Should I stay or should or go?

Question

I live in London but am from Wales! I been in London for 5 years an 3 months.. Me n bf moved dwn from Wales to London an just over a year later we split, so I moved out an got a house share, so in the last 3 years i been sharing flats.... met a guy through work an been seein him for over 2 years an since I just have been unappy! He never commited to me or made me feel secure, 8/10 he makes me sad and depressed. He was with some1when I met him but I didnt know until over a year later an then we stopped talkin. the him an gf broke up coz she was seein someone else too.. then him n me got together again an was what I though were seein each other again, what I didnt know was he was sleepin with his ex too and got her pregnant and she gave birth in Jan 07... F***** up I know... He was still seein me all through the pregnancy but I dnt know if he was seein her, but she was meant to move bak home but she didnt due to family probs so she is livin with him. I'm so unappy here in London

And I dont knw what to do, I dont have many friends and least of all girl mates.. I feel like I just want to go back home to wales to live to be away from all this nonsence... Usually I am alone most of the time apart frm work (I have a good job) but apart from that im on my own and usually the past few weeks I drink my self stupid and cry myself to sleep every night. Im sick of being on my own and unappy but not sure if I should just give it all up and go back home to the quietest little village in Wales where there isnt much work n no money! so confused with life right now, i really wish i wasnt on earth. Im 25 soon and feel like I've wasted 3 years of my life.. its easy to say forget about them but as they are only down the road from me and where I live in london its easy to bump into them.

Answer 1

Please don't go home.
Join a gym.
Take some classes.
Join a club
Volunteer.

If you go home, you'll eventually feel like a quitter and a loser.

I don't think you wasted time at all. You went through what you went through and you learned some lessons. It happens to all of us. And 25 is still very young. Honest. It only feels like 100 :)

Things will get better. You have a good job. You will make friends. It's difficult, I know, but you can do it. I've moved to three different cities where I didn't know anyone. Eventually you will when you put your mind to it.

Do one thing differently every day. Something small. Take a new way to work. Shop for groceries in a different store. Say hello to someone on the street.

Drinking at home is only a way to self-medicate... all it does is isolate you and from then, it's really easy to spiral down.

Be glad the guy is gone. He's a user and a loser.
You will find someone who will treat you like a princess when you believe you deserve it.

Start today.

Answer 2

I think you really know what you need to do for peace of mind and your sanity you must move back to Wales where you belong. You should be able to get a decent job somewhere. I t is not worth trying to soldier on with so much unhappiness and London is a big place to live there all alone in the world. Kick the guy into touch he has had his cake and ate it for long enough let him find someone else to "knock off" You have not failed you are changing career, and you do not want to be sitting there at night drinking and crying every night. Good luck to you hope it all turns out ok for you.

Answer 3

It sounds to me as you are still emotional upset at the moment. Give it a few weeks then see how you feel.
Start trying to get yourself a social life with some of your collages from work.
Because you are at work all day and going home to do nothing it is giving you more time to think about.
Don't throw your life way because of him, try and get a life of your own and if he comes grovelling back be strong and say no.
I believe once he sees you have a life without him he will come grovelling back to you. Be strong because deep down you are,
sit back a while and add up the pros and cons of going back to wales, before you make any decision.
You can only do this yourself. hope everything works out for you what ever you decide.

Answer 4

The better thing for you would probably be to move to another London area to make sure not to meet this B*****D all the time but I guess it's prettyt difficult to find an affordable flat in London these days.As you've got a good job and are so young you'll surely have more opportunities to launch a career here than in your remoted Welsh village even if I understand you see it like a safe and peaceful harbour from there.

Answer 5

1) Ditch this self-centred ****
2) Take a couple of weeks' holiday and go home; cry on your mum's/sister's/friend's shoulder and take stock of what YOU want. If you want to stay in London, maybe a new job and a new place to live would help. If you want to move home for a while, do. Or try somewhere different - Leeds, or Edinburgh, or Birmingham. Good luck and I like the typing with a Welsh accent!

Answer 6

London's a big place, full of people all rushing about, with busy lives, but most of the people, to varying degrees, are lonely too! Forget this bloke, forget the other bloke, concentrate on your future- finding your feet & then look for ways to entertain yourself & hopefully you'll avoid being hurt & used.
If you like the bustle of the dirty city, then stay.
If you miss the greenery,. the wildness & isolation, go back...
You need friends of both sexes, not just blokes...

Where are your family? Do you have any? Do you miss them?

Whichever way you decide, I wish all the very best XX

Answer 7

babe i really feel for you but stay strong! i think it would be a good idea to move away from the pr!ck but why just wales? if you've managed on your own for this long your obviously a really strong person so you could move anywhere, quit with the heavy drinking cos I'm sure you don't need a hangover to add to your problems get out there meet new people get some good mates you can confide in email me if you wanna (I'm 25 too) make your own happiness you deserve it x good luck x

Answer 8

Go home...he's obviously not making you happy so why don't you try going home to wales and meeting up with some old friends and try and forget him...i know easier said than done but life's short and you should do whatever you can to be happy. Good Luck.

Answer 9

You only get as much abuse as you put up with. Men get freaked out by needy women so if you want a solid guy who isn't around just to take advantage of a vulnerable person, you need to fix your life before you try to share it with someone else. The join a gym etc suggestion was spot on. Enjoy the power of goodbye.

Answer 10

girl that doesnt mean u have to move back to wales. go and live somewhere else. maybe u need to start new life. gd luck.
dont go coz some guy is maiking unhappy.