Is being gay always not a choice?

Question

Define gay. Some are transexuals (not the same as gay) Some are cross dressers. What about bisexuals (is this a choice)? Does being gay have to include sexual orientation or is it being attracted to same sex?

If I am attracted to women as companions but men for sex what is that? What if I don't want sex at all?

Is there a difference between sexual freedom and being gay? Is not gay just a label to define people?

If it's a matter of sexual preference that implies that it is a choice. (ie. prefer) My preference is my own business. Why must I make it known to the world? If I live with a person of the same gender why must everyone know our sexual preference?

Well dash that was intelligent & constructive

Does anyone believe that a person may have acceptance and identity issues and that they may want attention even though negative?

I'm beginning to believe it is always a choice. One can choose sexual orientation otherwise they would never have been in the closet. We choose to be in the closet just as we choose to come out. We may all have desires but choose not to act on them. I think it is fine to be gay or not to but I think it is a choice.

Adele ...where are you getting your info? It doesn't make any sense.

Do we not choose our essence regardless of what environment we are in..... we do what we decide (choose). We go against many of societies teaching and even what our parents taught, we take responsibility for our own freedom of choice when we are mature.

Answer 1

"Is being gay always not a choice? "

Is education optional in Alabama? I figure that is where you are from.

Answer 2

If an attractive man and his woman are walking down the street which do you find yourself looking at and studying their every move. That answers all questions - if you are more attracted to the person who is your sex then clearly you are gay. I find that I look only at the one who's sex is the opposite of mine and never the same sex as me so I must be straight. I don't know of any other test than that. Same sex affairs may very well be enjoyable but not an indication of sexual orientation. Being gay and attracted to peoply of your same sex is not normal behavior but it may be accepted by society as ok. The choice comes in when a person becomes aware of their sexual orientation and chooses to accept it as normal for them.

Answer 3

"Gay" generally refers to a sexual attraction exclusively to members of the same sex. In other words, their sexual orientation is towards members of the same sex.

Cross dressers are a different category. All that "cross dressing" means is that a person is dressing up in clothes that are typically worn only by members of the opposite sex. This can be done by people who are straight or by people who are gay or somewhere inbetween -- sexual orientation is independent of this.

To answer your main question, being gay is not _always_ not a choice, though it _often_ is not a choice. Put more simply, in my experience, most people have not chosen to be gay or chosen to be straight or to be bisexual, etc. However, I have met a couple of people who have told me that they chose to be gay. In both cases, these were women who had very negative experiences in previous relationships with men and decided to have a closer relationship with other women, which then eventually developed into a romantic relationship. In my opinion, this is not a typical occurrence but it does happen occasionally.

It certainly was not a choice for me, as I tried very hard and for many years to change before I finally accepted myself for who I was. But everyone's experience differs somehow -- some more than others.

Answer 4

there is a difference between sexuality and sexual orientation.

sexuality is who you are, sexual orientation is who you are attracted to.

transsexuals have issues with their own sexuality.

gay is generally when a male or masculine person is attracted to other males or other masculine persons.

crossdressing spans the entire trans family

transvestites are people who are comfortable with their own genitals but enjoy crossdressing as it turns them on. transgendered and transsexuals tend to crossdress because they honestly feel trapped in the wrong body.

yes, gay is sexual orientation.. it has nothing to do with gender roles (masculine or feminine)

bisexuality is a term for sexual orientation where someone could potentially be attracted to men and women.

sexual orientation is based on neurology. the unborn baby develops these feelings during first 3 months of pregnancy.

however, it often takes many years for non-straight people to realize their true orientation as we are brought up in a world that preaches and assumes that everyone is straight..

Answer 5

Homosexual-label for someone with primarily same sex attraction
Not a choice any more than choosing to prefer coke over pepsi. 10 out of 10 squirrels agree, they prefer nuts.The choice comes after.

Bisexual-attraction not dependent on gender

Gay-a person who has adopted the label as part of a set of sub-culture behavior. The upshot, you have a community of others of the same sub-culture to hang with. The downside, you loose whatever class privilege you may have had until you figure out how out you want to be and how you're gonna pull off "gay".

Homosex-sex with someone of the same gender regardless of primary attraction (anyone can have homosex but it doesn't necessarily mean they are gay OR homosexual)

Queer-a label used by people who don't give a &%^
There are bi=queers straight queers and homo queers....remember tho, for some reason sometimes tension arrises between gays and queers. Gender&^*%ers welcome!

Gay for Pay-a str8 person who is willing to engage in homosex for a price regardless of it not being their primary attraction

Bi Now Gay Later-a common period where a newly out homosexual has not learned how to be or does not want to be labeled as GAY so they use Bi (Many people are BI tho. Its not nice to use this term until AFTER someone has switched label)

BI-Social -Someone who has a strong gender preference but uses the BI label for attention

Word of note: Labels are for merchandise. If you've got something on the market, then label it. If you mis-label it can be construed as false advertising. If you detest labels for whatever reason, I suggest something neutral but gets the point accross.

For instance:

"I find myself attracted to ________" It's not a label and they don't get that look like they're picturing you fornicating.

Remember, regardless of what society (and bitchy queens) might say to the contrary, love is what defines us as human. Everything else is just details.

Answer 6

Being gay is never a choice in my opinion. Why would someone want to put themselves through the pain and hardship that gays and lesbians go through? I dont think anyone in their right mind would ever choose to be gay. Being gay is just who you are. I dont even see why people view the whole homosexual thing as something so big. If you are white, you are just white. You did not choose to be white. Being gay is the same way.

Answer 7

well guess what. all ppl are born bisexual. not in the sense of being promiscious. in the sense that all human life is beautifull to a child. a little girl will suckle on her mother's breast just as a little boy would.
then society teaches you that girls go with boys, and not with other girls. and white kids go with white kids, and black with black.
the only reason homosexuality is being faught so terribly by society, is that throughout the centuries, same sex relationships were shunned, because untill recently, most parts of the world were in constant war, and kings and emperors needed soldiers to fight and win these wars for them. so same sex relationships doesnt usually have kids. so the rulers had the religious sects proclaim homosexuality to be a sin. so boys can go with girls, and make babies to go and die in a war for the king.
so, in the thousands of years of history being rewritten (that includes the bible, by the way) by human hands, that remixed it whichever way they thought it should sound like, and also to fit in with the current state of the nation.
so, being gay or bisexual or whatever, is not a choice. it is a step towards enlightenment, towards being who your heart knows you are.
it should not even have a label. it should be as natural as breathing.
if you find a man attractive, and build a life with him, that should be your heart's choice, not your minds.
'cause love is supposed to be universal, accross, race, sex, religion, etc.
but it isn't. ppl hav warped it and killed it before it had a chance.
didnt jesus say 'love thy neighbour....' dont you think he meant anybody, including the same sex as you?

Answer 8

Well i get ya...i see men and women the same way. not for anything sexual, its kinda confusing....trust me. Anyways, its hard for me to label myself, either bi, or non-sexual. I won't say bi, because i dont think that fits me...and when i tell myself non-sexual, that makes me feel like..DAMN, why i gotta be that different? so i go with straight. If i do see a cute girl, or guy...i would think they're cute..thats about it, dont want anything to do with them. could be a phase?

Answer 9

I say, I had this confusion at one time: men for sex, women for companions. I say buy a dildo and come out of the lesbian closet. Monogamy with the one you love is much easier.

Answer 10

Being gay and straight is about physical and emotional attraction.

Answer 11

i dont think that very many people enjoy being in the birth defe
ct way that they are in today.