In my early 20's I, "hooked up" with this guy. He ended up having children and getting married. I'm in my 30's now. His wife recently died, and he is available again. Well, except for a girl that he is dating. To make things more complicated, I am his daughters teacher. I told him I know about the girl he has been dating, but he claimed that she was seeing the relationship differently than he was. He has expressed interest, we've gone to lunch and he's come over to my house. I know for a fact that she sleeps over his house with her kids, and I think this may still be going on. Should I confront him about this? We just started dating again, I thought I could handle it, but I guess I can't. How should I bring up the subject?
2007-03-04 04:02:19 · 10 answers · asked by jabegall 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes I do think that u should have a talk with hm about this. I mean if he's seeing u and having her sleep over then something should be said. It sounds like maybe he's having his cake and eating it too. so if u don't want to feel as u if ur a crumb then u really need to speak with him about this (asap)
U ask how do u bring up the subject? well just say to him " I need to have a serious talk with u regarding 3 people( U, myself and the other woman)
Since he has expressed interest, u need to know where u stand, because if this other woman views they're relatiinship differently but she and her kids are staying the night over at his place, then what does that mean? And if u and he are having lunch and he coming over to ur place ur confused.
It's ok if he's just being nice to this woman, but the part about her staying over is a problem for u if u and he are going to try to have a relationship.
I hope u and he work it out and it works out n ur favor. =-)
This other woman really shouldn't stay overnight at his place if she's not his girlfriend and she DAMN shouldn't b staying the night at his place if YOUR his girlfriend.( right)
Plus she's has kids and her bringing them over to stay the night too( thats a tacky) kids shouldn't be exposed to this kind of thing since she and he are not a couple.
I really hope it works out for ya, you've been carrying a torch for this guy and u still have feelings for him ( WOW) =-)
Something tells me it's in the cards for u and him( now all u have to do is get rid of the other woman) she needs to get out of the picture
2007-03-04 04:22:37 · answer #1 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to confront him directly. Ask him about the other woman. From what you said, he's admittedly seeing her. Just saying she is looking at the relationship differently than him? Do you know what that means exactly? Is he wanting to be serious and not her? Or the other way around? If he isn't wanting to be serious...that might tell you something there. Let him know you were looking for more of a one on one relationship and if he can't give you that right now, it's fine, but not for you. Sounds to me like his kids are already involved with the other woman and not sure if he's brought you to his house yet? But if so, this is probably very confusing for the kids. Especially after losing their mother.
2007-03-04 04:19:19 · answer #2 · answered by debrenee211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be upfront and honest about it. Not doing so will always create confusion and tension. Also, I've been a teacher for a long time and have had opportunities to be with students. I always said no because I never met a woman student who could seperate the classroom realtionship from the private. If they could that's one thing. But people will always gossip no matter how much they say they won't (both women and guys).
2007-03-04 04:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by ginzawasabi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He would properly be a jerk or is merely appearing like one, although that is likewise real that some adult men" are not any more in a position to precise their thoughts. Has he observed thoughts contained in the previous? If he has to leave and extremely likes or loves you, this dickheadedness would properly be his way (possibly even subconsciously) of no longer having to confront those thoughts. in case you're dissatisfied with him, for in spite of reason and in spite of the reason, this provides him an out and he can shift blame to you for his leaving or the "split".
2016-11-27 20:50:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him about it. But if youn get into a relationship with this guy think about it would affect his daughter since you are her teacher. It might complicate her life more since her mother just died.
2007-03-04 04:09:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I didn't read the whole story. I saw one sentence adn decided to answer. If he's seeing someone else you just need to break it off with this guy. It's not worth all the trouble in the long run. You need to find someone that is happy with just you.
2007-03-04 04:07:26 · answer #6 · answered by mighty1981mouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to him about it and be willing to accept the fact that he may want this other girl. Anyway it goes you won't know until you make a decision to have a talk with him.
2007-03-04 04:08:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just show up unexpectidly and see if this other woman is there. If she is, it probably means their dating and you should probably stop seeing him.
2007-03-04 04:06:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg, yeah you should talk to him about it. who wants to share her guy?
tell him that if he doen't get rid of the other girl you're gonna lose him. give him the guilt trip. if he doesn't get rid of her, then he isn't worth it.
2007-03-04 04:06:40 · answer #9 · answered by Bosquet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, definately! There's nothing to lose.
2007-03-04 04:22:29 · answer #10 · answered by beachykeen8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋