He doesn't pay child spt. He owes 12,000. He collects SSI (hes dependent on the state) He lives in a 1 bedroom apt building which is n't recommended for children. My son doesn't know this guy from Adam. Will the judge give him joint custody. He hasn't done a thing for him ever in life. My son is on a daily routine at home and school. Would a judge upset the balance? Please advise
2007-03-04 07:42:43 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My son doesn't know who he is and he owes us 12,000 in child support which the state CANT collect from him because he receives a different type of SSI monthly allotment (state law). He resides in a 1 bedroom building which isn't recommended for children. (I spoke to landlord) This guy is an absolute loser. Any lawyers out there reading this-is it possible that a judge would grant joint custody or just maybe some sort of visitation. My son doesn't even know how this guy looks. Any advice from people who have gone thru this? Please help
2007-03-04 08:22:41 · update #1
If the judge is in his right mind, he won't. My friend's daughter's biological sperm donor, abandoned her daughter for 1 year and the judge terminated his rights. Be sure that you get yourself a lawyer if you haven't already. I hope everything works out for you. Oh yeah, I am also under the impression that if they are over $10,000 behind in child support, they can do time in prison. Don't quote me on that, but I think it might be the case.
2007-03-11 19:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by Angels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is old enough that a judge will ask him how he feels about the entire situation, he will also ask if your child as any intrest in being alone with this man because that is was he his in the eyes of your son. Belive or not the courts do worry about the best intrest of the child if you can prove that this guy has not been in the child life at all its even a better case for you the fact that he is in debt for 12,000 in child support really doesn't tell me much because your child is a eleven that means more or lease depending on the state that he hasn't paid support for about two years you have to prove your case. How does your son feel about the hole idea?
2007-03-04 08:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by a_bug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that your son is now old enough to have an opinion of whether he wants to see his Dad, but the first thing the state would do is try to collect the child support he owes....and having been that long out of his life, I doubt he could get joint custody.
You could always move further away, which would make it harder....and in seven years your child will be totally an adult.
Maybe you can advise your child to wait until he is grown and on his own and then he can decide if he wants to go visit him, since his father has had no interest up to now.
2007-03-10 18:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by samantha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely not. My husband has a daughter who turns 12 this year and her mother put her into foster care. We tried desperately to get his daughter this included classes and visits from social services criminal checks, references from friends, interviews with our other children's doctors. And after all this she(the daughter)said she didn't want to come. This all happened when she was 10 we were told we could keep trying but, with the back log in the system by the time we would get to court she would be over 12 and they wouldn't make her come as she would get her choice. Now because he doesn't pay does not give you the right not to allow him to see his son. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT there are some judges that will throw out all child support obligations if you deny visitation. If you deny visitation it puts you as the bad guy this is one of those times when you have to bend over backwards to be the good guy but, you can insist it is supervised as the man is a stranger to the child. In these cases it is best going in with the defence I have done all I possibly can yet, he still doesn't come and doesn't pay rather than with a defence of he doesn't pay so he gets nothing.If it looks like the judge is going to give joint suggest visitation with supervision that will lead to joint after the case has been looked at again after a suitable time for observation(which should make your son 12 and able to decide)
2007-03-04 07:57:12 · answer #4 · answered by emmandal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every judge is different, but they all have to abide within the laws of your state. Child support will not be a factor in the decision unfortunately for you. What will be a factor is his motive, as well as his living arrangements. He's going to need a bigger place to be able to support his son.
Perhaps he should begin with some visits .... make the offer yourself, so it can be on your terms. Let him come to your home or to a good meeting place, like McDonalds, and let them visit.
Edit: Let me add that what the man has done to you in the past and his lack of support will not be important to the judge. The judge is going to act in the best interests of your son, not you. I really am not trying to be mean to you, just honest. Remember the judge doesn't hold the same disgust for him that you do :)
2007-03-04 08:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just so happens that the same thing happened to my daughter & my gr.son. Never saw the poor little guy, then out of no where ... he wants to be involved. He is treated by my son in law, the same as he treats his own son... also my gr.son. The court allowed him visitation in spite of the fact. The " father " saw him 3 x's. My 11 yr.old gr.son is now not only confussed, hurt & very angry. He is now showing his anger by acting out at school & has had his grades drop, dramatically. He cries to me & says things like " Nana, what's wrong with me that my real daddy dosn't love me? " I advise to make sure, the court will appoint a guardian at lightem, sp? ( atty that is just for your son ) make sure he knows about all you said. If the ex is on SSI, shouldn't your son be getting some form of pymts as well? Check with SSI, if he isn't. For the sake of you & your little guy, I pray the judge is smarter than the one my daughter had. Fight with all your might, upset the balance? His world will be turn upside down. My prayers are with you. Marie
2007-03-04 08:23:09 · answer #6 · answered by Marie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you tell a lawyer and the court about what you put here he shouldn't give him joint custody but thats up to the judge but i believe they'll look where he is behind on child support and the judge might not let him have him because he wouldn't have a bed room for your son i believe the judge will give you full custody and he might be in trouble for not paying child support you need to talk to a lawyer
2007-03-12 05:16:13 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no I dont really think the judge will do anything for him except to
#1- Make him pay the bck child support and
#2- MAYBE give him supervised visitation with a social worker in a public place.......but I dont know that he would even do that.
Since your son is 11....a court liaison might ask what he wants...I know when my parents divorced when I was 15, and my bro was 11 we were asked who we wanted to live with by a court liaison.... But that was a different situation since we actually knew our dad...my guess would be to not worry too much about this.
2007-03-04 07:51:00 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
joint custody only means that he can make decisions for the child like for school or in case of a medical emergency. you still would have physical custody of the child although he would get visitation rights. and if he is collecting ssi, child support should automatically come out of his checks to pay for child support. that's how they did it to my wife first hubby.
2007-03-04 07:50:55 · answer #9 · answered by george 2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they should actually get to know each other ( the son and dad) normally first before he actually can get joint custody. It's also not fair because the boy has known you all his life and one day his dad shows up. I don't think he should have joint custody.
2007-03-04 08:07:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋