Left hubby 2 mo ago. Long story, had felony warrant. Well, we have been speaking to one another so 3 yr old daughter can talk to him (we are 2000 miles away from him). This went on up until 3 wks ago when he dropped contact. Problem is that every time she got off phone with her dad, she would start to act out. I know that it is her way of showing her confusion over the situation. I would not mind letting him see her, but he would have to come back to WA to do that and this is where his warrant is. I do not want to risk him getting arrested and her getting put in a foster home if she were with him. Well, he contacted me again via email just last night wanting to talk to her. Claims he has been busy with work (true or not, I do not know for sure). I want them to talk, but I am concerned about her acting out or getting their bond back only to have him drop off the face of the planet again. She has not asked for him, but I want to do the right thing.
2007-03-04 15:11:45 · 5 answers · asked by Ghost Writer 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
For the record, all the proper channels are aware of his running from the law. I am not teaching her that this is ok. So, for all of you who are so quick to judge me, GET A LIFE!
2007-03-04 16:10:08 · update #1
Why is it that there are people who think that I am as bad as he? I chose to get my daughter out of the situation and into a stable home and environment. Her father is the one who thinks that running is the only answer. I have made it clear to him that he needs to come back and get this dealt with, but he refuses to do so.
2007-03-04 16:14:32 · update #2
You know your first concern must be for her safety and welfare. If you are concerned about her dad's errant behavoir and she seems to be doing OK not talking with him, let things simmer for awhile until she is used to the two of you being alone. Good luck, my thoughts are with you.
2007-03-05 02:16:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this is hard and certainly confusing for a three year old.
Even if she was 12 or 16 she still would not be able to comprehend,. We as adults have a hard time with it, this is not what we planned. It happens. A husband, a Father who has two felony warrants needs to stay as far away as you can get you and your daughter. Him dropping contact most likely means he was in a relationship that he did not want to leave. He will do the same thing again & again, when it is good for him, not you or your three year old. He most likely loves her, but his priorities are not in the right order. If he calls you need to listen in on these calls, he could be telling her anything, especially against you. This only confuses the child more.
Try a different way of handling things such as, Monday, Wednesday & Friday's we go to the park, take a walk, & always read to her at night this will make her feel secure.
Cut the phone off at night, when you have quite time with your daughter, go to McDonald's & eat outside so she can play on the equipment. Even if the Dept. of Human Service finds out that he has felony warrants, you would be placing yourself and your daughter in significant risk. Get involed in a local Church that you are comfortable with. Jesus can take these burdens and give you & your daughter peace and joy. Good Luck!
2007-03-04 23:41:47 · answer #2 · answered by NJ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a sticky situation. I feel for you. My opinion is to tell him that until he has cleaned his life up he can't see or talk to her. You don't want to risk her mental health. Your daughter is so young don't put her in situation that you are unsure of or that you are not 100% comfortable with. Maybe if he got things settled in his life he could be a better dad. It is very selfish him to run away from the warrants instead of dealing with them. Now he's not only running from the law but he's running from his daughter.
2007-03-04 23:27:07 · answer #3 · answered by prissymama 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DEAR
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT OK PLEASE DO NOT THINK YOU ARE A REALLY BAD MOTHER YOU ARE NOT OK WITH THAT SAID OK. IT IS HIS FAULT IF HE IS ON THE RUN AND DOES NOT WANT TO FACE HIS PREAMBLES LIKE A REAL MAN.
HE IS THE ONE MISSING OUT ON HIS LITTLE GIRLS LIFE NOT YOU OK UNTIL HE DEALS WITH MATTER HE WILL MISS IT ALL JUST WAIT UNTIL SHE IS 15 TO 19 YEARS OLD AND ASK DADDY WHY WAS YOU NOT THERE FOR ME ALL THOSE YEARS LET HIM FACE THE MUSIC NOT YOU OK
TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK
2007-03-05 02:08:41 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And what are you teaching your child by enabling her father to run from the law? Obviously your child SHOULD be in a foster home since your morals and ethics are as bad as they are.
2007-03-04 23:52:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋