When we women catch our men cheating, why do we go after the woman instead of our man?

Question

So many of my friends catch their men cheating but chooses to go fight the woman instead of their man. Meanwhile these men are usually watching and laughing. How do I get it across to my friends that they need to beat the SH** out of HIM and move on!!! Forget the other woman.

I have told them time and time again but they just don't get it!!! How do I get through?

Answer 1

You can't.
And they need to forget HIM as well as the other woman.
Walking away from both of them is the best way to show your contempt.

Answer 2

Men do the same thing when there women cheat. They go after the guy instead of immediatly breaking it off with the woman. I think that it is because people are confused and hate to admit that it is something that they did or didn't do that drove the person to cheat. They would rather assume that the person that they cheated with lured them into it. However, the cheater made the decision to do it. That's what people don't pick up on. If the cheater wasn't getting something from their mate then they should have had the decency to break up or talk about it. Also because people have developed feelings for the person they want to believe that it can be worked out and that the outside person is the threat to getting things back to normal. Yeah Right! Tupac once said (loosely translated) "Whenever u go to a funeral and see a man lying in the casket, if u just look back at the day before you will find that it was because some girl was being sexually permiscuous." Of course he didn't say it like that but it's exactly what u are saying. People go after the outside party instead of the cheater themselves.

Answer 3

I agree with you 100%, it's the man who made the commitment to the woman, and it's he who is responsible for staying faithful to her. The woman has a right to be pissed at the other woman if the other woman was a friend or something, but if it's just some woman... she never made any promises. It's the man who is at fault, and he was gonna do it no matter who the woman was.
But the emotions toward the bf/husband are far more complicated. She loves him, and she's emotionally hurt, likely humiliated, and angry. I think as an impulse she lashes out at the other woman because her emotions about her are not so complicated. In the long run, I think she realizes that her man did wrong... or at least if she has a clue she does! Chances are, if he did it once, he'll do it again... dump him!

Answer 4

That's a damned good question! I think it's because many women have the distorted view that "all men cheat" and that it's natural for a man to screw around. So, they don't blame the man, they blame the other woman.

Of course, many men don't cheat at all, so that idea that "all men cheat" is false!

You're right, your friends shouldn't be mad at the other woman (after all, she's single, she can do whatever she wants) and instead, they should be beeting the sh1t out of their man instead (he's the one that violated a comitment to her!)

Answer 5

I don't think you'll ever get it thru. Men are the same way. They tend to blame the other guy. Although its usually a guy who comes on to the woman. I look at it like this...if the woman or man cheats on you....they wern't worth having to start with. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

Answer 6

If I were to catch my husband cheating on me with some other woman I would honestly want to physically hurt this woman. He is my husband, I love him and trust him. I would want to hear his side of the story before hers (if ever) wether it be good or bad. I am really in love with my husband, therefore no matter what he does or how much he hurts me I would never want to beat the sh!t out of him. It is better to see if things can be worked out between me and him then it is getting revenge on the *****

Great question, Have a great day.
PINK ELLIE

Answer 7

Myself, I think that the notion of gender betrayal is at the heart of this problem. Instead of whaling the tar out of Jack, women usually go after the woman he slept with because they think she should have known better.

Of course, there's always the theory that the one who was slept behind goes after the female part because the male's bigger and stronger... But that's an individual thing, since not all women are the "weak prissy" type. (To me, the "strong, tough" type is better. It's an incentive not to mess around...)

Answer 8

I don't know why this normally happens but you could start by telling them that the woman is more than likely just as in the dark about things as she is. And probably didn't know anything about her either so why get mad at the woman because even if it still takes 2 to tango.

Answer 9

I just think it is because we all know men are dogs and what they are thinking about all the time. We figure that girls would act just like us and back us up that cheating is wrong. So when we see another girl we are like how could you do that when he had a girlfriend I mean us girls have to stick together. I know it's the guy's fault but maybe too by blaming the guy we are saying there is something wrong with us for not looking out for him and for him wanting to leave us for someone else. Almost like it is our fault.

Answer 10

well i guess the women fight the other woman because she feels that the other woman is the cause of everything but personally i would beat the **** out of him then kick him out my house and go on with my life and never think about him again

Answer 11

I think maybe its because they woul rather believe that their man was ambushed by some vicious seductress than acknowledge the fact that he may have strayed of his own will and asd for your friends they are going to believe what they want regardless so yourt better off leaving them to their own devices because talking till your blue in the face most likely won't cjange their perception of what they believe happened Good Luck Girl ;-)