Any advise on how to handle visitation with a 3 yr old boy?

Question

My fiance works out of town for a week on, week off. He is supposed to get visitation to his 3 yr old son every two months for one month. His son lives in IL, we're in WY. Problem is, when my fiance is working, his son is in my care 100% of the time. I'm going back to work soon because we're pregnant and could use some extra money. My question is, does any body have GOOD advise on what we should do about visitation. We don't think it would be fair to bring him home for a month if we won't be able to spend time with him, plus while he's here or not we have to pay child support, and if he was home while we were working we would have to put him in day care too and we cannot afford that. We want to see him, but we're confused about what's best for him. please only give good, positive advise. Thanks!

Did i mention, we cannot afford for me to stay home? We have to pay cash for the baby, not something many people have to do.

Answer 1

That's a tough one. Maybe you could talk to the mother about changing the schedule to fit yours. Do you have a family member that could babysit him for you when you go back to work?
He probably really wants to spend time with his Daddy, maybe your Fiance could talk to his work about changing things up for the month when he has him.
good luck
and Congrats on the baby on the way!

Answer 2

Seeing his dad is definitely important so not having the visitation isn't an option.

How far away does your fiancee work? Is he able to commute everyday? Can he take his son with him and find a childcare provider that will take him on a part time basis? If you ask around it is amazing the help you can find.

Do you qualify for state assitance with childcare? They may be able to help you out with the cost. How about family members? Any grandparents or other family willing to help you out?

How about a job that you can take him with you? Maybe cleaning houses or at a childcare center.

Can you get a night job? Or a job that has shift work so you have the options of working nights? This way on weeks that you have him alone you may have better luck finding a sitter. You could find a responsable teenager to care for him that would only cost a little bit. This is only for 8 weeks out of the year that you need help. And, if you have the baby then you'll have some time off then which is fortunate.

I would also get a lawyer and see what your options are in terms of child support. You shouldn't have to pay support for months that he is with you.

Does he go to daycare when he is at his mothers? Does he enjoy coming and visiting? If not, then maybe the whole situation needs to be reevaluated. I would never make him come and be miserable. He needs to come and spend time with his father. It is so important to children. They really miss their parents.

What is going to happen when he starts kindergarten? It will be here so soon. Will he spend summers at your home?

Maybe your husband should look into finding a different job. One that allows him to be home more often. Is there anyway to move a little closer to IL?

Think positively. There is ALWAYS a solution. Remember that the little boy is the one caught in the middle. He deserves to see both of his parents. They are only little for such a short time. And don't be afraid to ask for help! Ask friends, neighbors, church members...people love to help. Good Luck. SD

Answer 3

I am not judging by any means..just my opinion. Sounds like whatever job your fiance has isn't a "fantastic" position if you have to pay cash for you baby's birth. No insurance? My suggestion would be to move closer to the child so that visitation is a litle more reasonable. I'm not saying you have to move to the same town but closer mileage. Research the type of work your husband does in an area closer to his son and go from there. I am a step-mom of two children now 10 and 14. They were 1 and 4 when I came into their lives. We now live one hour from them and visitaion works well. It is VERY important that your fiance stay in his life at ANY cost, this might mean making a geographical change to benefit his kiddo. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Honey, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not your decision to make. This is your fiance's son and it is his decision 100% at this time and up until you are married. Do not let him shuffle this resposibility on to you as it is not fair to you, the new baby or the little boy. Seems like you are the only one making concessions, changes and decisions that are going to affect everyone. A marriage is two people and you do not want to be in the middle of a situation should something not work out with the little boy. You are pregnant and your focus needs to be on you and the new baby you are carrying. I am very sure you love the 3 year old, but right now he is your fiance's responsibility, not yours. Now, stand up for yourself and draw a line or you will be a rug mat for the rest of your life. Good luck and God Bless!!!

Answer 5

Maybe shoten his visitation...just one week a month every month or something. He has to go to school in a couple of years anyway so might as well make him more established with his mother if thats where he is gonna go to school.

Don't mean to sound harsh but you are defiantly gonna have to find a easy way to tell all this to his mom. She is going to think that you are pregnant and now you are pushing her son out of the picture. I can almost hear what she is gonna say....Well if your working you will have to put your child in daycare so whats the difference.

Maybe if she isn't happy about a new arraingment you can convince her to cough up some of that child support to help pay for daycare 2 weeks every other month...GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 6

You'll have to weigh which is better for the child: changing the visitation schedule, keeping it the same. Working and paying for childcare, or staying home with him.

The 3 year old didn't choose this situation so try to make it easy on him.

Answer 7

Gee one would have thought you'd wait until you were financially prepared to have a baby, which would have been the logical thing to do. So you have no money and are bringing another child into the world...great...poor kid. I have no advice to give because the only advice I would have given is moot now. (Don't make babies) I guess the only thing to do would be to wait until you both are financially able to spend time with this child in order for his father to visit him. Sad for the little guy and I'd hate to be the one to have to tell him that his father can't see him because his father has no money...but you'll just have to do what you have to do...

Answer 8

i could state your case and go away it to a prefer to settle on. i'm advantageous he's in simple terms attempting to get that replaced so as that he would not could desire to pay newborn help. If he has did no longer ensue for any of his ordinary visits make advantageous that the court docket is acquainted with that and whether he has been making the youngster help money on time. that's recommended to get the advice of an criminal expert in this - bypass to criminal help in case you won't be able to arise with the money for one. additionally, have any newborn help paid interior the process the court docket quite than just to you as a results of fact if he's making an attempt this, he's additionally puzzling to collect the youngster help from and the chum of the court docket could have techniques of having that money from him which you do no longer. If the present contract replaced into set up with the help of the court docket quite than the two one in all you it is not that possibly that they are going to alter that now.