My dad is never happy with me the way I am.?

Question

My dad is alway in a mood.. I think its because he has bad shoulders and a bad back so he is in alot of pain and he doesnt get much sleep and that makes him tired. i used to just exept the fact that he was ill and so that made him moody (not violent or anything, just moody) but now its gone kinda out of control. I have a problem which means i dont learn as quickly as others and when my dad tries to show me something like when he helps me with my homework and i keep getting it wrong he gets in a stress all the time and tells me to foget him helping me and get on with it myself... what should i do?

Answer 1

His problem, not yours! Always remember that!!! You are okay just the way you are and isn't lack of patience and tact isn't a reflection on you, its a reflection on HIM!!!

Don't you ever, ever forget that!!!

Answer 2

Sounds like you and your dad have different personalities. Believe it or not some fathers will have 'ill will' toward a son who is not a 'chip off the ole' block', ( taking into consideration him not always feeling well which will make anyone moody'). I am wondering if you have one or more brothers and how your dad relates to him or them. Maybe he is just impatient by nature and it has nothing to do with you. Or he could have high hopes for you and feels as if you have disappointed him. Whatever, you are not in this world to live up to his expectations. Just be the best person you can be.Have you asked him what it was about you that he has a problem with? You are not him. You can only be yourself regardless of what he thinks. If he wants to give you advice, listen. If there is something he says that you feel can help you 'grow' as a man,use it. If not, don't and live your life. There are no assurances in life that says people will approve of us, not even family.

Answer 3

Talk openly with your dad about this when he's in a good mood and not when he's trying to help you with your homework.

I get frustrated easily with my daughter when I'm trying to help her with her homework. She did exactly what I told you to do and it has helped the two of us greatly. She was very calm and mature and it took a couple of repeat discussions with me, but I finally got a clue and now our homework sessions are great father daughter time together.

I too am in a lot of pain at all times and after a long day at work, it's frustrating for me to tolerate a lack of effort on my daughter's part, but with discussion, she has made an effort to show me that she is actively thinking about the things I show her and tell her; this is the positive feedback I need to keep my frustration in check. That and being reminded that it makes my daughter feel bad when I act out my frustration.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I feel for you, the way my dad treated me pretty much screwed me up till this day, I'm trying to get past it but unfortunately it shaped who I am so it's not so easy, alot of my behaviors/feelings are like automatic. If I knew then what I know now it wouldn't have affected me so much. I was very sensitive, sheltered by my mom so I wasn't prepared when people made fun of me or were mean, I was very naive, easily impressionable. So my advice to you is to try not to let it affect you- it's he who has the problem, he doesn't know how to manage his anger, he is the parent. But don't be mad at him, he's probably coping the only way he knows how, he doesn't know any better, parenting doesn't come with a handbook, he's probably treating you the same way his parents treated him which is the only way we learn how to parent. If you understand that and forgive him (being resentful is only going to affect you negatively so it's a gift to yourself to forgive) hopefully it won't affect you. Just let it roll of your back, grow insensitive to it, remember it's not you and besides, you're just a kid, you are going to make mistakes like everybody and you learn from them, it's no big deal. At the time I thought it was but believe me, it's not. Don't feel bad about how he treats you, it's not your fault. Boy, if you can achieve this you've got it made. If you take longer to learn, so you take longer, so what? It's ok. Remember, it's not a big deal. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

Not every one is a teacher. So continue learning, most of the worlds richest people are life learners, who do not get it right away either. Your dad is trying his best, please remember that when he went to school they were taught totally different then you are now, the technique was very different, plus it was a while ago. So it's really hard for him when you don't understand as fast as he would like to explain. Just keep going and know that you must master this so you will be able to help someone just like you

Answer 6

Find someone to help with your home work, cut grass do something do make money buy dad a massage for a gift give it to him with a note saying hope this helps the pain that makes you moody at times cause I need you at those times too.

Answer 7

First of all, you need to help your dad understand where you are in terms of how you are feeling about your relationship with him. He needs to understand that relationships need to be nurtured and that the biological bond doesn't necessarily create or maintain a good relationship.

If he is in pain, that may reduce his level of patience and willingness to be empathetic. The key here is to make him understand that YOU realize he is in pain and that you are empathetic to his ailments. You should also tell him what your needs are so that he is more motivated to help you and understand your difficulties.

Once he helps you and you get it wrong, make an attempt to read things through one more time.....look at other examples in the text book or research them online.

Part of the benefit of being a dad is to be able to help our kids...I am sure that with his ailment and not being able to help you, it must frustrate him. Don't take it personal....reiterate your needs without getting upset.

If you have any problems, post them on here....tons of people are willing to help.

Answer 8

yes your dad sounds like he isnt feeling well at all, can you do your homework in the school library so you time at home wont be stressed over that? he may also have sleep apnea, does he snore? that is when people continue to wake up all during the nihgt they don't realise they have stooped breathing many times and this leaves them tired and grouchy during the day, and mabey with headaches, he might need to go to a sleep clinic to get checked out.

Answer 9

He sounds depressed, or not happy with himself, it has nothing to do with you. Try and get outside tutoring, he seems that he is no condition to help anyone, not even himself. Use the computer for help, if you apply there are tutors at school. Hopefully your dad will seek his own help, that will help him cope with his pain and moody behavior.

Answer 10

To be honest its hard being a teenager especially when your parents aren't there for you like they should be. I would try talking to him calmly and tell him you need him to be patient when going over your homework with you. If that doesn't work try talking to a couselor at school and maybe they can get u a tutor. Goodluck Kid :)

Answer 11

well first of all, lack of sleep because of a bad back is no excuse for him to treat his child like that, so stop telling yourself that he has a reason.. i don't know how old you are, but forget asking him for help, ask me, ask the yahoo! answers community, we won't get frustrated and push you away, we'll help you as much as we can. don't get down about your dad. soon enough he'll notice you not needing his help and he'll start offering it. i'll help you. we'll help you.