I sent a friend of hers who is also a mutual friend of mine an invitation to my wedding.She complained that I did not send her an invitation. I explained that you do not send your OWN MOTHER an invitation. She argued that most mothers are in the same city with their daughters and they know what the invitation looks like. My position is that the mothers who are paying for the invitations know what it looks like and she is not paying for my invitations. I told her I did have one saved for her as a keepsake and she would get it when she gets here. She stated that it was not proper.
I have handled the details of my wedding myself. My mother has not assisted me at all. I have had to look for my mothers dress, only to have her complain that she did not like any of them, now she wants me to look for my grandmothers dress on top of all the other things I have to do. My grandmother was not invited to the wedding because I am afraid of the drama she will cause. She does it every family event.
2007-03-04 03:50:20 · 14 answers · asked by femmenoire@sbcglobal.net 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Now I am being forced to give my grandmother an invitation because she keeps mentioning my wedding. I am stressed enough, why am I having to appease all these people with regards to my day? Any advice you have is greatly appreciated!
2007-03-04 03:51:35 · update #1
You do NOT have to invite your grandmother. It is YOUR wedding and YOUR choice.
However, I do think you should send an invitation to everyone you hope to attend, including your mother. She could keep the invitation she got as a keepsake.
And have your mom look for her dress herself, especially if she moans and whines about your choices of dresses.
2007-03-04 04:49:33 · answer #1 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whether anybody has helped pay for your wedding or not has nothing to do with sending them an invitation. If you put aside a wedding invitation for your mother as a keepsake, why don't you just send it to her!
Everybody should be shopping for their own clothes. You have enough to do, make it clear you just don't have that kind of time. If your mature enough to get married, you should be able to stand up for yourself and not be forced into shopping.
Your grandmother won't be around forever, and she's probably looking forward to her granddaughter getting married. What kind of drama could she cause at your wedding? You should invite her, in my opinion. Have another responsible family member keep her under control at your wedding, if you feel she's going to get out of control.
2007-03-04 04:16:17 · answer #2 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me be blunt: If you didn't want to have to deal with your mother's demands or your dramaqueen grandmother, then you shouldn't have opted to have a wedding like this! You and your fiancee' should have booked a 10-day trip to St. Lucia, had a private sunset wedding out on the beach, and then a reception when you returned. We too had to pay for our own wedding 8 years ago and to this day my mother still complains about where we had her sitting (had to keep her and my father as far away as possible). In hindesight I'm glad we had the wedding we had despite the BS certain family members caused. But if you want a wedding with friends & family, then this is the price you pay! Otherwise you will NEVER hear the end of it until the day somebody dies! TRUST ME on that! (by the way, send your mother an invitation and shut her up already!)
2007-03-04 04:04:12 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is supposed to be a happy time for you and I'm so sorry you are so stressed!!! Try to enjoy yourself!
Having said that, I think you need to send an invitation to every single invited guest, your mother and grandmother included. Why wouldn't you send them invitations? Do you not have enough? I think especially because your mother isn't involved in the planning, you should treat her as any other guest.
As for your grandmother, you should definitley invite her. I think that you will regret not having her their in the future. My friend fought with her mother around the time of her wedding, and dis-invited her. They have since repaired their relationship. My friend got married 5 years ago and still is upset about how her mother missed it. You don't want to have any regrets.
good luck!
Oh, and your mom and g-ma should ABSOLUTELY be looking for their own dresses. You have enough to do!!
2007-03-04 04:00:23 · answer #4 · answered by Level Headed, I hope 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am getting a lot of the family grief from my mom too. I have been planning my wedding since December and she is JUST coming today to look for a dress (and she is already 2 hours late) because I flat out refused to look for one for her. Also because I am inviting immediate family only and some friends because Mom's side of the family isn't happy unless they are causing trouble. This has made it hard because I love my Dads side of the family and my fiance is very close to his family but I can't invite them and not Mom's side soI had to cut out a lot of people I would have likedt to have had there.
Just keep your chin up and keep breathing. It will all work out. Have you told your Mom why you would prefer to not have your grandmother there? Are you inviting other grandparents?
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-03-04 03:59:27 · answer #5 · answered by Dawnita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family you need to take care of to a point. Hurt feelings can stay around. You also do not want your day that you are doing all the work for to go wrong. Some people will complain if it all goes good or not if there is any little little thing that goes wrong. They are already complaining now. Will they stop or just change thier complaining when this is over. Just politely tell them this is your day and if they do not want to be quiet and content with how you plan this they ned not attend.
2007-03-04 04:03:57 · answer #6 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that's your mom and grandma but they are women and women love to shop. If they are acting too lazy to go find a dress, something is up. Either they don't like your future husband or are afraid of loosing you. Find out what the problem is...... have a long talk with them and tell them how you feel. The invitation thing is way deeper than just that paper it's written on. Your mother wants to feel just as important to you now as she was the day you were born. Handing her invitation to her by hand (in her mind) is saying that you are already forgetting her. I don't know why older people get this way, but hey we love them so we have to deal with it. If it's your fiance they don't like, they WILL let you know!!! Trust me.
And why are you spending YOUR money on this wedding? What is the future Hubby doing with his money? Is he contributing any? Maybe your mom is looking at that side of it too!
P.S. Tell grandma to chill with all that dang drama!!! Let her know that that's why she didn't get a invitation. Who knows maybe she will try to change her ways when attending your wedding. Congratulations!!! Good luck.
2007-03-04 04:36:04 · answer #7 · answered by Miss G. H. Etto 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its YOUR day, do what YOU want and tell the other people get bent. Your mother can wear jeans if she doesnt want to go out and get a dress, and if your grandmother is whacky tell her you want her to stay away and thats why you didn't send her an invitation. Promiser her pictures.
If you have a nightmare wedding because of all the stress, whats the point of having it?
2007-03-04 04:01:43 · answer #8 · answered by Hans B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take a deep breath sweetie, and remember its YOUR wedding. You do everything that you want to do and don't listen to what your mom, grandma, or ANYONE says for that matter. If you do not want to invite your Grandma....you don't have to! She may get mad....well let her! All you need on this special day is your new hubby and to be in love and RELAX. I would reccommend removing anyone from your guest list that will keep you from doing so. Good Luck!!
2007-03-04 04:16:20 · answer #9 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you have a really petty family. My mother would never complain over not getting an invitation. We are a practical family though.
2007-03-04 03:59:39 · answer #10 · answered by fifimsp1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋