should i do this for myself?

Question

i'm 20 years old. i just got out of a really long term relationship, not to sound like a spoiled ***** but my parents pretty much have given me anything i've asked for, they pay my bills, and i don't have a problem living here. i love my family, they are the only people who truly matter to me anymore, i love them very much. however i'm 20 and feel that i should take some responsibility in my life and move out and live on my own to see how well i could do it, it will only teach me better for my future. i want to have to work and worry about paying bills and not being able to run to my parents for everything. i also want my ex to see that i have changed in many ways and am not the way i used to be. aka..still love him and still want him back, trying to show him i'm a changed person. is this a mistake wanting to take responsibility for myself at 20..should i wait longer? all opinions matter to me, so please don't be rude or mean or make fun, i'm very serious about this. thank you

i do want to do it for myself, i feel that i have to, however, i'm trying to show him that i've changed and i think thay may be my last hope, and if it doesn't make a difference to him, then atleast i took this big step for myself.


i already have my dream job, i currently have my own business, so i'm not too worried about the financial issues.

Answer 1

I think you should do it, if you feel that you're ready. I don't think you should do it for your ex, though-do it for you. I also think that you should consider yourself very lucky that you have your parents to fall back on if it doesn't work out. Good luck.

Answer 2

You should move out and create your own life, but not to get him back. Fact is he left you for a reason and changing your surroundings won't change why he left you. You are doing the right thing but for the wrong reasons. That will only lead to disappointment on your part.

Figure out what you want to do and set about doing it. Don't leave until you are financially able to, meaning you have a good paying job.

You need to grow and become the person you want to be, that will take more time than you think. It will also mean he has moved on too. Find someone new and you will be happier for it.

Answer 3

hey. I'm sympathetic to your question because my parents also pay for everything and i live in their house and i don't have gf because girls consider me lazy, crazy and irresponsible (not that i claim the opposite but that's another story). And i want to take charge of my own bills ... kind of. btw, i wanted to do this five yrs ago when i was like you now but didn't have the courage. However, i would rather forget about any ex and start with tabula rasa. Whats the point to attempt changing their opinion especially when it is deep down. Anyways, good luck to you.

Answer 4

I think that you should start by asking your mother or father to show you how to write out bills. And then you should start paying for your phone bill and other things like that. Then you need to move out into your own place and pay your own bills and not get help from mommy and daddy. hey my parents give me everything i want too. but im not 20 yet and if you dont have a job yet...get one of those too.
ps. make it legal. haha.
good luck.

Answer 5

I think it is a wonderful idea to take that step of independence. But don't do it to show your ex you have changed, do it for yourself. The rewards will benefit you for the rest of your life. It sounds as if you have a pretty good head on your shoulders and you will succeed in moving onto independence. Best of wishes....

Answer 6

At 20, you should take responsibility for yourself. Don't do it to impress an ex-boyfriend. That's over. Move into your own place, if you can. Move on in your life, and get a new boyfriend.

Answer 7

Ofcourse you should take responsibility for yourself at 20. When I was your age I'd already been a soldier for 3 years.
You need to get out and find out for yourself exactly what everything is about. The longer you stay with your parents doing everything for you the harder you will find it when you do go.

Answer 8

dont do this to get the ex back.
first you need to get a job. then sit down with your parents, and go over allllll the bills that go along with being on your own. i think its great you want to do this. it will be hard. you might have to work two jobs. if your going to get a room mate. do a thorough investigation on that person. be careful and lock your doors. good luck

Answer 9

Yes i agree with you, show him that your more mature and ready to move on to the next step in your life. This will tell him that you are mature and ready for the next step when he probably thought that you were too imature even if you weren't.

Answer 10

Sounds like youd feel better about yourself if you moved out and took care of yourself.