Shamus was getting irritated and shouted upstairs to his wife," Hurry up or we'll be late."
"Oh, be quiet," replied his wife. "Haven't I been telling you for the last hour that I'll be ready in a minute?"
Paddy and Mary, being good Irish Catholics, had so many children that they didn't know what to do...Paddy says to Mary,
"Sure, and we have to get some advice from the parish priest. We can't keep on with anymore children."
So they went to see the priest, and the priest says to Paddy, "Now, me boyo, you know the church only allows two ways to limit the wee ones. One is to abstain altogether, and the other is the rhythm.." Paddy scratches his head and says:
"Well, now, Father, how in the hell am I going to find a ceili band at 4:00 o'clock in the morning????"
Q. What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
A. One less Drunk
2007-03-03 23:44:43 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
FAF Lmao!
I loved these one`s, they remind me of my family!
Good to have you back mate X
Tink x an` have a *
2007-03-04 04:23:56 · answer #1 · answered by Tink 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you really are Irish otherwise 'be jeses....you'll be in for a roasting as the only nation you can take the piss out of these days are the English...and we are so thick it's untrue...we must be not to realise that we are getting left behind in the wealth stakes...you Paddys are over taking us like greyhounds on that score. Good on yer.
Not bad jokes though!.
2007-03-03 23:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love the crossword line. here is yet another. a delicate airplane crashed right into a cemetry in eire the day previous. The Irish rescue group have recovered 562 bodies so far and are nonetheless digging.
2016-10-17 05:52:43 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear about the Irishman who damaged his health by drinking milk?
-The cow fell on him
An Irishman joined the crew of a pirate ship. At sea one of the sailors fell overboard
"Throw in a buoy" ordered the captain
Paddy responded to the order, grabbed the cabin boy and threw him into the sea
"No you fool! I meant a cork buoy" said the captain
"How was I s'pposed ter know what part of Oireland he came from?!" replied Paddy
Two Irishmen offered to dig the channel tunnel. To speed things up, one decided to dig from England, the other from France.
"What if you get your calculations wrong?" asked the Prime Minister
"Then you get two channel tunnels for the price of one" said the Irishman
What do you call 1 Irishman?
-A drunk
What do you call 2 Irishmen?
-A fight
What do you call 3 Irishmen?
-A terrorist cell
How do you keep Mickey happy all afternoon?
-Write PTO on both sides of a piece of paper
How do you get an Irishmen on the roof of the pub?
-Tell him the drinks are on the house
2007-03-04 02:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Funny,like the Irish family found dead outside the Dublin Odeon,they'd been queueing for three weeks to see "Closed for the winter"
2007-03-04 00:57:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. LOL.
All Good Ones! LOL.
Thanks for the laughs!
2007-03-06 00:00:05 · answer #6 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little Irish lad swinging from tree.
Mother:
"If you break your leg, don't come running to me"
2007-03-04 21:35:08 · answer #7 · answered by Vincent A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes they were Irish jokes and they were very good.
2007-03-04 00:16:33 · answer #8 · answered by Jo H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with tinks great to have you back 10/10
2007-03-04 15:44:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao go for it
2007-03-04 00:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by Charm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋