Should i keep this baby?

Question

I just started dating my boyfriend and I found out I am pregnant (12 weeks!) At times I am excited and at time I am totally freaked out... i am having a hard time with my family cause they are soo mad we are not married. I like my boyfriend ALOT i am just not sure I am IN love with him (cause we have only been together for 2 months). I just graduated college andI had all these plans to go to grad school in the UK. Well it seems that now my plans are to move with a man that I am "in like" to another state. He is very mature and ready to have this baby. I love how he has readily changed his life for his child... why am I soo freaked out still?! Please no "you shouldn't have openned your legs comments" that is besides the point.

sorry... about 2 months... and i will be starting the 12th week (of gestation time) this monday. Sorry

Answer 1

You can't win if you don't play the game.
Take some time off from your dream life...
Mommy..Take a trip to another state..
You will never know what might have
been unless you give it a try. It's just a
year to find out if you can go from like
to love, with your child's Daddy. That's
not so much to ask for your baby.
Keep in mind ..It's his baby too!!
Should I keep this baby??What is it??
A tee-shirt you got on sale?? It's a baby!!
Life is not erasable!!!!!Think about
this one long and hard..There is no easy answer.

Answer 2

I think that you're mostly freaking out because it's the beginning of your pregnancy and it's your first, and it's making you think of ways that your life will change. My advice...Calm down a little bit honey. Breathe. You've got a good guy there, he's willing to change things in his life to make room for you and this baby. He isn't running away like a lot of the other guys out there. I would suggest keeping the baby. If you still feel that you don't want it when it comes time to have the baby then you can always give it up for adoption...Though...I'm sure that by the time you get to that point you won't want to. You'll be far too attached. Take some time to talk to your boyfriend, and your family. It doesn't matter if you're not married. You're an adult, and a college graduate. You've got more going for you right there than the girls who are 16, living with their parents and dropping out of highschool. You can always go to grad school here, OR later.

Answer 3

First of all I want to thank you for not running to an abortion clinic. Many people who "have plans" that don't include children automatically just decide thats the best alternative.

2. Don't marry that man just because you got pregnant. Thats no reason to pledge your life to someone you "like".

3. If he's willing to alter his whole life for this child don't you think that he should have a say in this. Law says men don't have a choice. But when I miscarried(at 17) my then bf was devastated. That was as much his child as it was mine. How does your guy feel about the options you have.

4. If you do NOT want to keep this baby but you chose to continue his/her life look for a couple to adopt the baby. Many couple will be thrilled at the chance and eternally grateful for your selfless act of putting your baby's needs before your own.

Good Luck, and God Bless You and Your Little One

Answer 4

I'm sorry to read your boyfriend is supportive of you working.

Think about - can a person be a good doctor if they don't come to the office and see patients? Can a gardener be a good gardener if she never steps foot in the garden?

A woman cannot be a good mom if she isn't with her child. She can be a good household manager, a good chooser of someone else to raise her child, but she is not a mother, because she's not there.

That offends people to hear, but not only does 50 years of research show that human infants, being primates, need what all primates need, which is years and years of uninterrupted care from their mothers.

Human infants only form connections in their brain cells when they are held. Children are not held in day care. They are left to cry, which floods their brains with cortisol, causing anxiety and depression, and impairing learning.

To imagine working when you have an infant is a truly despicable, self-centered act which involves utterly destroying the mental health of a young creature wholly dependent upon you for his sense of well being. All day long while your child is in day care, he will long for you. Not getting you, he will realize he is not important to you (not important enough to be around him, right?) and that his happiness is not important to you.

It's a very lousy thing to do to a child. No wonder your family is mad.

Answer 5

I would recommend that you keep this baby only if you are willing to give the baby what he/she needs:

a two parent family committed to stick together until at least the child is grown

a mom who is willing to stay home (or go out and about) with her child - more than ten hours a week separation from mommy is devastating to an infant/toddler intellectually, socially, emotionally, and physically.

Human milk for at least two yearsl

Yes, you should marry if you plan to have the baby. Your family has a right to be mad because you cannot imagine at all what is required to raise a baby right and give a baby a good life. They want the best for this baby and they want you to start setting up your life in such a way as to give your baby what she/he needs.

Answer 6

You've been dating for 2 months.....yet you are 3 months pregnant? Not to sound rude, but are you sure it is his?
If you are not sure of your future with this young man, then you should not move forward with the relationship just because there is a child involved. A lot of people think that it's the "right thing", but it might only make matters worse. About all I can suggest is that you two talk this through and figure out where your lives are directing. You may find that he is ok with you two living apart and having constant visitation with the child (sort of like joint custody). Don't make a leap before you know where you are landing!

Answer 7

First of all let me start by saying i think you should keep the baby.
i know this seems pretty hard now , and your life is about to take a huge turn around, but always remember that a baby is not a curse but a blessing. There are plenty of women out here that wishes they they were in your shoes and be pregnant, i know i'm one of them.I know that it might be hard at first but i really believe that you can make it, and you still can go to grad school. you are still young and you still can achieve your goals whatevever they may be, just pray and ask the lord to lead and guide you in all that you do.you are lucky that you have a good man that's sticking
by your side and are willing to chang his life for his child. count your blessings baby.just keep your head up and keep praying , the lord will take good care of you.Everybody makes mistakes, but we learn from them.i'll keep you in my prayers. And once again i think that you should keep your baby.

Answer 8

A baby is a blessing.Not everyone can have a baby.God or the powers that be have chosen the two of you to parent and guide this child into adulthood.Don't worry about what people say.Listen to your heart.Only you can make that decision.Remember this baby isn't a bad thing.You can do this.And you will be so happy you did.Take it from me I'm working on my third baby.I was 18 with my first and I was single.It was hard because I didn't have any suppot but I am so glad I didn't listen to people when they told me that I should abort her.They may not know it yet but your parents will love your baby and miss you all when your not right there.

Answer 9

I honestly think love takes time. Sometimes you don't realize how much you care about someone until they are gone. I also think you can learn to love someone. What is more important will he be a good father even if you are not together? Are you read to take care of a child?

From what you told me i would say yes. Keep it. No matter what decision you make it is your decision. I am not against abortion but i think if you are gonna do it. You need to make the decision in one day if you are gonna keep it or not. Talk it over with you bf. Ask him if he sees him self spending his life with you.


I wish you the best whatever you decide.

Answer 10

Yes, i think you should keep the baby..Keeping the baby would mean taking the consequences and the responsibilities for what you did for that baby to really exist. It would also show how you respect yourself as a person. The guy you said that you are "in like" is ready for the baby, so why shouldn't you right? Respect the right for the unborn to be able to live and be given a name...