Is this guy a player and why is he online so much?

Question

I met this guy online. We've been dating over a month. He's 62 and I'm 59 and both of us have a lot going on in looks and achievements. We're health conscious, exercise and are in good shape. He constantly suggests that we become intimate to "get that behind us so we can move forward". Up to now we have only been kissing (somewhat passionately). He called me tonight to say goodnight, that he was exhausted and going to sleep, yet I saw he was online for about an hour, apparently looking for another woman. It would not bother me so much if he weren't introducing me to all his friends, telling them he told his mother about me and that she was 'happy'. His subscription to the singles site will end in a couple of weeks. How would you handle this?
Am I missing something? It seems dishonest to come on like he is and then go online. I want to ignore it and see how it plays out, but part of me would like to tell him that I know he has been online even during the day when he's at work.

Answer 1

I think in order for any relationship to work, you need communication. Just talk to him about it. If he doesn't want to talk to you about it, or you feel he is lying to you then obviously your relationship isn't going to evolve anyways. It would be better to just get it out there, discuss it, and see what happens. Good luck!

Answer 2

You've only been going out just over a month. That is not enough time for a guy to commit...they like to play the field until they are sure one way or the other. It's his right and choice to keep looking and he is taking things slow. If you at least like the guy and think you would enjoy being intimate with him, then do it. Males sometimes form a closer bond with someone they have been intimate with. Sometimes not. Life is risk. Don't do it if you think YOU would become too attached. It might be a good idea for you to date a couple of other guys too so you will not become too fixated on him. Perhaps he doesn't tell you he's searching online because he likes you and is afraid you would stop seeing him. When you're with him, don't mention anything at all about suspecting what he is doing! Enjoy his company and be a great (fun)(interesting) date. Feelings (genuine) take time to grow.
Best of luck. Keep your chin up.

Answer 3

OMG! You're 59 and worrying about his hormones!
This is what you do: call him up, invite him for a nice, home-cooked diner, tell him to bring a nice bottle of wine (small one), and after coffee and dessert, pound him. Just relieve yourself of all your tensions. Use him if you have to- treat him like an object, for a change. Then, just before he falls into a deep sleep, making sure you're satisfied first, nudge him and explain how he has to go home because you're expecting someone bright and early the next morning and he shouldn't be there. Now he's gone, you're smiling from ear to ear, knowing full well he's exhausted and wouldn't even think of hopping online to flirt, but just to make sure you can check. 10 to 1 the next day he's calling you to thank you for such a wonderful night and if you would like to dine at his place next time. Now! You've got the deal! Choose a restaurant of your choice, a movie, a stroll in the park, anything your heart desires, then have diner with him. Then it's your choice what you do, but if you enjoyed the first night, don't give that option away!
You're young, but not that young! Enjoy yourself! Breath every moment like it were your last, or at least have more great times than boring or bad ones!
If you get along you might form a nice partnership, if not, well, you had a baul or two! (pardon the pun!)

Answer 4

it sounds like to me that you both are pretty content with the situation. although it is starting to get serious, it is still only been a month since youve two just been dating. i would say that the reason he doesnt tell you he is getting online is probably because he doesnt feel the need to tell every little detail, and if you bring it up, he will probably get mad, and possibly be a little apprehensive about getting more serious with you. some men are like that. and men get online for all different kinds of reasons other than meeting women, he may just be playing a game or anything. but, regardless of what he is doing, if i were you i wouldnt sabatoge the relationship before it really begins.
give him the benifit of the doubt, and dont make a big deal about it.
im sure everything will work out just fine, but be careful not to scare him off with hints of jealousy.
good luck

Answer 5

Well, just telling you I am 12 so this is my advise. I think you you guy's are taking this realationship to serous it only has been a month. He might be online all the time but, that does not mean he is a player you know. He can be doing other stuff like playing some games, talking with his friends, doing some research for work that's probably why he is online at work you know give him a brake don't take it to serous. You should slow it down with him and get to know him better.


GOOD LUCK ! ! !



-Desree'

Answer 6

I think you should wait a while, at least untill his subscribtion expires, but I suggest you still keep your guard up to prevent you from getting hurt. See how it works out. You might be wrong about something, and you should never jump to conclusions. If you're absolutely sure that he's looking for another woman, maybe you could talk to him about it and ask him how he really feels about you, because if I was in your situation, I would be a bit confused too.

Though it does seem like he really does like you, since he's telling everyone, including his mother about you. Don't be too worried for now.

Answer 7

How do you know he was looking for another woman and not doing other things? If you say it's because you can see him "online" in a site like Yahoo, the accounts are all connected and he might just be reading the news.

It really sounds like he likes you and wants to progress your relationship. Have you two talked about being exclusive?

I hope he isn't looking for another lady, but if he is, it's time to talk about where things are going. Good luck!

Answer 8

Becasue American Boys kick A** and have been all solid interior the sack, umm no longer fairly yet.........i'm ( As he smiles) notice how i did no longer go away my digital mail, handle. Thats becsue i'm no longer an information superhighway guy. Wow that replaced into organic BS at that's maximum appropriate aside from the sack subject, i'm a super sleeper.

Answer 9

LOL, I'm 22 years old and can tell you this. All he wants is to get in your pants, and move on. Or 'forward'. Whatever...
In my opinion you should keep playing hard to get! See how long he keeps hanging around, how committed he really is. I wouldn't, however, confront him about what you know... yet. Let things pan out a little longer, get some more info about what he is really looking for.

Answer 10

Sorry but it sounds to me like he is just looking for someone to sleep with. Why else would he be mentioning sex like this and as if there is nothing to it? He probably told you about his mother being happy about you because he knows you will think he is serious about the relationship. This is an old trick. I would not waste my breath on this guy. He is already lying about little things. He doesn't seem trustworthy too. This doesn't seem like something I would want to spend my time and energy in. Move on..

Answer 11

Dear Cameo?

well, one month is too short to have an intimate relationship. don't you think.. if he wants get together just tell him that you not ready? There are more guys in the yahoo.com. and do not feel insure...go meet more individuals and be open minded to tell any one you are not ready to hop in the bed..4 weeks to short time .. no one can tell you or make you feel obligated for anything.. may be communication and chemistry is not ready for this... what do you think... just smile... you do not have to if you do not want to ...respectfully.. PS.. make sure you are on line too .. he will see it..