I dated a guy for 3 years .I have 3 boys that are not his but called him daddy and he has 1 daughter that called me mommy.We got into a huge argument in aug and he got into his truck and went straight to Az.He then from my point a view threw us out wih the trash.He didn't call or stay in contact at all.My heart was crushed!!It took me a long time to pull myself togeather enough to do the things I needed to do .Now 6 months later he shows up at my door.We've spent the last 3 weeks togeather and he's going back in a couple days.He does not want to be with the boys and I.He has put me down in every choice that i have made sence he's been gone ,always telling me i need to find myself,I need to love myself.But gives me know positive about myself.he don't beleave I should have friends or anyone else in my life fo rthat matter.I don't wanta lose him but I know he's leaving.I'm gonna be so heart boken again!!I'm confused and scared.How can I love someone so much that could care less about me?
2007-03-04 05:08:51 · 7 answers · asked by Tiffany M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i went through the SAME ordeal.....if you want to talk some more in private you can email me
2007-03-04 05:12:49 · answer #1 · answered by brianju 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needed a roof over his head for 3 weeks...If you pulled yourself together once, you can do it again..You are the mother of 3 boys and need to concentrate on them and their well-being also...It's easier said than done when it comes to emotions, I do understand that... but it doesn't sound like this is a guy who loves you...To up and leave after 3 years just like that doesn't say much for his character...Pull yourself together and be strong....don't wimper about with him...Tell him to pack his bags and head on back because you made it once without him and you can do it again.
Then, have a good cry and do your best to carry on and make a good home for you and your kids. Someone is out there in the wings waiting to be found by you and in time, you will be happy again....Good Luck
2007-03-04 05:24:22 · answer #2 · answered by 2179 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question hits me in a real tender spot... My son's father walked out on us right before he was born and never helped or came around for the longest and then one day he tried to come back in the picture when my son was a year old. I told myself I could never justify or look my son in the eyes and tell him that I ever loved a person (father or not) that had hurt him. I owe the best to my child. And you do to, to your kids. If you really feel this man threw you out like trash and has abandoned you and your boys, then you need tuck your feelings in and move on. If for no other reason because you think your kids deserve to be treated right! Do you realize the poor message you are sending to your boys? That you would lose your mind over a man that did them wrong. You need to be strong and pick yourself up and make life what it needs to be for your kids. You need to stand up for those kids, you are the only person they have in life that will, and not settle for some bs for them. Get it together and show your love and commitment to them the way you would like a man to show it to you.
2007-03-04 05:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know you don't want to be heart broken, but the saying "time heals all wounds" is true... why is he toying with you by coming back? let him leave... pull urself together and if he comes around again, tell him you have plans and can't see him anymore... be strong.. and yes, a girl definately does need friends... everyone does.. even if you only have one, everyone needs them... friends are people who walk in when the rest of the world is walking out... i have been married for 6 years, but i swear, if i didn't have my few friends, i would have been lost... they are always there, sometimes more than a boyfriend or husband and won't let you down.. they are the ones you can turn to... so hold ur head high, go out with ur girls, and meet someone who wants to be with you and ur family... remember, true love is when 2 peoples want for each other is greater than their need for each other... good luck...
2007-03-04 05:19:44 · answer #4 · answered by shiningstar1313 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you have to get a backbone. He is telling you that he doesn't care about you because you don't care about yourself. What kind of woman puts a man before her children? You are easy A** that's it. He doesn't have to work for anything because you give it all to him. What doesn that tell your boys? You are weak and they need to see you be strong. Tell him that he needs to go and that you are going to work on you. You have to do something to better your life, and a good man will fall into your hands. Get a backbone and let him go.
2007-03-04 05:15:21 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its called the battered wife syndrome. Women who get beated by their boyfriend/husband do the same thing.
I would consider yourself in that group and look for councelling or something. you obvoiously have self esteem issues like most battered wives have.
2007-03-04 05:13:27 · answer #6 · answered by tmf_z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was abused while he was a child.
2007-03-04 05:14:58 · answer #7 · answered by vaiosoft 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋