I am terribly spoiling my children ? Is this badd ?

Question

I have a two year old and a nine month old daughter. I am 28 years old ; married ; and my husband is a lawyer ; and so am I. My daughters only have juicy couture. Even my littler one. They each have 5 pairs of uggs and my two year old has a 2 chanel bags and 6 coach bags. I find that I can afford it just fine so should I continue to buy them these things or should I stop ?

Note : my children aren't screamers. My two year doesn't ask for anything ; i myself get her all the stuff I think she wants.

HELP ! ?

Answer 1

At their ages, your daughters are not the ones who care if they are sporting juicy couture. From your example, though, they will learn to be materialistic.

Answer 2

Yes! You are spoiling your children.If you continue this you will be sorry .Kids are spoiled enough as it is. I can afford these things also. I am a RN and my husband is a Dentist.You are setting up your children to have unrealistic expectations in life. Why are you doing this? I don't know what part of the country you are living in? But does your peer group treat their children the same way? Do you save any money or spend it to keep up with the other families ? Do you see this as a status symbol? Are you trying to give them things you never had as a child? You should put this money you are spending on designer clothes in a 529 college saving plan. A much better gift would be a college education that is completely paid for. Do you and your husband have a retirement fund? Are you a shopaholic? Do you have a career to fall back on if you get a divorce.? The rate of divorce is 50% in the US. For you own good stop it now. They are still young and the damage has not been done yet. I make my older children work for everything they get and they value things more. My daughter is a honor student,takes theater and is. a overall good child most of the time. She still wants expensive things but I make her earn them. I give her $100 cash with each report card and if at the end of this year her grades are still on the Honor Roll I will get her a Nintendo Wii. Good Luck I hope you take this seriously.

Answer 3

I am not sure exactly what you want 'help' with- by the wording of your question, you seem to be okay with what oyu are doing.

Personally, I don't think it is the "stuff" that a child has that makes them spoiled- I know children with all the latest expensive things and they are in no way spoiled and I know children with very little but are serious brats.

Here is what you need to ask yourself:

Do your children have a real appreciation for what they have - do they take good care of what they have and not take for granted what happens in order for them to have these things?

Are the things more important than people, do they show compassion and caring for people- if they had a friend who had little money and ratty shoes, would they give them one of their pairs- do they feel the need to hold on to all of their "stuff" or is helping others and caring for others more important. (Not saying they should give it all away and certainly there are times when it is not appropriate to give to someone seemingly "needy" but are they learning discernment and compassion and the value of people or is it all aobut the value of stuff?

Can they take no for an answer? Obviously you can afford to give them what they want or what you want them to have, not a big deal, but if for some reason you had to say no- could they accept that? Are you preparing them for the real world where sometimes even the rich are not able to get what they want and have to learn to deal with rejection and not getting what they want gracefully?

When it comes to friends and family, are your children givers or takers- though they are not screamers, do they expect something all the time or are they balanced- are they able to give without expectation

Remember you are building character- it is the character of the child that makes them spoiled or not, not the stuff they have or dont have

Answer 4

yes i think that's to much,you are setting a pattern that they will expect to live by the rest of their lives.what if when they grow up and can't afford it themselves are you and daddy always going to continue to pay for everything?Or say your situations change and you can no longer afford it what then? Nobody has any guarantees for the future why not put the money you are blowing on material things away for their schooling or for the future in case something would happen or come up?And as far as being screamers whats that to do with anything all children are different.But i can guarantee 1 thing if you continue this way when they are a little older the will ask for everything and then become screamers if you don't give into their whines, best wishes

Answer 5

Your children are too young to know, or appreciate what you're doing. So why don't you stop NOW before you create two dysfunctional people, who will never be able to deal with real life? They will grow up thinking everyone should cater to them as you have, and their lives will be filled with disappointment. Spoiled kids aren't nice kids, and they don't grow up to be nice people!!.
If you truly love your children, raise them in a loving, safe environment. That's what children need more than anything. Many parents love their children like you do, but aren't able to give them the necessities of life. Why don't you help these children? You will be setting a good example for your children. Also, save for their college education, and your retirement. That way, they won't be a burden on you, and you won't be a burden on them.
Your financial status can easily change, so do this while you can.

Answer 6

it's bad. while they don't understand it now, you have to teach them to appreciate money. While it's something that may come very easily to you, EVERYONE needs to appreciate that money doesn't grow on trees, and when they get older, they will out and out DEMAND these expensive things. Plus, while it my be important to you have have them with Juicy on their bum, and you think other people care that you spent $500 on their outfit or whatever, do you realize that these products (while MOST juicy says made in USA, if you look at all the labels, not all of it is.) come from slave laborers in china that are forced to lie about how much they work per week and how much they make. (they ACTUALLY work 7 days a week, make 3 cents a week, SAY they work 6 days a week, make 25 cents a week) buy them stuff from T J Maxx or whatever. But what you really have to ask youself it WHY? why are you doing this? Why are you spending all this money on materialistic things, that while you may have the money for, is unnecessary.

I have kids at school whose Grandparents made it big, therefore they get whatever they want, and they whine, and whine, and bi*ch, and moan, and complain, and show off, and are absolute ditzes!

Answer 7

i'm shocked so many people answered this so seriously. this is flame, although a decent shot at it. few 28 year old attorney females have two kids, manage to work, have such bad grammar, and can afford chanel and coach bags for their kids. the two year old isn't even old enough to hold the bag up. young attorneys (a 28 year old could have been out of school 2-3 years max) don't have such disposable income unless they are independently wealthy anyway.

this post, though cute, is not real. i wish i myself had 2 chanel bags and six coach bags! not five pairs of uggs though. definitely not the uggs.

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with giving your children the finer things in life if you can afford to do it. The thing that you must do though, is teach them young and early what the meaning and value of money is, and what you and your husband have to do to get it. It took hard work for you two get where you are now, and that the only way that they will be able to get these things as they get older is to work hard as well. Also, don't worry about it too much, they are still far too young to really know what designer clothes are, they just know they are clothes.
Make sure that you don't instill into them an entitlement mentality; such as, My parents are rich, so I deserve this. Make sure they work for what you give them as they get older. Basically, don't reward bad behavior.

Answer 9

It all depends on what you base your value as a person, and as a mother.
If on your eyes the fact of spending a high amount of resources in "bags" for your kids makes you a better parent, and a more "valuable" person, then go for it!
Of course, we have to be aware of the consequences of our actions...remember, cause, and effect?
You are the first contact your little ones have with the outer world, you pass your values onto them, you teach them your view of what is "right and what is wrong". Therefore it is easy for you to imagine the great responsibility we have as parents.
We can start by teaching them the real good values, the integrity that we can achieve if we follow what is best for our heart.
Not what the big enterprises tell us to buy in order to make them just more powerful....and us, we just let them take our identity, digging deeper and deeper into our pockets. Becoming no more than cartoons of each other.

Answer 10

My answer will make you think I'm extremley stuck up, but I don't really mind.
I'm spoiled My parents can afford it. I am 15, and honor student, with the highest conduct grades in my class. My friends are CONSTANTLY jealous because I get cool clothes, electronic, etc. I've been spoiled since I was BORN. I 'm fine. I have no problems. I don't expect ppl to give me what I want, but they do. I'm a ppl pleaser. I think it's fine. But hold on, coach bags 4 2 yr olds? Lol. :) They'll be OK!

Answer 11

Your children are only 2 and 9 months old, keep up what your doing and they are going to start demanding everything they want rather then asking for it and when they do not get it they will throw fits.

At 9 moths a child can barely talk so of course the 9 month old is not going to be nagging for stuff and same goes for the 2 year old but as they get older and start to realize mommy and daddy buys them everything and they can talk better they will be demanding stuff they want and stuff they don't want but just want to get so they can throw it in someones face that they have it and that person dosnt.