i live with my boyfriend and my one year old baby at his mum and dads house (im also due to have another baby in June). I feel really ill at the moment due to the stress of living with his parents who are not particularly easy to get on with. only today his dad blew up at me and was really nasty to me because i asked him why he had let the baby wander onto the stairs when he was supposed to be watching him. after its all calmed down they expect me to carry on as normal and i cant coz he has said some horrible things to me and i really dislike the man. His mum pretends to sit on the fence but she just wants the baby here. i want to get out now...but where would i go?
2007-03-04 09:22:20 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you feel like you are being abused (even emotionally not physically), a womans shelter will help you. Call your local womans shelter and see what they can do for you.
It is sad your boyfriend is not man enough to take care of you properly.
2007-03-04 09:30:54 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, separate your problems. One thing is your living arrangement with your in-laws, and quite another is your relationship with your baby's father.
I lived similar problems when I just got married, 15 years ago. I was in your boyfriend's position and couldn't handle it well. My wife couldn't handle it either and it was disastrous for our 2 kids. We have been divorced for a long time. Now we both wish we had the maturity then to solve a solvable problem.
Living with you in-laws is ALWAYS A PROBLEM. You and your boy friend must try to change the situation, even if it means living in a not so nice home or neighborhood. Talk to him, but do it very lovingly. Look together for a solution. Don't demand a solution from him because he might not be able to provide it alone and he will feel frustrated and inadequate as a man and as a father. That would make him aggressive towards you.
About your relationship with your baby's father: try to separate the in-laws problem and focus on your mutual love. Don't put your boyfriend in the position in which he has to choose between you and his parents. You have to be very smart and mature here! Your two baby's future happiness depends on that! Emotionally, it will be more difficult for him. You are on the driver's seat. Good luck and God bless you.
2007-03-04 09:45:20 · answer #2 · answered by Hueving 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad news first kiddo.
These people are in your life for the rest of your life. You have already supplied one grandchild and there is another on the way. Yikes!
Okay, what can be done? First of all, speak to your boyfriend. After all, he is the reason why you are there. Ask him what can he do to help. The obvious solution is that you and your family need a place of your own, but will also need the support of the grandparents because raising children is bloody hard work.
I guess you don't have the money for buying a flat? If you do, go for it. If you don't, then its time to approach the local council for a council house / flat; because you really need your space.
Consult the local Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB), because the solution is to move out.
2007-03-04 09:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by 13caesars 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you not get onto the local authority about getting a house of your own. Do you not have relatives of your own that you vcan stay with for a while? You could always say that you were trying to give his parents a break for a while.
Whatever happens, go nowhere without the baby. They sound like people that would hold onto him & say you abandoned him.
2007-03-04 09:33:48 · answer #4 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go an get a house..you dont need that, epc why your due to hav a new baby..have you spoke to your boyfriend about you feel? tell him him its not workin out.. if not have you got a friends house you can stay over or mayb your mums an dads? good luck
2007-03-07 03:30:13 · answer #5 · answered by miss shy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your boyfriend to sort out his finances and get you and your children a family home - I lived with my mother in law for 2 years and if I didn't leave when I did I would have been sent to prison - it just doesn't work out. Get a rented house or speak to the council (if you are in UK) and get them to house you
2007-03-04 09:31:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cant u tell ur doctor or midwife say u are depressed about the situation they can give you a letter to take to the council it goes a long way with one child and one on the way they have to help u give it a go they will help.
2007-03-08 08:13:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go tell your folks and your boyfriend, and if nobody helps then go to a shelter until things get sorted, or you can take some sort of initiative and put laxative in all their food for revenge sakes and a laugh, they arent taking care of the baby properly, the stars? what if anything had happened! tell your parents! tel your bf tell the laxatives!
2007-03-04 11:01:12 · answer #8 · answered by Chunkylover53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wheres your mum in all this? your hormones are all over the place, and i don think youre in any fit state to think about moving out unless to a relative who can support and care for you, wait till babys born and that is the time to make decisions, i wish you all the best
2007-03-04 22:34:42 · answer #9 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I appreciate that you are in a difficult position and it is essential that you seek advice as soon as possible.
It is probably best to speak to your local Citizens Advice Bureau, which you can find through the following link:
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/index/getadvice
They are impartial and will advise you of your rights, especially in a situation which is complex in terms of your relationship and your current housing situation
Here is a link for the CItizens Advice Bureau guide on accommodation.
http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/family_parent/housing/finding_accommodation.htm#Local_authority_help_for_homeless_people
2007-03-04 09:34:25 · answer #10 · answered by scareyd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋