My bestfriend is getting married and asked me to be her maid of honor, of course I said yes. But I have so much jealousy towards her because I just lost my fiance of 3 years. I can't bare to tell her the truth but I almost can't stand doing things with her because all I can think about is that she is getting married and I'm not! I know this is so high school but I feel crazy and don't know what to do?!?! HELP!
2007-03-04 13:53:38 · 10 answers · asked by lazerangel99 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You should just tell her how you feel. She should understand if she is a true friend......In a round about way this happened to me. I am getting married this Saurday and my brother is/was my best man. I asked him months ago and all was fine. However, now he is going through a ugly divorce and I let him know he didnt have to do it. I know it was going to be hard on him and he had too much on his mind, so I told him dont worry about it that its no big deal. I changed it up and now have my brother in law as my best man and my brother isnt even in the wedding.....It was a huge relief for him actually....You should tell her..she should understand. Just dont wait until the last minute. The longer you wait the worse it will be for her.
2007-03-05 03:45:58 · answer #1 · answered by Win the West!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth about how you feel, that this is too soon after your loss to do this, being the maid of honor is a lot of work and it doesnt sound like you are up to the challenge. Tell her you still care about her but you cant handle this so soon and that she should find someone else who can do a better job for her.
2007-03-04 22:26:58 · answer #2 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is really hard for you to go thru. I think you should tell her that you are going to be her maid of honor and also tell her its kind of hard because of your lost. Even though she is getting married her life won't be perfect. She needs you to be there for her and she needs to be there for you! I feel the same way all my friends are getting married and here I am. The right person will be come! Just grin and bare it. Its only for one day!
2007-03-04 22:03:06 · answer #3 · answered by Robin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should think about your feelings a little more. You might want to think about how you would want to be treated by your best friend. When a person goes on thru life one of the things you learn is to become more selfless for others. In other words, not everything in life is for yourself and you come to the realization that you no longer seek to always be in the center of the circle. You'll feel even more love and happiness for yourself once you have matured enough to come to this realization.
2007-03-04 22:07:27 · answer #4 · answered by mulderlx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So why don't you confide in your friend that you hurt? Where is that so horrible?You are still trying to heal from this awful blow you've been delivered.
There is no reason to be envious of your friend. Are you upset because she has someone & you don't or because she's planning a wedding & you're not? There's a BIG difference.
If you can't be happy for your friend, then I suggest you bow out & let someone else take your place.
I also suggest you get counselling to help you get through this. There are good free or low cost agencies in your town. Find one.
2007-03-04 22:02:55 · answer #5 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor (or friend). Be genuinely happy for her. If you were engaged for 3 years, come on, could you really expect that relationship to turn into a marriage. If it was right, you would've been married much sooner. Getting over it will take time, but allowing the green monster to come between you and your girlfriend surely will not help. BE GENUINELY HAPPY FOR HER! Forgive yourself and your former significant other, learn more about yourself, and then begin again seeking a mate. I feel for you, but you have to get to work on your self. That way when the opportunity is right again for romance, you'll be prepared. Good Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
2007-03-04 22:05:49 · answer #6 · answered by TN Seeker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look beyond yourself here, her wedding is not about you, she has asked you to be a part of the most special day of her life, and you should be honored, not jealous. You need to be there for her, as she will you, again start to think about her and not yourself in this case.
2007-03-04 22:24:02 · answer #7 · answered by St.Jeb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really care about this best friend and she the same, tell her how you are feeling. let her know that you are going through a really rough time right now. Most likely if she is your true best friend she will understand and maybe make a few changes to make you feel a little more comfortable about everything.
2007-03-04 22:00:29 · answer #8 · answered by shelly63795 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
imm sotry that happened to you. mabe you should sit her down and tell her how hard this is for you and she can help u. and dont worry when the right person comes it will hapen
2007-03-04 22:02:23 · answer #9 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel your pain. i would say bottle it in and let her enjoy her moment. what ever you do dont ruin it for her by stealing her thunder and making it all about you. you will prolly get over it eventually (meh)
2007-03-04 22:02:30 · answer #10 · answered by moral TERPitude 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋