My speech is about healthy schools and dinners. I talk about how some schools are selling chips at break and how the kids are still buying them. I don't want to bore the judges so does anyone know any appropiate humour I can slip in? Thank you.
2007-03-04 00:32:01 · 7 answers · asked by ♥frodo_covcity♥ 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Johnny says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful."
Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blo*-job."
2007-03-04 00:38:40 · answer #1 · answered by Electric 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't really need a joke to make your speech interesting. Just know what you have to say, and know it well.
When you talk, never look down (I guess you don't anyway) but try looking at everyone if it's public. Remember that there are not only judges there but a public you have to 'entertain'.
The only good joke you could tell is that you've tried eating that stuff yourself, and didn't like it at all (and saying that's really disgusting and making a face!!) or something like that...
Hope it helps anyway. I helped a friend get first prize in an english-speaking competition this way...
2007-03-04 02:39:30 · answer #2 · answered by anjali k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing worse than paying outrageous prices for food with high calories containing few nutrients is eating food with high calories containing few nutrients. Sorry, this is not a joke but please conclude or include this. What you are doing is very important, I have thought about doing this myself. Bring a blender, pour some chips in and blend, the greasy paste is sickening and makes you feel you may as well snack on a can of lard.
2007-03-04 01:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by Beenthere4sure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is the best place to have the sickroom at school ?
Next to the canteen !
What do French pupils say after finishing their school dinners ?
Mercy !
Why was school soup rich ?
Because it had 24 carrots in it !
How many bones have you got in your body ?
Two thousand. I had fish for dinner at school !
Why does the school cook dip the sponge fingers in paraffin ?
In an attempt to make them light !
What's the difference between school tapioca and frogspawn?
Not a lot!
Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners.
Son: But, Mum, I don't want three school dinners, one is more than enough !
Pupil: There is a dead fly in my dinner
Cook: Oh dear, I wonder if it died after tasting it !
How did the dinner lady get an electric shock ?
She stepped on a bun and a current went up her leg !
Teacher: Why are you the only one in class today ?
Pupil: Because I missed school dinner yesterday !
What's worse than finding a caterpillar in your salad ?
Finding half a caterpillar !
Pupil: This egg is bad
Cook: Don't blame me I only laid the table !
Dinner Lady: Eat up your greens, they are good for your skin.
Pupil: But I don't want green skin !
Pupil: I thought we got a choice for dinner but there is only sausages and fries.
Dinner Lady: That's the choice, take it or leave it !
Dinner Lady: It's very rude to reach over the table for cakes, haven't you got a tongue in your head ?
Pupil: Yes, but my arms are longer !
2007-03-04 00:46:07 · answer #4 · answered by Confused 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you could pull out a bag of chips and eat them as you are giving your speech. Visuals really help.
2007-03-04 00:56:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could say...
whilst looking for my keys we were going at full pace to get out the door, my husband just stood there and watched me struggle,, when i finally found my key he say "isnt it wierd its in the last place you look"
i turned around and said "well yeah, you lose them, look for them, find them and KEEP LOOKING DO YOU!!!!!"
2007-03-04 00:45:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take my wife, please.
2007-03-04 00:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋