I am 22 years old and currently planning my wedding/reception. I do like to drink as do my friends. Not excessively, however, I do want alcohol at my reception. My mother whom is paying for the majority oft he wedding does not want alcohol at it at all. We disagree completely with this. I am afraid that my friends will leave the reception if they aren't having fun. We will be serving only finger foods also which makes me cautious that they will leave for a meal somewhere else.
At the location of the reception is at a country club in which has a full bar available. My mother said that the guests would have to purchase their own alcoholic beverages themselves at the bar.
Do you think this will put a bad taste in my guests mouth? Do you think this will be okay?
What is your opinion on this?
2007-03-04 06:14:53 · 18 answers · asked by Kiki_white 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
When I go to a wedding, I am there to celebrate the event with the couple. I'm not there for a meal or drinks. Whatever is served/offered is just a bonus. Aside from wedding cake and some sort of beverage, people should not expect any more if they are truly your friends. Many weddings are cash bars if a guest absolutely has to drink. Some people offer free beer and wine but have to pay for other drinks. The problem with unlimited free alcohol is that some people will order drinks they normally will not drink(because it's free) or set their drink down and just know they can get another one. Those who are your friends are not going to leave because there are only finger foods and no alcohol. And be grateful you have a mom that is helping you financially as there are those of us who don't even have that. Enjoy your wedding and don't worry about the guests.
2007-03-04 06:25:56 · answer #1 · answered by abbacat 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If your mother is paying for it, then she technically does have a say, however it is your wedding. Try and talk to her about it. What is her problem with the open bar? Some places might not give you a choice. For example, at the reception place I booked for my wedding, picking a bar package was required.
Find out what her issues with the open bar are, does she just not want to pay for it? If it's something she doesn't mind you paying for, and you want it bad enough, you could put the money in for that part.
2007-03-06 04:11:41 · answer #2 · answered by Colleen Cook 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should offer an open bar the first two hurs and cash bar after that. This would get the party started and if people wanted to continue to drink, they can buy their own drinks. I had this problem when i was planning my wedding and my husband picked up the tab for the reception hall, just so we can serve alcohol, because it was against my parent wishes and if they were paying, we wasnt going to have alcohol. and i am only 22 also.
2007-03-05 03:44:29 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right or wrong, drinking is a big part of a wedding celebration. Your guests are going to be disappointed if there is no open bar. Having a cash bar is VERY tacky. We went to a cash bar 6 years ago and my husband's friends are still talking about it. However, I think it depends on where you live. I live in NJ and a cash bar is wrong, but my girlfriend grew up outside Boston and she had never gone to a wedding with an open bar until she moved to Jersey.
2007-03-04 09:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by Level Headed, I hope 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have been to dry receptions before and to be honest with you each of them have had their incidents where people have brought in their own alcohol and people got offended. People expect to drink in these situations its kind of a like a ritual. If you know that your friends are going to leave early or it isn't going to be the reception you had in mind you are going to have to work out a plan of how you can change it.
With out the alcohol though people, especially young ones, do plan on leaving early and make additional plans for afterwards. I don't think that a cash bar is completely offensive but often there is at least beer provided or an open bar for a short period of time. That at least lightens the end of the night tabs and also makes people a little more comfortable with paying later on.
What is your mom's reason behind not having alcohol? Is it because she can not afford to provide it or is a conflict morally? If its money maybe if you say you will pay for it she will be more open minded. If its moral you need to decide how important it is to push an issue like that.
I am currently planning my wedding and it kind of sounds like your mom is controlling decisions that are not going to make you happy. Make sure you are planning an event that is what you have always wanted. I often find myself trying to please others but then I find myself thinking I am going to dread that on my wedding day it can't happen.I don't to have a bunch of little decisions I let slide by overwhelm me on my wedding day.Though your mom is paying make sure you express to her what is important to you, and make a back up plan to provide what you would like instead! Maybe if you say you are going to pay for an open bar for an hour she will decide to help instead of fight it. Or maybe you can find someone close to your mom who can express to her why you feel that way and they can back it up. I get really defensive about things when my mom disagrees and I am not very effective so sometimes I give my sister to express what I am thinking so it doesn't come out quite so harsh.
Good Luck and Best Wishes!
2007-03-04 06:55:21 · answer #5 · answered by sdzunk 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Cash bars are tacky. I would suggest providing beer and wine. It's not that expensive either.
I did have an open bar at my wedding and it was great! Definitely NOT a waste of money. It allowed those who wanted to drink to do it for free, and for those who did not want alcohol, there were other options available (i.e. tea, water, sodas).
2007-03-04 13:52:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think a cash bar is a good idea. Guests come to a wedding expecting that they will be taken care of for the evening (dinner, drinks, cake, etc.) Personally, I have gone to weddings without even bringing a wallet. Asking them to pay for their drinks is tacky.
2007-03-04 09:05:49 · answer #7 · answered by NoTurningBackNow 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can count on 1 finger how many weddings I have gone to with an open bar. It is not unusual at all to expect the guests to purchase their own "adult" beverages at a wedding.
2007-03-04 07:13:19 · answer #8 · answered by Pandora 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No cash bar. If you can't host a full open bar, then have nothing.
Girl, you should be paying for the wedding yourself with your man! Sheesh.... how immature!
Save up so you and your guy can have the type of wedding reception you want!
2007-03-04 08:30:47 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have never agreed with the no alcohol and making people pay for their drinks. thats just rude. do you charge friends for drinks when they come over to visit? no so why do it now. I served my friends and family drinks at my wedding. we skimped on things like wedding favors and a photographer so we could serve everyone. they were our guests there for us. If I got invited to a wedding where I had to buy my drinks I wouldnt give a gift. If I have to put out money for someone elses special occasion so they can save money then I'm not aobut to give them mine. tell your mom you'll do it your way.
2007-03-04 10:38:55 · answer #10 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋