boyfriend is avoiding me, what should i do?

Question

my boyfriend and i have a long distance relationship and we havent seen eachother in the last 8 months. He's visiting me from germany to minnesota early april. His mother was recently diagnoised with liver Cirrhosis, which is a life treatening illness and a liver transplant is needed. He is usually great about talking about his feelings, which many men cannot do, but he does better than me. But lately we havent talked, like the last 2 weeks.He always says he's busy. When we do get a word in he's obviously really sad and depressed. We finally got a quick word, literally 5 minutes, in today and now he's telling me he cant talk for awhile again because he is really busy. He tells me he loves me and misses me over and over, i know he isnt cheating, but that he is having a really hard time. His moms biopsy is coming up and he's really nervous about the outcome. What can i do to help him? How can i be there for him with this distance? and him avoiding me?

i know for a fact he isnt cheating, and im trying to give him space but i feel that since im his girlfriend i should do something for him. I know he's having a tough time with his mom thats why i want to be there for him.
Im going to germany this june, so i dont have any money to go out there now and visit.

Answer 1

Girl, I am sorry to hear your man is dealing with this, its terrible to go through and I know its hard for you cause you cant be there to help him and comfort him with your presence.But in truth pulling him away with phone calls is hard.I suggest sending him a letter or card with you thoughts and feelings for him and his family. Something he can look at over and over again for comfort and also look at when he wants or needs too.Words on the phone come and go,words written sometimes can last a life time.Try it you will see those words written will make him always see you are there for him and share in his trials.
Good luck and god bless!!

Answer 2

He is busy with what? The truth is that unless you are there with him 24-7 you do NOT know he isnt cheating on you.Maybe he is working 12-16 hrs a day?working 8-12 hours and going to school?Is he in the military?Maybe not much money for the phone bill from germany?Maybe he is losing intrest in you?A long distance relationship is hard to maintain few do it.Wait until he comes home so you can have a long talk.

Answer 3

Send him a care package, letting him know you are there for him . Call him and leave him messages every so often just to say you were thinking about him .Send his mom a care package. Some flowers. Let his mom know you want to be there for him. When you call to leave him a message, make sure one of the first things you do is let him know you were calling to see how things were going with his mom. See if there is anything you can do for her or him. Good luck. Also try to give him the space he needs. Just do this once or twice a week.

Answer 4

I think hes just really stressted out about his mom. Your boyfriend sounds really caring and loving. I think a way to help him is maybe give him a little space, maybe he needs time to think about whats going on with his mom. It doesnt sound like hes cheating , so if i were you, dont worry about it. Maybe go and see him, for maybe just a week, or less, just for comfort. But it may be expensive and you can wait till he comes in april. I think hes not avoiding you his mind is probably just really busy with his mom and everything, trust him, love him, care for him and be the best you can be to him, he needs support mostly now. Good Luck

Answer 5

There could be alot happening here. Usually when you love someone you want to share your bad news, and your stressful times. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it seems that perhaps he doesnt want to tell you that he is having second thoughts. I am sorry but it sure looks that way. What can you do for him?? You are trying everything you can at a distance, what more can you do? Not much. If he doesnt want to talk to you it seems he is being very insensitive to you and your heart and he is loosing interest in you I am sorry . When I lost my mother and was going through the pain while she was sick I wanted my husband near me and if I was dating I would want my boyfriend. So I am sorry I do not buy it that its grief and pain something is very very fishy here.

Answer 6

Go to Germany he probably is very busy cirrhosis is deadly and it cannot be cured.. He is probably also very sad because he will only have one mom you just need to be understanding

Answer 7

WOW slow down.....you need to think about all that he is going thru with his mom being sick. He needs to spend as much time with her as poss....also my best advice for you is to treat this like he is a guy who just told you he wanted to go on a break or that he needed his space.....give it to him....make yourself unavaliable do not take his phone calls for one or two days and do not call him..it seems harsh but it should work.

Answer 8

try 2 take his mind over it by talkin bout diff. things diff. topics it sounds like he goin through alot but u have 2 be there 4 him n dont mind him bein distance withu is what men dont when they r stress even if they have xperince openiness b4 jus let him b 4 now

Answer 9

I think u should tell him what u told us...just tell him how u feel..if he really cares then he will listen, and if he doesn't listen to u then u should probably break up with him Becaue u can't keep on getting hurt like this..

Answer 10

if you want to be with him, fly over to germany and visit him? its a hard time for him...its his mother.