My son is a sensitive child and gets his feelings hurt very easily. He wont stand up for himself and really isnt at a normal 9 year old level...socially! He is beaten up and picked on terribly and I try to be understanding and consoling towards him, but he just cant seem to get pass the stage of allowing some things to just pass by and he wont stay away fromt he ones that do these things to him. Please if you have any ideas on what I can do to toughen him up yet keep him my loving child! Help, please!
2007-03-04 01:20:50 · 10 answers · asked by kd1771 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I would find out why he's getting picked on. It will be tough, but try to establish what behaviors he's exhibiting that are making him a target.
Most times I see this, it's because the boy is totally missing verbal and non-verbal cues from the other kids. When you and I are boring everyone around us, we can see the blank stares, the eye rolls, and glances at watches.
So talk to his teacher, and maybe volunteer for something at the school (back in the day we used to have moms do cafeteria duty) so you can observe and see how your son behaves and how the other children react.
Once you establish the behaviors that have made him a target, then you can work on correcting those.
Now, if he is getting beaten up, I would demand accountability from the school. A well run school doesn't have more than a few fights/year because the kids are so well monitored that not much more than a punch or two can be thrown before the chlidren are separated and parents called and culprits suspended. The SCHOOL needs to ban those children from contact with each other for a certain time period to protect your son.
When you say your son isn't a normally 9 year old, have you had him tested for anything? I am not trained in diagnosing such things, but if it was my child, I would have a psychologist take a look at seeing if he is on the autism spectrum. It's not as serious as it may seem, so please don't panic. I could be wrong, but if he is, it would explain why he's missing nonverbal cues and the like.
If he is given a diagnosis, then in the US he'll have access to several learning and developmental tools through his school district that will be provided at no charge, like counseling and special considerations.
Good luck! To have such a wonderful, concerned, loving parent, I'm sure your son will turn out just fine!
2007-03-04 02:46:00 · answer #1 · answered by Monc 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You will have to deal with this on a number of levels. First you need to inform the school so that they can keep an eye open for bullying. His teacher can be your ally in bolstering his self-esteem as well by adding a dose of praise for his good qualities in the classroom and giving him some responsibility. He also needs to find a friend. If there is someone at school, you can foster that relationship. If there is no one, perhaps an after-school activity will make him feel more confident and allow him another opportunity to find a friend. Martial Arts can be a great confidence builder, but other sports can be as well. Let him help you find a good physical activity that he wants to do. My daughters liked competitive swimming and it was a great esteem builder, inexpensive and widened their circle of friends.
Cubs or Scouts, or a church group might help..
Good luck and don't give up
2007-03-04 01:56:10 · answer #2 · answered by Goddess of Laundry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first tryo to get the kid's parents informed on what their children are doing. A lot of times their parents have no idea so it is going unpunished at home. Discipline needs to be taught at home because there are only so much the school can do. If it continues after that I would then contact the school. Also another good idea is something extra-curricular like a self defense or karate class. They will both teach that violence is not the answer but he definately needs to start defending himself. I hope this helps. Kids can be so cruel.
2007-03-04 02:30:00 · answer #3 · answered by vanillashimmer21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok mom,this is going to be tough but I had to do it to my kids and they came out alright,you have to many people who want to be politically correct..,bull.If my kids came home and told me someone was picking on them,this was my response.
1.Ask them to stop
2.Tell them to stop
3.Knock the crap out of them.
Children have a right to defend themselves.My daughter was in kindergarten and had a boy that kept pulling her dress up.She followed the steps,once she knocked him on his keester,he stopped picking on her,in fact they became best friends.If your son doesnt want to defend himself,you have to toughen up and tell him you dont want to hear his whining unless he does something about it.Contacting school officials wont do anything but bring more problems on him from the kids.Good luck and I hope he kicks their butts!!
Edited:Also stress the fact they are NOT to start the fight.Thats important because some kids can steer the other way and become bullies themselves once they find out how good it feels to defend yourself.Again good luck.
2007-03-04 03:17:07 · answer #4 · answered by jnwmom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think of that 9 years previous is a lot too youthful for any newborn to be demise their hair. in case you enable him try this you're coaching him that his self nicely worth (or a great component of it) is in line with looks. in simple terms save encouraging him. enable him be attentive to that he's positive the way that he's. there are a number of different babies with blonde hair. according to danger you should even dye your hair lighter (basically a thought). yet, PLEASE, do not enable your son dye his hair. additionally, he's now getting to the age the place he ought to start to attain something approximately him is diverse. according to danger now's the time to tell him that his dad isn't his organic and organic father. it would in all probability close the different little ones up, too. How dumb might you sense in case you have been teasing a newborn for being observed and that they only nonchalantly stated "i'm"? ha ha
2016-10-17 05:56:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
alright heres ur best bet if you know ur kid is gettin picked on then ur best bet is to go stuff like ptsa meetings and sac meetings at his school and if tht doesnt work then go to the pricipal and if u have a good pricipal then she probaly goes to the ptsa meetings and tht would be the best time to get it adressed im a student and im the vice president for Gibbs High School PTSA and i can always count on my pricipal to be at the meetings and if i have a problem with anything in school i juss discuss them at the ptsa meetings and youll also find out alot of information from ptsa and sac so thts wat i suggest
2007-03-04 03:56:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get him an extra curiculare activity that he will be really good at to boost his self esteem! Mabe like karate that teaches him its not good to fight when he doesnt have to, and that way he can make friends that are in a different circle. GOOD LUCK!!!!!! i know how hard that is!
2007-03-04 01:45:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is called bullying, and it is unacceptable! You need to get in contact with his teacher and the principal!!! Be firm that there need to be consequences for these other children.
2007-03-04 01:53:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either takk to the head teacher and they will deal with it, or move school. Simple just two things you can do.
2007-03-04 02:36:41 · answer #9 · answered by James Barton 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
put him in karkote classes it teaches them self defence and self estem it really will help him, give it a try it wout hurt, good luck
2007-03-04 02:48:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋