Help-as in-on a professional level? She is ruining her life-I think her mental illness is getting worse-am I wrong for wanting to stop being friends? I can't stand to see her go down the tubes anymore. Am I wrong for letting this bother me so much? I feel like it is bringing me down.
2007-03-03 21:56:56 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
If it's bringing you down too much, like it is, don't stay friends or have very limited contact with her. In any situation possible that I can control my surroundings, I am very selective about who I let be near me. I recently transferred areas at work and then stopped working overtime in my favorite area all because there was a different person in both cases that just pushed me over the edge. The first guy questioned my every move and never trusted me on anything, and the guy that I had to work side by side with on overtime was the most pessimistic, depressing person I've ever worked with. I don't feel bad at all about addressing these issues and making a change - I (just like you) need to look out for my own mental health and well-being. If people want to be miserable and not make an attempt at enjoying life then so be it, but you don't need to stay with them in their comfort zone/dark place. It's just not worth it.
Now the people on here have been trying to say that it is not right for you to abandon your friend because they are not happy, but they're wrong - it is okay. If the friend is going to stay in their dark, comfort zone, and not make an effort around you (am I repeating myself?) to have a good time or enjoy things, and these behaviors are going to bother or upset you, it's time to let them go. If they will seek professional help and want your assistance in getting there, then great, stay their friend and be supportive, but it does not sound like that is the case here.
I was best friends with someone for 4 years. We had spent almost every waking minute together since the day we met. One day a friend from his past reappears and guess what? He becomes a juvenile again - he starts stealing things, breaking into places, vandalizing etc. It was so hard for me to drop him when he started acting this way, but I didn't want any part of it. I did not agree with it, and it could only hurt me in the end. I did not drop him instantly though - I tried to talk to him - I tried to snap him out of it - I wasted time being upset and bothered over it. There was nothing I could do though, in the end, so best move was to run (and fast :)).
So, um, yeah, we have every right to choose who we surround ourselves with (some situations we can't control - ie work etc sometimes but anyway). If I am goal-oriented and positive, I certainly don't want to hang out with pot-heads all day, even if they were my best friends in high school. They made their choices - I made mine. Live life for you. Help where you can.
Okay, I hope I made a point. Take care and have a great day!
2007-03-03 22:23:54 · answer #1 · answered by razor_cuts_4_me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you've accomplished properly to end the courting yet i does sound you do favor to talk about it more suitable. I understand issues being confusing to talk about for worry of injuring human beings besides the undeniable fact that it also sounds as in case you recognize that this isn't a rational reaction. in case you do not experience like starting as a lot as close friends then internet forums are a reliable thanks to flow, in case you hit upon the right ones - there are internet sites that are dedicated to those who've been in abusive relationships, jointly with friendships..and searching at advice on those can be a reliable step ahead. It also sounds as once you've lots to assert to this man or woman, understandably. Why no longer write a letter that you WONT deliver...yet that way you are able to vent each little thing you want to, pass as a lot data as accessible, write precisely the way you felt, attempt to bear in mind each and each incident..it will be painful besides the undeniable fact that it sounds as once you've truly some emotion kept up. I particularly were in an same courting even as someone i could no longer get to continually threaten to damage herself on-line....this became about 5 years in the past - about 2 years in the past she got here again (to a particular internet web site) and became very apologetic to me etc for a way she had acted. She became no longer properly on the time - no-one is properly in the journey that they threaten to kill themselves - regardless of the truth that if it truly is only for interest - it truly is a ill type of interest and exhibits subject matters. Self damage and suicide inspite of the truth that, regardless of the truth that worryingly on the upward thrust, isn't the first reaction of many human beings, do no longer be afraid to assert the way you experience - you'll disenchanted human beings in existence and regardless of the truth that in the journey that they do elect to address this disenchanted utilizing unhealthful coping mechanisms it isn't your fault. you're in no way right now to blame for someone elses moves - we've loose will. sorry about the garbage spelling/grammar/eleoquence...i'm very drained yet wanted to help out. wish that you get over those courting subject matters and issues advance quickly
2016-12-05 05:30:50 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure. It's not wrong, but think about how it would make her feel. If she's not hurting you in any way, it would be better to be supportive. I don't mean be there with every little problem, but if you really care about her don't just abandon her. If you're just friends with her out of convinence, sure. It's not so bad. People have false friendships all the time.
2007-03-03 22:06:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
help her whatever u can help as a friend.send her to a pyschiatrist asap if she's mentally disorder.only DR can help her.take care.
2007-03-03 22:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by robert KS LEE. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her point blank you have to get help or I cna no longer be your friend....... My friend did it to me it worked
2007-03-03 22:05:02 · answer #5 · answered by vjswe1 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋