I am really confused because just last week we were really happy and he bought me a ring for valentines day. We have been together for 3 years and when we went out he would tell strangers that I am his future wife but everything changed when he knew that he is going to get deployed a few months later. He told me that I should return home to live closer to my family when he gets deployed and it would be a good time to break up. When I ask him why he first said that he has always felt a little unhappy in the relationship and later he said that he didn't want to go through seperation again. But when I gave him back the ring he got very upset. I am very confused about what is he thinking and I would like to know if there's anything that I can do for this relationship? Please help!
2007-03-04 12:30:32 · 9 answers · asked by onlykayu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you should step back right now instead of prolonging the heartache. Give yourself some time to clear your thoughts and let him take the time to clear his. I probably would either not answer his calls or keep the conversations short and cordial. Give yourself a head start on the becoming independent of him. Why let yourself wait until he leaves to call a halt to the relationship, just because that is what he considers convenient for him? It's about you too.
2007-03-04 12:41:18 · answer #1 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's confused, too. I have been through a similar experience when I was dating my now-husband of 8 years. We did break up and got back together after the deployment. It's difficult for your BF to commit because of the coming and going in his life. He wants to commit, but being apart is not what people expect out of their relationships. He's also looking out for you. I don't know if I can help, other than to say that if you believe in this relationship, let him know that you're totally committed to him and don't want to break up because of some silly deployment. Your relationship is bigger than something temporary. If he still wants to break up, I would make it clear to him that you are moving on and you're not going to let him come and go with his commitments. Coming and going physically is way different than coming and going emotionally. I have been committed to my soldier for 10 years and it is stronger than ever, so it can be done and done happily. Good luck.
2007-03-04 12:42:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always rough on soldiers going away. A lot of times its a fear thing, he's going to have enough to worry about over there without having a girl at home. As well as he won't see you everyday, but there will always be physical temptations right in front of him.
Right now he's scared and confused, so just keep talking to him and be supportive, he may change his mind he may not. But give him time to work things out.
2007-03-04 12:34:30 · answer #3 · answered by texas hearts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him list the specific reasons that you should break up. He might have a few good reasons, or it could just be fears you could alleviate. It is hard to date someone while they are deployed. It might be better if you both moved on during his deployment and see what happens when he gets back.
2007-03-04 12:35:48 · answer #4 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he loves you still but is worried about leaving you. First off many men who go away never come back and he may not want you to always worry about him. and be able to move on easier if something does happen. Secondly when men leave for war women often leave them because of lonilness, so he may worry that you will cheat or that it wont work out, and he doesnt want it to end like that. I think he is torn because he loves you and doesnt want to hurt you, but he doesnt want to hurt from what could happen when he goes away. I think you need to tell him you want to stand by his side, and be there for him, even though you may not see him for months. Im in a long distance relationship now and i havent seen my man for 8 months, its very tough and extremely lonely but ive done it without cheating and we still love eachother. I think you can convince him to stay with you, because i think he does want to, but he's worried your not as willing. But you have to honestly ask yourself if he is worth it, not as a person but is your relationship worth it, or could you find something better and be fine with it?
2007-03-04 12:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by thop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he doesnt want you to be hurt if something happened to him.....he is going into a war zone n he probably doesnt want you to wait for him but to live your life without worrying about him......he sounds like he really loves you but he's afraid that he wont come back n you will be in pain becuz of him.....ask him why he was so upset becuz of the ring n tell him to be truthful......he wants u to move closer to ur family becuz he wants u to be protected since he wont be there n he wants u t have people that u love close to u........thats what i think
2007-03-04 12:39:16 · answer #6 · answered by lalgita12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him u choose a while to think of each and every little thing over! enable him be attentive to that he's shifting to quickly and ur nonetheless youthful and somewhat don't be attentive to what u choose perfect now. If he somewhat loves u and respects u he will hear and understend ur desires! sturdy success!
2016-10-17 07:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other then getting married no you can ask him for his fpo/apo address while he is deployed you can write to him
2007-03-04 12:35:31 · answer #8 · answered by Denny O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on and stop wasting your time on him
2007-03-04 12:34:22 · answer #9 · answered by lata 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋