The maid of honor in my wedding has an ichthus ("Jesus fish"-- we're Christians) tattooed on her upper back. While I don't have a problem with the tattoo itself, and am fine with her choosing to put it on her body, I'm a little wary about having it show up in my wedding pictures. She mentioned herself having to get cover-up for it, initially, but then seemed to back off, asking me "You don't think it looks tacky, right?" and asking me to ask my fiancee whether or not he cares (he doesn't).
I don't want to hurt her feelings, and she is somewhat high-strung, so should I request that she cover it up or not?
2007-03-04 12:23:32 · 22 answers · asked by courtney 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Note: she didn't have it when I asked her-- even her parents still don't know about it. And being "finicky" is if I tell her to lose it or not be in the wedding. It's just my personal preference.
2007-03-04 12:36:17 · update #1
I can understand your feeling torn about maybe offending your friend over the tattoo. I am pretty sure you won'y have many pictures of her upper back anyway but to make it easier on the both of you, you can speak to your photographer and mention your concern. Often times the photographer will place the wedding party in their spaces for the pictures. He or she will know you do not want tattoos showing and will place your friend in a manner that will not allow the tattoo to be in a photo.
2007-03-04 12:37:44 · answer #1 · answered by whirlwind_123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not rude and if you are uncomfortable with it showing, sit her down and politely break it to her. I always find tattoos destracting when they show in formal attire. If you want one thats fine, not my business, but they aren't always appropriate in certain situations. I was in a wedding a couple years ago where 2 of the bridesmaids had tats on their sholders and all the older people were so focused on that they couldn't tell you a single thing about the wedding...crazy but true. long story short, if you don't like it showing, ask her to get or you go get her some of the scar make-up or whatever covers in the best and go to town on it!
2007-03-04 12:56:40 · answer #2 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its on her back it probably wont make that many appearances in your wedding pictures and if it by chance does, a good photographer can make it disappear easily. It will probably only be in the candid pictures and you can just weed them out.
I personally wouldnt because I think you are asking her to change who she is to suit your wedding and I think thats unfair. If you didnt like her hair color would you ask her to dye it another color or if she was over weight would you ask her to loose some pounds before your big day? Probably not because thats who that person is and to change a part of someone for your own benefit sounds not that great to me.
I would let it be her decision though, if she is newly tatooed and doesnt want her parents knowing, I would guess she will do it on her own.
2007-03-04 13:05:12 · answer #3 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. This one is hard. I have a tattoo on my upper back with significance meaning to myself and my Moms side of the family. I had every intention of covering it for the wedding and then my friends were like... it's important to you and part of who you are so you shouldn't cover it and they have me 88% convinced to leave it uncovered.
If it's on her upper back, it really shouldn't be visible during the pictures, but it will be visible to the guests during the ceremony. For me personally, the ceremony is the only time that i care about whether or not it is seen, and it won' be visible because of my veil, so what about other options. Could she wear a scarf or pashmina or something that would hide it during the ceremony so you aren't really covering her individuality?
2007-03-04 13:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by Dawnita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should tell her, nicely of course. If she is a friend, then it should be no problem.
This is YOUR day. Most women dream of their wedding day all their lives, and will want everything to be the best it can be. Also, everyone will be looking at your wedding photos. I doubt that would be a good way for her parents to find out about the tattoo.
Just tell her how important your wedding day is, and how you want everything to be perfect. And what happens if she doesn't like it later?
She will be remembered by everyone as the girl at the wedding with a tattoo.
2007-03-04 12:51:02 · answer #5 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You knew she had the tattoo when you asked her to be your maid of honor. You also knew the style of dress that you chose would not cover the tattoo. Why are you being so finicky now? Leave her alone. I doubt there will be many pictures of her back in your album.
2007-03-04 12:27:54 · answer #6 · answered by Blue 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I'm not down with the idea of asking people to change things like this for wedding photos. It seems like your editing life for the sake of your photos. I would want my friends to be who they are for my photos. To me that means not asking someone who wears glasses to switch to contacts, no covering up freckles with makeup (unless that's what they normally do) and no hiding tattoos. But that's just my opinion. More importantly, it might hurt her feelings. I know I wouldn't want my maid of honor to feel icky about herself on my wedding day.
2007-03-04 12:32:36 · answer #7 · answered by M L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Asking her to cover it up should be no problem; it's your wedding, your day, and therefore she should have no problem covering her tattoo. However, since she's high strung, you may want to approach the subject cautiously and use tact, as is common sense. Just tell her that you think her tattoo is cool, but you want your wedding day to be perfect and you hope she doesn't think you're being too bridezilla, but would she mind covering up her tattoo?
In the end, it's your wedding and she'll get over it if she somehow gets upset.
2007-03-04 12:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by winterbutterfly1981 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would say that if the tattoo would be hidden, there is a cover up that can cover it. Or if the dress has straps you can have her wear a shawl over it. If it's on her back, it shouldn't really show up in the pictures.
2007-03-04 12:32:06 · answer #9 · answered by WI Wedding Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is she going to cover it up? Think about that before you ask her to cover it up. Have some suggestions that she will like and I think talking to her about it will help. Why does it matter if it shows up in your photos. That is how your frind is, right? You love your friend then it should not matter. Just talk with her.Talking is the key. But friendship is forever, no matter what. Good Luck and Congrats.
2007-03-04 12:29:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋