How do I please both of us?

Question

My boyfriend wants to do something sexual that I do not want to do. This something would make him really happy but I think its disgusting and I have no desire to do it. What do i do to make both of us happy without sacrificing my feelings

since people are sure what the sexual thing is...its anal.

Answer 1

Well first of all, are you sure it would make him happy having you disgusted and uncomfortable. If he delights in your pain or discomfort, maybe you should reconsider the relationship. I personally, get the most satisfaction out of pleasing my partner not harming them or making them uncomfortable nor myself. That just leads to wierdness and a rocky foundation. If you want the relationship to last, the two of you have to mutually respect one another. Once mutual respect is lost, kiss a happy relationship goodbye. Don't lose respect for yourself or your relationship simply for his happiness at the expense of your own. It's not really going to make him happy in the long run, maybe only briefly satisfied. Don't sacrifice what you know you want later for what you think you want now. You know you want mutual respect, you think if you do this it might make him happy. Simple equation. Trust me, this advice comes with a price being my many mistakes choosing what I thought I wanted now, for what I really wanted in the long run. It's not a price worth paying. Better to take the losers advice, which would be mine. And now that I know it's anal, have you ever thought of getting the biggest strap on you can find? And then ask him, ok, who's first?

Answer 2

I hope you two are even planning to get drunk, go through the following: 1. Drink less Make sure that you drink less (well within your limits!), if either of you get too drunk, you will lose the erection which is required for having intercourse 2. Place Select / plan a suitable place for the act where possibly there is no disturbance or distraction to you 3. Protection You both doing in first time, do carry lubricant as it may be required. It does work well with saliva, but she may find it gross so go for lube. Cond0ms, purchase a box of three (three times is more than enough, but you can keep more if you feel so), purchase high quality and thin or super thin one’s. 4. Foreplay foreplay is very much important and you should not just jump and hump. Make sure there is enough foreplay and make her reach to a point where she herself asks you to start, that is the right time to start intercourse. Make it sensual and not like a jail broken rapist tearing her clothes apart 5. Climax before the climax there is a possibility that either or both of you may lose interest / erection in between. In such case be prepared, and take a short break. Start over with foreplay and get back to work again, would not be a problem. Also lookout for comfortable position for both of you because you are going to have a good exercise so make sure you are comfortable enough to stay on for a little longer 6. End If either of you don’t get a climax, do make sure that you satisfy your partner with an orgasm using other techniques, don’t leave each unfinished. When you are done, visit the washroom, clean up, come back and stay naked in each other’s arms on the bed and complement each other on the moves you liked Hope that will be enough! Do share this with your partner so that you both are on the same page. All the best, have loads of fun together!

Answer 3

I tried it once for a boyfriend, and I totally hated it. I'd never do it again.

The thing was, once I let him try it, he kept trying to force me and tell me that he 'needed' it, and that I was being a selfish *****.

Needless to say, he is no longer my boyfriend.

Be careful. Don't do anything you are not comfortable with. I'm sure he wouldn't like to be on the receiving end!

If you do decided to give in to him, make sure you use a LOT of lube and he has to be gentle. You can be seriously messed up for life otherwise.

Answer 4

well, i'm afraid i can't offer a lot of personal insight on this one, since i've never done it, and my bf has never expressed an interest. but, here's some links that might be helpful. maybe if you read up, you can decide if it might be something that you would be willing to experiment with under the right circumstances. in any case, you might get a better understanding of where your bf is coming from and maybe be able to talk to him about it and why you don't want to do it.

i wouldn't worry "making him happy" too much. i think a lot of guys want women to do this, and not suprisingly, a lot of women don't want to lol. then again, according to one of the articles below, 32.6% of women ages 18-44 do it, so maybe it's not all that bad?

article from askmen.com (writen by a woman) - "What Women Love & Hate About Anal Sex":
http://www.askmen.com/love/vanessa/28_love_secrets.html

NY Magazinge: more couples are doing anal
http://nymag.com/nightlife/mating/25988/

sort of a how-to Q&A:
http://www.minou.com/aboutsex/analsex.htm

a book about it for women that got good reviews on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Anal-Sex-Women/dp/1573440280

you might want post this question again with the all the information first time. Usually no one answers questions more than a few minutes old, so you probably won't get any more responses to this one.

Answer 5

I think you need to be a litte more specific with you question.. Because we are going on pretty much nothing. All i can say is if thats the only thing that makes him happy then maybe he isn't the one. But maybe you need to talk to him and tell him that you would feel uncomfortable doin that and you really don't want to and see what he says. If he trully likes you he would understand and drop the subject altogether.

Answer 6

Tell him the truth. You're not ready and maybe you'll never be ready but that you are interested in him enough to help in other ways.

Perhaps you and he need boundaries or limits. Establish safe words that when spoken, are complete and final stopping points. Otherwise, quantify your feelings with your happiness.

-RJ

Answer 7

I'm not sure what you're talking about but it sounds like he wants you to perform oral sex and if you don't want to then don't. I would never ask my girlfriend more than once i mean it's a little ridiculous to press on it.

Answer 8

Make sure he understands how you feel about whatever "it" is. Talk about it. I'm sure between the two of you, you could come up with something new and different that you don't find disgusting. Good luck!

Answer 9

All I can say is don't allow that. You could get a terrible infection as it sounds
like he's done this before. Please dump him he's scary and disgusting. Don't
lower your standards to his which are in the gutter.

Answer 10

Girl, don't ever do something thaty disguist you. I think you need to explain to him how you feel and if he still pushes the issue then you know that he is really there for sexual pleasure and not for love!