I don't smoke, and don't really appreciate it around me, so my boyfriend, after coughing and spluttering for ages decided to give up. He done really well until we were out and had a cigarette, I was just disappointed in him, simply because of his health, and he swore blind he wouldn't do it again, only for half an hour later, he did the same, and a third time in the night. Also he just lies to me about it. I care about his health, but it seems he doesn't even respect me enough to be truthful to me. He treats me like I'm a child and I'm just getting sick of it. what should i do.
2007-03-03 23:37:21 · 13 answers · asked by leffers55 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
In response to the s****y comment, I have done nothing but supposrted him, complementing him day in day out how proud I am of him which is why, yes I do get upset when I find out he lies to me. Why should I bother supporting him if he's only going to bulls**t me
2007-03-04 00:41:04 · update #1
It seems like he is only lying to you because he is afraid of letting you down. It seems like he is acting like a child and you are the "parent" keeping an eye on him to make sure he is not smoking. Encourage him to try patches or something else to help him quit smoking. Tell him that you will support him but that you will no longer be his "mother." From that point on you should not bring up the issue again. If you feel that you cannot be with a "smoker" then you should break up with him. Remember, you cannot change the behavior of others.........you can only change the way you react to their behavior.
2007-03-04 01:11:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. My mum pretends she doesnt smoke and she wont smoke in front of me because she thinks i dont know.
She was told to cut down or give up becuase of her health. She has her leg amputated 10 yrs ago as her veins were blocked from smoking.
If we are out she will go to the toilet to smoke.
If i am on the phone to her i can hear hat she is smoking...
The way i see it is if she thinks i dont know.... then i am not going to tell her i do.. she smokes a lot less thinking that she has to hide it than she would if everyone knew. If everyone knew she smokes she would be lighting up all the time...
2007-03-03 23:49:52 · answer #2 · answered by JustJem 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You treat him like a child! He was smoking yet when you met him,he's doing efforts to quit and you get upset for 3 ciggies on a night out? Sounds quite selfish to me.Beside it's probably your control-freak ways that led him to lie."he doesn't respect me enough to be truthful",what about you ? Nagging him about a bad habit he already had when you met and then getting pissed off when he fails to comply instead of being supportive and compassionate isn't what I'd call respect.
2007-03-04 00:37:23 · answer #3 · answered by valerie_adele 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you knew he smoked when you started dating him so ease up on the guy, at least he tried just be supportive and ask him to try again eventually he will get it right also he has got to want to do it? If you love someone you have to let them make their own decisions he's not a child and i'm sure he knows the health risks :)
2007-03-03 23:55:47 · answer #4 · answered by clare w 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you knew he smoked when you started dating. You shouldn't go into a relationship thinking you are going to change the other person. If you care, you would be supportive of him. You have no idea what it is like to quit smoking if you have never smoked. He is lying to you because you aren't being supportive and are getting upset because he is having trouble quiting.
2007-03-04 00:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by QT 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
giving up smoking is hard thing to do. some think you have to want to do. He might be lying to you because he doesn't want to disappoint you or maybe you go on at him.ask him to go the to doctors for help and advise. try and support him in what ever decision he makes weather he gives up or not.If you meet him when he was smoking you don't really have the right to tell him to stop
2007-03-05 00:28:11 · answer #6 · answered by patricia t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand your frustration, but imagine his!! i'm sure he's not disrespecting you he's probably just afraid of disappointing you. When i quit smoking you'd find yourself hiding in a corner and acting like a schoolkid just so i could have a quick puff! how pathetic is that, but such is the addiction of nicotine that you do act unreasonable and silly just to get a "hit". go easy on your boyfriend and carry on supporting him like you are, i'm sure he'll get there eventually! good luck to you both
2007-03-04 00:56:07 · answer #7 · answered by sausagejockey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To him it may not being lying.. He might really want to give up smoking. But it is just WAY to hard. For a non smoker it is even harder to understand .
Give him some encouragement when ever you can .. Try not to harp about it heath.
2007-03-04 00:10:38 · answer #8 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only 3 in one night? He's doing pretty good, be more patient. It is physically addictive with headache and muscle spasms for side effects.
2007-03-04 00:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he needs patches. it doesn't work any other way. as for lying its just because he knows how you feel, doesn't want fight especially when he is struggling to give up. it would be very hard for him trust me i went through the same thing with my husband. you will fight alot more when he does eventually give up as he will be moody. my husband has given up now for two years and did it with patches and gum and still gets cravings from time to time. however the longer he smokes the harder it gets.
2007-03-03 23:59:59 · answer #10 · answered by Blondie 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋