggest ive ever come across about 9 inch) and i truly like the guy and the size of his penis really came as a shock i certainly didnt have unrealistic expectations but these things happen,

Answer 1

Some people accuse you of looking for a black guy because of the myth? Man, are those people stupid or what? You are black, it’s only natural for you to want to be with someone of your own race. If you were white or Asian, then may be, but only may be, I would believe it. These people need to get a life!

Please don't listen to anyone who tells you to leave. Think about it, are you going to run away from every challenge in your life? I know that it's easier to throw in the towel and run than to take the bull by the horns and deal with the problem. We live in a disposable society, in which if something doesn't work, throw it away and get a new one. Everything is disposable now days & that mentally has taken a hold on the way we deal with relationships. If he/she is “not good“, what the hell, let him/her go & get a new one. That shows you the poor mentality of those giving that advice.

May be some people have been watching to much TV, movies, porn, or listening too much to other people. You need to use common sense and separate what society thinks is normal or real and what reality really is real. Quite often there’s a big difference. Quite often we put unrealistic expectation on ourselves and others around us to meet our unrealistic expectations.

All of us have heard someone (specially women) saying that they are waiting for the perfect guy/girl, the guy/girl that will make her/him happy. The truth is that there’s no such thing as the perfect guy or girl. No matter how close that person is to perfect, there will always be things that we won’t like about them. And there’s not such thing as a person who’s going to come into your life and make you happy. If you’re an unhappy person, you are going to stay an unhappy person regardless of who comes into your life. He/she may temporarily make you happy, but on the long run, your unhappiness with yourself will surface & hurt your relationship.

The truth of the matter is that only YOU can make yourself happy. That is not only true when it comes to the emotional side of the relationship, but also on the physical (sexual) side of it. We need to take responsibility of our own emotional and SEXUAL happiness & stop putting those responsibilities on someone else. I think that people pass those responsibilities to the other person because it’s easier to point our finger at someone else, rather than to ourselves. Which helps us not look and feel like losers. Haven’t you heard people talk about theirs ex’s & why the relationship ended ? Isn’t it funny how it’s always the other person’s fault? How often to you hear people blaming themselves? Not too often!

Now, do yourself a favor & think really hard about what I’m about to say…YOU DO NOT NEED A PENIS TO SATISFY WOMEN!!! If a penis is so indispensable when it comes to pleasing women, how is it that lesbians, who don‘t even have penises, can satisfy other women? I've talked to a lot of girls who swear that a skilled lesbian can satisfy them in ways that most guys, even with big penises, can only dream of. Oh & please, put aside the misconception that lesbians always use dildos & vibrators. Which is not true at all. I know some lesbians & bi females that have never owned nor used one. That's something that women do in porn movies because those movies are targeting men. I’m not saying that some don’t use them, but ask any lesbian that use them and they’ll tell you that they can live without them.

I think that everyone puts too much emphasis on size. Adding to the pressure that men already have to perform in bed so that he’ll be perceived as manly men. Men don’t want to be perceived as less manly than others and less capable of pleasing women. In a similar way that women don‘t want to be perceived as been less pleasurable than others. But in the case of women, it’s the opposite than men‘s. Small vaginas are better than large ones. The smaller & tighter a girl is, the better & more pleasurable she is! To some people and cultures, a tight vagina represents youthfulness, while a loose one represents old age and/or too much “use.” May be you’re the one with the problem, haven’t you stopped to think about that?

Just like men don’t like to amid that we have small ones, women don’t like to amid that they have large & loose ones. Have you ever heard a girl bragging about being big & loose? Which I find ironic, because women keep telling us that we shouldn’t worry so much about our size & yet, women are very sensitive about how pleasurable they feel to men. Tell a girl that she feels really loose & watch her reaction. Trust me, is not one of joy!

The reason they don’t understand us is because they are not made as much fun of & society does not put so much pressure on them to perform in bed as it does on men. For the most part, all a girl needs to do is to lay there & let the guy do all the work. If a girl feels loose, then she blames it on his "small" penis. I have a friend that has a 7 ½” penis (according to him & one of his exgirlfriends). Interestedly enough, one day he told me that his new girlfriend felt loose. When they broke up, she told people that he had a small penis. I guess 7 1/2" wasn't enough for her. It’s always the fault of the guy, isn't it? Go figure!

Stop worrying so much about his size & worry about educating yourself & your boyfriend in what it takes to really please women. Read books, magazines, ask your doctor, seek the help of a sex therapist, explore each other’s bodies, etc.

I used to have a 7” penis, after a surgery to remove some fibrous tissue that had built due to injury, I end up with a 4 ½” penis. At first I wasn’t too happy about, like most guy would too. But after a few months after my surgery, I’ve come to realized that it was a blessing in disguise. In fact, I never really wanted to have the size that I now have, but if I was given the choice of going back to my old size, I probably would. But ONLY as long as I was able to keep the knowledge that I’ve gained. If I were to lose that knowledge in the process of going back to my original size, I wouldn’t want to go back. NO WAY!

My new size has made me rethink about the way that I used to try to please women. I used to think that I was a great lover. Now I know that I never was. At least not to the extend that I could had been. I was pretty selfish like most guys.

I’ve spent a lot of time after my surgery listening to women talk about sex. Asking them questions about what they really want in bed & so on. After talking to a lot of them, including lesbians & bisexuals (I live close to West Hollywood, which in case you don‘t know, it‘s a gay community), I now have a better understanding of what women really want in bed. .

I compare sex with a nice romantic dinner. Our penis, regardless of size, is NOT the main dish on the table. Kissing, hugging, caressing…in other words, lot’s of affection is the appetizer. A full body massage with soft kisses all over her body is a great appetizer. Then comes the main dish, which is a combination of masturbation and oral sex (on her). Once she’s had enough (once she‘s pleased), then your penis becomes the dessert (and the main dish for us guys). Then comes the toppings (whip cream, nuts, etc.) on the desert. The toppings are the kisses, the holding and caressing that comes after sex while laying in bed together.

Unfortunately, most guys, specially “big” guys think that a couple of minutes of kissing, masturbation and/or oral sex is the appetizer, & their penis is the main dish & the dissert all rapped into one. Some guys think that the appetizer is the girl going down on them & not the other way around.

Take some responsibility for your own pleasure & spend some time to teach your boyfriend how you like your food cooked & served. The only way to achieve that is through communication. Put yourself in his shoes. If you felt loose & big to him, would prefer for him to share his feelings with you or would you prefer him to dump you for someone “tighter“? By him communicating with you, it gives you both an opportunity to look for answers together. Like consulting a doctor, doing pelvic floor exercises (such as quick vaginal contractions, contractions & holds, vaginal weights, etc.). Together, you may find solutions, other wise, all you are doing is running away from your own responsibility.

I’ll leave you with the following interesting fact. According to surveys (on penis size & the female orgasm) VERY FEW women ever achieve orgasms from penetration alone, & get this.. REGARLESS OF THE SIZE OF THE PENIS!!! Think about it woman!

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Wow...

Wow...

Okay now to your advice. I'm sure that if this one thing was fixed there would be rainbows and everything and the birds would sing, right?

No. There are OTHER things too. I know it. The tries so hard says it all. I'm guessing you don't feel a gut-level attraction for him, regardless of the sex. He probably couldn't even turn you on with foreplay, nevermind the actual thing.

He doesn't understand that believing you are a mack and building ANTICIPATION and making her wait is more important than instant gratification. He doesn't know that he can literally get you BEGGING for him if he just leaned back and pulled away once in a while. He doesn't know that you feel more when what you want is barely too far versus when you actually get it. He obviously does not have much experience and it is probably due to the fact that he probably knows his "problem".

The size really doesn't matter as much as the rest of the equation. You know it. You just want to blame it on something really easy because you probably really do LIKE this guy. But you know what you have to do. You just CAN'T get satisfied in a relationship like this. It's all up to you.

Franklin

Answer 4

It's really sad that a woman would feel the need to judge a man by the size of his penis. And men are just as bad about judging women because of the size of their breasts. But that's the way it is. But you know what fishermen say...it's not the length of the pole, it's how you wiggle the worm. So perhaps you two just need to practice your casting...you may find out he's a 'keeper' after all. However, you need to decide whether you are interested in him as a person, or for what he can 'do' for you.

Answer 5

Dude, the guy I am crazy about is a little on the smaller side and he totally rocked my world! No need to be self conscious. In fact, I was with a guy who was quite a bit bigger before him, and I actually disliked having sex with him sometimes because he wasn't a caring lover all the time. a) women want communication in bed -- pay attention to her words and body language. If she is moving a certain way...go with it. Don't just plug away like she's not there and don't move her back into the position you were in if she shifts away -- chances are she moved because it was uncomfortable or else something else felt really good! b) sex is tied into women's emotions. it's not cut and dry science. If she's feeling you, she'll dig what you've got going. Sex is sloppy, awkward, funny, etc half the time ... being with a partner you feel comfortable with makes if fun to work through, even when its not perfect! Don't fret ... you've got plenty to offer!

Answer 6

If you really like/love the guy, then his size shouldn't matter. There is more to the act of love making than the size of his package. It's the experience you have of being with the one you like/love. Just relax and experiment and have fun. Maybe get some toys or even a book with different sex positions. Just don't point out the fact that sex with him is horrendous because that will just make things worse. This is something that will need to be handled delicately. Hopefuly in time things will get better, you both will just need to learn what the other likes and what works. You both will find it eventually. Good things come to those who wait. Good luck!

Answer 7

You'll just have to accept the fact that the sex might suck, but when you think about it... sex eventually goes "down" in a relationship later on anyways, so your emotional connection and communication, friendship will end up being more important down the road, but maybe he's good at oral?

This question did make me laugh though 'cause I'm in a similar situation, except he's black and I'm white (I've been with him a year). The biggest guys I've ever been with were white, but my bf is nice, intelligent, and makes me laugh. The sex just sucks. If the sex isn't that important to you, then see where the relationship leads, but if it is really important, then just be friends with him and look elsewhere for a relationship.

Answer 8

i just hope you have huge boobs
If the man could have a big penis he would
If all your lookin for is big penis then you need to look at
you own fawls and inperfections that you cant change.
Poor guy, dump him so he can find a decent girl

Answer 9

You sound stupid. Did you get with a black man due to that myth?? Unfortunately most non-black women do, I truly feel sorry for our black men, who are being sought after due to the size of their penis, and due to the fact that they are thought to be better in bed. When will our men ever learn?? Good Luck.

Answer 10

I would say u need to be honest with him. Tell him that the sex just isn't great, &yall gona need to work on that because it sounds like u do really like him besides the fact of his penis size.

Answer 11

if he so wonderful. then why does it really matter. it sound like
you were looking at the fact that he a black man, and that wrong
if you lilke him then let him know how you feel. and see what
both of you can do to make it work if he that you want to be
with or is that black. myth. trust me myth of any kinds or
not all that.