Is it good to spank your kids? I think Magic 123 is a load of c__p myself.?

Question

This is from a confused father who is having hard time to get my 8 year old and 3 year old too listen, actually both my wife and I. Just wanted to know if you people think spanking kids will make them listen.

Answer 1

The 8 year old is now at the age that if time outs, groundings and other forms of punishment dont work, to get a spanking. Just remember that you never spank in anger, only to correct. So controll your temper. Thats your responsibility. The 3 year old should still respond favorably to time outs. Good luck.

Answer 2

Have you ever watched Super Nanny on ABC? She pretty much spells it out how to discipline---without spanking. Really-- spanking is not the way to go. I have 3 VERY well behaved kids and I have never spanked them. I am really strict though and expect a lot of them. I have just always been *consistent* with what I expect, and have given consequences *every time* those expectations are not met. That coupled with constant teaching, nurturing, talking about respect (respecting others, their siblings, themselves.....) has made for 3 well behaved kids. There really is an art to discipline----I would suggest reading some books on it, "Positive Discipline" by Jane Nelson is a great one to start with.

Not spanking does NOT mean Not disciplining. Not even close. I am a middle school teacher and I'm tough. I don't spank my students and yet I somehow get them to behave (with little or NO parental support..... the kids I teach have parents who don't care/are not involved in the school at all.) Before I had kids, I always thought to myself, --- If I can control a classroom of 25 13 year olds without spanking--surely I could handle my 3 at home. It absolutely can be done..... and in my opinion spanking only HURTS discipline. It breaks down the basic idea of respect and the SELF motivation of the child to behave. If you can build that self motivation from the beginning, then your role as "disciplinarian" is less and less and getting them to behave is pretty much a piece of cake.

Answer 3

Spanking is definitely not the answer. I also agree that Magic 123 doesn't work. The most reliably effective discipline today is the time out system. When it is used properly, it is effective 90% of the time. You need to establish a time out spot (chair in the hallway, bottom stair,etc) where there are no toys or TV (bedroom is not a good place). Explain why the child is being disciplined (Johnny, you are going to time out because you hit your sister). Time out lasts for the same number of minutes as your child's age in years. They must not leave the spot until time out is up. If they leave it, direct them back but don't speak too much (carry them there if you have to). Choose just a few words and only use those words, maybe "go back to the steps" (they don't get any attention while on time out). It is also important you reserve time out for more serious offences or it will be ineffective. They will know that if you give a time out, you mean business. After time out, they must apologize for what they did, and you discuss together why it was wrong. I hope this works for you, and remember to give it at least a couple of months before you decide whether it is working. It can take awhile for your family to get the hang of this.

Answer 4

I have never spanked my child and would only use that as the last resort. Every situation is different. Sometimes yelling is enough. I usually try to talk in a nice calm voice so when my son hears me yelling at him he knows that it is serious. But yelling is also something I don't like to do.
Counting 1, 2, 3 seems to work, but only when followed with decisive punishments when you hit 3. It must be something that will make your child think twice the next time. When younger taking away favorite toys or privleges and then the only way they get get it back it by being good for a certain amount of time. They must earn their lost toy or privlege back.
Another technique we sometimes use is we have a calendar and three markers, green, blue and red, where blue is a warning. If for dinner or lunch a child gets a red mark something gets taken away and it takes three green marks to get it back. Since we have problems with our child eating that is what we use this technique for, but you could use it for a different behavior or activity.
The articles I have listed below in the source box also gave us some good ideas. The most important thing is to not lose your composure or calm. When yelling starts things just tend to escillate. Be calm, and decisive. That helps us most of the times. As I said each situation is different and you will need to find something that works for you. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

I was spanked and it worked for me I am now 25 and have never been to jail and still will not talk back to my parents and I have kids of my own LOL. I do spank my son as well who is 1 1/2 and he is very well behaved most of the time and even knows to say please and thank you before he gets anything. I don't think dissaplineing your child is wrong as long as it doesn't get out of hand. The 8 year old can be grounded and have things taken away from her since I think she may be a bit old to spank but the 3 year old is still young enough to spank. You can also try makeing them stand in corners or with their noise to the wall with a penny under it. But I think all children should have some form of dissapline and maybe this world will turn around agian if we start to do it again and stop woundering if we are going to be introuble for it.

Answer 6

When I misbehaved my Mom spanked me and I not only listened but I behaved.

But I believe spankings only work for some kids while I learnt from a spanking my younger brother never did. So my mom used a loss of privileges system with him.

You just need to find what works with your kids and if that's spankings then so be it.

Answer 7

This may not be a politically correct answer, but yes I spanked, my son is older now. I used spanking as a last resort and never when I was angry. This generation now is the first generation that spanking was believed to be unacceptable. This generation of teenagers and young adults are horrid. Yet, I have a teenager with manners and respectable. Many have asked me how. I tell them that I loved him when he needed it but I swatted his bottom when he needed it to.

Answer 8

The idea of spanking is to equate in the child's mind:
what I did = pain and unpleasantness
so that they won't do it again the next time (well, they might test you a couple more times just to see if you mean it).
It works in appropriate situations. If you want a child to stop crying or stop tantruming, spanking is not going to work, it will make things worse. But if your child disobeyed you and, say, climbed up the outside of the staircase (I can totally see my 3 year old doing that), a spanking is a good way of making the consequences painful and meaningful.

Answer 9

Shame shame how can you hit and 8 and 3 year old
talking to kids would make them listen...

you can listen to words
but you cant listen to a spank

Answer 10

No, I don't agree on spanking. Alot of old fashioned people think that spanking children were the good old days and blame parents who don't spank for the state of people today. Spanking is easy because it lets you rule your children through fear. Anyone can be a parent and most just rely on old habits and impulses. It is a cycle that continues and continues.
An intelligent disciplinary method is using reasoning at the child's level of understanding. Time out and removing privileges are great ways to teach right from wrong. Hitting just teaches kids to be sneaky and studies show that it lowers their IQ. There is so much information out there saying that it is a form of abuse. Many child-rearing authorities oppose the use of spanking and there is so much research advising against it nowadays.
Spanking teaches that bigger people may hit smaller people or stronger people may hit weaker people. Hitting is assault for everyone but a parent.....
Using physical discipline proves that the person lacks intelligence especially in early childhood development. But you will often hear "I was spanked and I turned out fine." The common justification on this site from people claiming that because they were spanked, this is why they turned out great. Check out this site below because it will help you make your decision.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100.asp