My boyfriend ditched me just before Christmas and then told me in January that it was because of my children. My friends and family say that my kids are lovely and are simply normal typical children. But now I am left wondering, we could of had a relationship without my children being involved so perhaps there is another reason. I try hard at my relationships but they never go right and always end in tears (usually mine). What am I doing wrong and what can I do to succeed in my next relationship with a man? I just want to find a nice man whom I may spend the rest of my life with.
2007-03-03 23:12:36 · 23 answers · asked by Miss England 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it seems as tho you are well rid of him, as before anything else your kids must come first and be a part of any new relationship that you get into . the guy must accept you and your family as one . i know it can be difficult from a guys side .. will they accept me and all that but if a guy loves you he loves you and no matter what he will accept. i have been on my own for 4 years now and i am still waiting for Mrs right and have still not given up hope so u should not either, drop me a line if you like to chat on here
mark
2007-03-04 00:39:56 · answer #1 · answered by mark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are not doing anything wrong. Perhaps you try to hard when you meet someone. I would say you just haven't met Mr. Right yet and I would suggest waiting till he comes along. The only way to have a successful relationship is to always be yourself, don't try and change for someone else cause that is not right. I am sure that the man of your dreams is somewhere out there looking for you and you have to go through the dregs before you find the best.
2007-03-04 08:38:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one, it is sometimes hard for a man to accept someone else's children...sad, but true...and your children do come first. If the last guy who broke up with you said it was because of your children I don't think you would want him around anyways would you? He knew you had children when he started the relationship...pretty lousy cop out to use the kids as a reason in my opinion...so forget that loser!
Someone once told me you have to be a friend to have a friend and you have to love to be loved.
It took me a long time to find my soul mate for life...we did not find each other till I was 48 and he was 47...but it was well worth the wait. He is my best friend, lover and everything I always wanted in a man and more.
My child is 16, spoiled and very hard to take at times and he is still here...because he loves me.
So again, don't let a jerk cop out on your kids!!
Pray and keep praying. Be specific to God on what you want in a mate. He answered my guys prayer and as far as I go, He sent me all I ever dreamed of and more.
Don't lose hope, PRAY and hang in there...the person you are supposed to be with will cross your path when you least expect it...again, never give up and pray specific!
be cool...
2007-03-04 07:26:08 · answer #3 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'love me love my kids' I dont know if youve ever watched that on the box but the saying is true.. What that special person needs to realise is that you come as a package.
If they accept that then ur half way there. The thing that most men fail to realise is that your children were there way before they were and to accept their behaviour and the fact that they are someone elses children then its good. Some guys consider women with children '' as baggage'' and wish to have you all to themselves, thats the same trouble i had for 4 years while on my own..
I did find a lovely man whom ive now married and weve had a child of our own but its not easy i can tell you. If you can work at it and accept the situation then its a start. Its finding a man that will
good luck there is such a person out there
2007-03-04 07:22:48 · answer #4 · answered by Scatty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one stop trying so hard, drop the mentality that you need a man to make you happy. Your kids are probably perfectly normal, but ever the cutest most polite kids drive many men away. Do not treat the man like a king. Just be normal with him. Don't nag him and don't expect any rush anything. Take things slow and work on building a loving relationship.. Good luck
2007-03-04 07:19:02 · answer #5 · answered by jigga 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day look at it that you have your lovely children, and your lucky there, very lucky as I'm still trying to find a man and its not easy!!! I'm not lucky anoth to been blessed with children and it worries me that i may never have any. as it could take me years to find a man then i might find out i can't have them or I'm to old. Not saying you don't deserve someone cause you have children no, you have the rights to feel Passion and feel loved just as much. but just remember your very lucky to have children. and be where you are right now. with kids that love you. just think "oh well a man is a bonus."
2007-03-04 08:30:12 · answer #6 · answered by Emmie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm romantically involved with a woman who has a child. I try my best to include the child in our conversations. The child is part of you and there is no denying that. Perhaps you could find a man with children too. He will be more empathetic. Also you might find a big brothers organization in your area. I have a neighbor who met a very nice man who was a big brother to her little boy.
Good luck !!
2007-03-04 07:27:07 · answer #7 · answered by Phillip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh I'm at the same stage as u moved 200 miles to be with him and he up and left in DEC. He has left me in major debt , car being reposed the lot, I'm in a rented house so don't have must security, and unfortunately not may friends . I only have my mum who lives miles away and does not even know yet. But life goes on and although I'm still waiting there must be light at the end of the tunnel and WHO NEED EM !!
2007-03-04 08:54:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, nobody knows how your kids are and how u re with your men, so it is very difficult to give advice. but the most important thing to find who u really are and be in peace with YOURSELF. u have to like to be alone with yourself, no normal person needs someone else to make him/her happy. u have children it means u have company. so why are u so unsettled that u need a man in your life? usually a man is needed for reproduction. as soon as u will be happy with yourself i am sure men would love to be with u and would love to stay with u, u will be the one who choses whom to keep and whom to kick out. good luck
2007-03-04 09:06:19 · answer #9 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm in the same predicament as your ex partner.i married my wife 6 year ago and took on her kids,now after constant threats from there father and abusive behaviour from the kids i'm thinking of walking.your kids may be nice to family,but are they to him.my wife has done everything possible but it still happens.being a stepparent is one of the hardest things to do.good luck
2007-03-04 07:21:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋