A friend of mine is currently working and engaged to a man with a very high salary (over six figures). They plan on having 5 children right away after the wedding since they are both 30 and don't want to be having babies still in their 40's. He is demanding that she sign a pre-nup because she wants to quit working to become a stay-at-home mother and he doesn't think that the job is all that tough so if they are to get divorced she shouldn't be rewarded with any type of divorce settlement or keep their $3mil home since she never "worked" during the marriage. I am just wondering what kind of work is involved trying to raise 5 children all under the age of about 7 or 8? While cooking and cleaning a 6,000 sq ft home on your own without any help from maids, cooks, nannies, etc.. I feel bad for her because he basically calls her lazy when she tries to tell him how much work is involved with kids. He usually just replies with "not really". Any ideas/thoughts/opinions? Please share...
2007-03-04 12:56:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
"Any ideas/thoughts/opinions?"
Yes. The fiancé's an idiot, and your friend is being a naif for marrying him.
Sorry, but that _is_ absurd.
Done well, being a stay-at-home-mother to _one_ is a full-time job. Maintaining a large house is a job. All that and FIVE under 7 or 8...
Yikes.
People have repeatedly tried to put a dollar value on parenting and housework, and it never comes out cheaply. That's for the more normal sort of modest house and one or two kids, too.
Just imagine what one would pay to hire people to do all that. Frankly, it is NOT the sort of thing I'd want to volunteer for: she'll spend a lot of her time exhausted (being pregnant so often), and it looks like she'll be married to a dick.
"Woman Bills Husband for All the Housework She Did
Can a wife put a price tag on housework? One woman says yes, and is seeking $500,000 for the work she did during 5½ years of marriage."
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/AmericanFamily/story?id=977565
It's a bit out there to claim six hours a day at $20/hr with no kids, but.
Ah, wait. Here's what I was looking for:
http://www.newint.org/issue181/facts.htm
Lists pay rates for the various jobs she'd be doing, average hours spent doing ditto, etc.
2007-03-04 13:03:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should get while the gettin's good. He sounds like an unappreciative tyrant. Why should she want to subject any children to that kind of abusive role model of a father. If she wants children maybe she should try artificial insemination. Mothering a newborn is a 24 hour a day at your service sir and maam job. Multiply that by 5...... The guy doesn't sound like he will be changing a diaper or doing any of the comforting or maintenance work that is part of being a good parent. Where is her brain? A 6,000 sq ft home is another full time job. She is asking for heartache by pursuing this relationship.
2007-03-04 13:41:27 · answer #2 · answered by plaplant8 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is awful. i couldn't handle being married to a man with that attitude.... maybe he needs to spend some time at home looking after kids and then he might get an idea how much is involved. i only have one baby and am at home and very busy. i cannot imagine how you would do it with five! being a stay at home mom is basically 24-7 with no breaks. when you do get any down time if the kids are asleep or whatever, there are a million things to do to keep the house running, it is a lot more work than any other job i have ever had, but it is much more enjoyable!
2007-03-04 13:06:54 · answer #3 · answered by uenuku 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds already like a marriage with major problems. Your friends husband finds no worth in a women who wants to stay at home with her kids so she will never receive any respect/ help/ understanding/ or support from him. There is alot of work and I work more now then I ever did employed. You do not realize how much is required when you are with them all the time. I hope you friend realizes that money isn't everything and this guy seems like a flake.
2007-03-04 13:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by fyrechick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he treats her that way why in the world would she marry him? She shouldn't sign the pre nup let alone have kids with him! I only have one child and I work full time. But 5 kids, are they insane. He can't expect her to do that on her own and work. If he wants her to work they don't need to have that many kids. How did they come up with this wild idea when it's something they obviously don't agree on?
2007-03-04 13:01:42 · answer #5 · answered by Nette 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she could be paid for all the jobs a stay-at-home mom does, she should earn $134,121 annually. Factor in 5 kids and the size of the house...probably much more.
Sounds like he is a real jerk. Be careful not to hurt her feelings though. I had to break off a friendship b/c I hated the man my friend married. It was bad.
Neat link:
2007-03-04 13:11:01 · answer #6 · answered by SouthernGrits 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I read somewhere once that being a stay at home mum could equate to a salary of around $75000 with 2 kids...one could only think that your friends value would be well over that of her sodding fiance...i mean what a twit! Tell your friend that her fiance should stay home for a month (if they are that well off then they could afford to) and be the stay at home dad (with a list of what needs to be done every day). See how he likes it! Men like that make me MAD! tell your friend to give him the boot BEFORE she makes a big mistake marrying him
2007-03-04 13:14:08 · answer #7 · answered by fitMel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like kind of a bastard. I wouldn't marry him and I certainly wouldn't stick five innocent children with a father like that. A lot of work goes into it, and I do mean a lot. Especially if the children are spoiled brats, which it sounds like they would probably be. This whole thing is just a recipe for disaster.
2007-03-04 13:04:54 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you begin a marraige thinkong of divorse it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. Tell your friend to start running and don't look back. This is a recipe for diaster for years to come. Find someone who knows the gift of raising children is -- in a word--priceless!
2007-03-04 13:14:23 · answer #9 · answered by CHos3n 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like they say a stay at home mom has a little bit of everything in it. Doctor, dentist, cook, teacher, etc..........when the child gets sick she say's "honey junior sick can he take him to the doctor" or when junior needs to go to the dentist "honey can he take him to the dentist also." Cooking too they get to go shopping and have fun keeping a budget and stuff. Also a teacher they get to exert authority and it isn't very hard to teach your child because no matter what you love them.
2007-03-04 13:03:38 · answer #10 · answered by krumpmaster terrell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋