I just wanted some feed back on this... I am a single mom and I think I am just about ready to get back out there and give the dating thing a try. It feels like it's been forever and now everything is so different being a mom. I wonder if I should tell a guy immediately that I have children, or is it best to get a feel for someone first. I don't want to waste anybody's time, but on the other hand, what if I chase away someone that might be prefectly fine with it once they get to know me. Any imput is appreciated...
2007-03-04 07:29:59 · 29 answers · asked by happydayz_hereforgood 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the best thing would probably be to tell them sometime on the first date. some guys will be scared off, but that's ok because no matter how great of a person they are, if they are not willing to deal with you kid(s), then they shouldn't be brought into that situation. you don't want to be with someone that will not love you and your child(ren). they are part of the package that the other person has to accept. if you tell some one and they stay around then they are worth seeing again. but i might not introduce him to your kid(s) right away, wait until you feel sure that you, your kid(s), and the person you are dating is ready. i think it is best to tell them on the first date, that way you are not keeping an important part of your life from the person you date and when you do tell them later in the relationship they won't feel like if you were lying to them. it is best to have an open relationship that is built on trust and communication.
2007-03-04 07:43:01 · answer #1 · answered by mrkramer5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll try to be as honest and candid as I can be.
Yes
Most guy don't want the baggage that comes with the girl.
Why did the first relationship fail? Was she too controling or demanding, or did she step out on the other guy? Or was the other guy an idiot that will be part of the childs life forever and will have to be delt with.
Most girls will never let the new guy be the Father of the child from the previous relationship, at least not really
2007-03-04 07:36:20 · answer #2 · answered by Delphi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best to be up front about it right from the start. Why waste your time on guys that have a problem with you having a child? You might have to watch a few run for the hills, before you find one that doesn't have a problem with it. Just make sure that you protect yourself and your child from these guys until you can be fairly confident about their character. Don't let your child get attached to them until you're sure he's gonna stick around. Having people come into their life, and then suddenly leave can be very upsetting and confusing for a child.
2007-03-04 07:38:27 · answer #3 · answered by dathinman8 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a single mum when I met my now husband & yes it does put some guys off but only those who wouldn't be any good for me & my son anyway.
I would always recommend telling the truth from the very beginning because anyone put off by me being a single parent obviously would never be a good, decent daddy to my child.
You can't just consider you & the guy in this cos whoever you end up with will be daddy to your child so your first priority must always be to only settle for a guy you like if he is willing & able to be a daddy to your child.
2007-03-04 07:37:23 · answer #4 · answered by madamspud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A better question would be how to tell if a man would be a good father to your children. That is infinitely more important then if he'd still want you if he found out you had kids!
There ARE many guys out there who would be honored to raise your kids. And there are some you wouldn't want to have anywhere near your kids. Best to tell him, but not introduce him to the kiddos until you know him well. You don't want the children having boyfriends hopping in and out of their lives. You also wouldn't want someone raising your kids if they don't want to - that would be a horrible mistake.
2007-03-04 07:43:21 · answer #5 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,there are alot of immature guys that can't handle the fact that being a mommy is a responsibility & U can't just stop what your doing all the time because he wants attention,but...I get asked out alot & I have 3 kids & I'm 36 so don't worry.I know the difference between a player & a good man.IM if U like HAPPYDAYZ
2007-03-04 07:38:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's a bad situation for the daughter, yet it's a very good opportunity for you.
sorry to make it sound like a cheesy tv executive, and sleazebag in general, but if two women are on the market that would:
1. be a great sitcom America will love and will be adapted to other countries (argentina, mexico, brazil, greece, ukraine) just like that unbearable sitcom starring Fran Drescher. just think of all the royalties!
2. most guys regardless of age will go for the mother because they are less nervous and inhibited like the daughter.
2007-03-04 07:44:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think single moms are sexy, it shows strength and maturity which alot of men find sexy. I say be upfront with the guy and if he runs away hes just a flat out ***. The right guy wont have a problem with you being a single mom. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-03-04 07:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by Steelr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
surely the person would like you for you and not whtehr you are a single mom, just dont do what this one girl did in our town she use to use men a 'the baby sitters club' every six months she would have a new guy and a new baby sitter the poor child was introduced to so many new faces who were only there for a short while, which is not very stabilising.
2007-03-04 07:33:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a nurse and a single parent also. You are worth someone who is worthy of your time. There is someone for every one, seek your hearts desire. Don't look to hard, he will come to you. Hang in there and if a man is scared away, he wasn't good for you anyway. Take care and all the best, hang in there you will meet your soul mate sooner than you think.
2007-03-04 07:35:20 · answer #10 · answered by nursey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋