Getting ready for my Boyfriend to leave for Iraq in about a year what can i do?

Question

this has gotten really hard for me and him i dont know what to do to mentally prepare myself for this. also what to do while he is gone are there any groups i can go to or something how can i communicate with him while he is there. anything will help. how can we prepare our relationship for this any advice is good. please try to answer as many things as you can

he is in the airforce and will be leaving in about a year what can i do for our relationship, for him, me, and just to prepare for this to happen.

Answer 1

i think you can move into a community of soldiers husband and wives. Try going here to read a little more about this.http://www.military.com/

Answer 2

My hubby left in October, and there really wasn't anything I could do to prepare for it. Only time heals how sad and depressed you will get once he actually leaves. I had a really rough month in October, and it has gotten 'better.' The only thing that has helped me is the passing of time. The more time that passes, the closer I am to seeing him again.

He is coming next weekend for R&R and I can't wait. It will be hard to let him go again, but he will be back!

Now from what I understand, he is leaving Iraq in a year? That means you have a year to spend with him. Make the best of every moment...you will be thinking a lot about the times that you had together while he is gone and you will want nothing but good memories to think about!

What you need is faith, trust, great communication, be open with each other. Let him know exactly where you stand...that you will be here waiting for him, and you will be strong for him.

Depending on where he is going in Iraq, he could have really good means of communication. My husband and I talk on the pay phones everyday. You should buy him a phone card that both you and him can recharge over the phone. The best one to use can be bought at the PX or you can buy them on aafes.com. My husband and I also talk through Yahoo messenger. We have webcams so we can look at each other while we type. My husband has private internet in his room. It is $170 for 3 months, which he splits in half with his 'roommate'.

Talking to him always makes me feel better, especially when I am down. I swear to you the first week that he left, when he would call me, I would answer the phone in tears. Knowing that he was calling would always make me cry! Now I always answer the phone with a smile because the first thing he ALWAYS says is "I love you."

So, like I said, it is a really difficult thing to prepare for. Make sure that you and your boyfriend are on the same page. Try to resolve any major arguements or problems months in advance. Don't start any new ones.

Write him a letter for each day that he is gone. He will love to get mail from you!

Be strong for him...it is okay to be sad and depressed at first, but show him that you are resilient and you can handle the separation. It is healthy to gradually feel better, even if he is gone. He will feel better knowing that you are okay and that you aren't falling into a depression.

Send him special things in your packages...things to remind him of home. Buy a bunch of sharpies and write notes on the flaps of the cardboard boxes before you close them and tape the box up.

Also, what I did was count out 365 marble type stones. I got them from Wal-Mart. They are in the decoration aisles. They come in a bunch of different colors. So I put 365 of those into a jar. I bought a separate empty jar so that each day that passed, I would put one into the empty jar. It helps to see the empty jar getting fuller and fuller.

Good luck to you and you are smart for preparing for this in advance. I wish you and your boyfriend happiness and that he comes home safe. God bless you and him. :)

Answer 3

I will be shipping tomorrow, so I know the anxiety you have, I share it with my girlfriend and we're handling it well so far. I'm not 100% sure on this just yet, but my mother did some research on cellphones that were capable of making international calls, had to have some sort of special chip in them and only a powerful enough cellphone could handle it, most common one capable of such is the Motorola Razor. Just talk to a representative at a Radio Shack or a cellphone provider's store, they'll get you what you both need to stay in touch.

Until then there's always emails and calling cards, lots and lots of calling cards.

Goodluck!

Answer 4

Believe it or not, there are plenty of resources available to you as a girlfriend. Granted, you can't do much on post, however, you can get involved with your boyfriend's unit's FRG (Family Readiness Group). They won't kick you out because you aren't an ID card holder.

There are groups on Yahoo, Myspace, and MSN that offer support. Granted, it's over the internet, yet sometimes you can find people near you going through the same things.

Also, check out militaryonesource.com. There is a ton of information there.

As for what to do when he is gone...go to college, get a full time job, go to the gym, volunteer. Whatever you do...DO NOT SIT AT HOME!!! It will make you crazy. I am on my 3rd rotation as an Army Wife and sitting at home for the last 2 about killed me.

Due to OPSEC (ask your man), be careful what you discuss over the internet. As for communication with your man, I have been fortunate, as have most of my friends, to talk to my husband VIA internet and phone. Ask your man to talk to his unit and see what will be available to him. Care packages and hand written letters are also key. The guys (and gals) love getting letters and care packages from home.

Always keep the channel of communication open. There will be days when he just wants to call and talk about what he is experiencing over there. Listen to what he has to say. If he doesn't want to talk, let him know you love him and are there for him when he is ready to talk.

You can't mentally prepare yourself for what you are about to go through. I have tried and all three times, I failed. This time, I am fortunate enough to be in college so a lot of my time is occupied.

Spend quality time together while he is home. Avoid fighting. I know you are thinking I am crazy however, I am being serious.

Good luck to you both!

Answer 5

Since you are not married there won't be any military help to prepare you for the split. If you love him, stay faithful, write him loving letters and pray. For now spend lots of time together, make him feel special, let him know you are truly waiting for him.
He will at times be very busy, so communication is kind of limited but he will be able to call and write. I'm deploying next month, I wish you two best of luck and just know he will come back to you, the news sensationalize alot of whats going on, its not as bad as it seems.

Answer 6

I highly recommend CincHouse and Military.com forums. Also check with Yahoo groups, MySpace and anywhere else you network for groups of military wives and girlfriends. You can search either for general groups, branch of service groups, groups for the base your BF is stationed out of, groups for military in your state... The support can help a lot.

You also want your boyfriend to check with the command when he fills out his paperwork to see what the commander says about girlfriends being on it. How much information the ombudsman and Family Readiness Group (FRG) can share with you depends on the commander's take on the paperwork. If you're not listed as a contactable person on his than the groups affiliated with the command can't share anything with you. I've seen groups where it was open to wives only, ones where it was wives and fiances, and ones where it was open to girlfriends too.

Answer 7

it can be extremely hard having a significant other deploy, i have been on both sides (the soldier, and then the spouse) so i definately know how hard it is. there really is nothing you can do to prepare yourself, just spend as much time as you can with him. when he is gone the best thing to do is hang out with your girlfriends and keep yourself busy. he will have internet and phone access when he is over there and he will be able to keep in touch with you pretty easily. most soldiers are allowed to have cell phones over there, I HIGHLY recommend it, it makes life so much easier when you are back here worrying that something happened, you can just call him.

Answer 8

In terms of groups to join, I joined the forum at www.cinchouse.com and it's been invaluable. Lots of women going through similar situations and offering a great deal of support.
Go check that out. The website itself also has a lot of information on.

Answer 9

Army bases usually have programs that help with that. Contact your local base and ask around.

Answer 10

i would be with him and help him out