A duck walks into a pub
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck"!
"I see you're eyes are working" replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.
"I see you're ears are working" says the duck, "now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly," says the landlord, " sorry about that, it's just we don't get many talking ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck.
So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for about 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ring leader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him: "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!"
"Sounds marvellous" says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call, he could earn thousands"
So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The landlord says,"Hey Mr Duck I reckon I can line you up with a top job. Paying really good money!"
"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"
"At the circus" says the landlord.
"The circus?" the duck enquires.
"That's right" replies the landlord.
"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?"
"That's right!" says the landlord
The duck looks confused. "What the hell do they want with a plasterer?"
2007-03-04 09:59:32 · 37 answers · asked by Tink 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
FAD . . . . . . Funny as DUCK! Lol! see what i did there - duck - fu@k!! Clever eh?!? :)
2007-03-08 00:45:47 · answer #1 · answered by Jay A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
10/10
2007-03-09 04:13:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant as always 10/10
2007-03-10 19:18:32 · answer #3 · answered by newciderman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
outstanding. a salesclerk knocked on the door of a house in a sparkling housing progression and a lady responded the door. He began, "Ma'am, i'm promoting the newest innovation in vacuums, that is the most excellent little device I have considered in a lengthy time period," and with that, he proceeded to unload on her new carpet a mixture of ketchup, salsa, dirt, grape juice, etc. as she watched, horrified. He stated, "If this vacuum would not freshen up that mess, i will devour it!" She stated, "do you want a fork?! we've not were given the means on yet!"
2016-10-17 10:16:34 · answer #4 · answered by knudsen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good 1
2007-03-11 07:31:19 · answer #5 · answered by **ZARA** 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As my son is in the 'building trade' we are going to get a lot of mileage out of this one...
2007-03-04 10:11:27 · answer #6 · answered by franja 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good one Tink.!!!
10/10.!!!
xxx
2007-03-04 17:29:03 · answer #7 · answered by JAM123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahahahaha.nice joke.now thats funny.nice one.10/10:)
2007-03-04 10:20:05 · answer #8 · answered by Gorgeous George 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, loved it! Thanx lol
2007-03-04 10:04:33 · answer #9 · answered by mistickle17 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that was a great joke i crying here with laughter good one keep it up
2007-03-04 10:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by dd 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋