been with him 7 years now no marriage, and DONT want it?

Question

i have been with him 7 yrs and not happy for 5yrs of it but I seem to not leave him I want to I think of it I even act on it but I seem to drift right back to him for god knows what! he has nothing to attract me,hes inmatture,childish,borring,nolife,JOBLESS,and he does not turn me on at all!! WHY DO I KEEP GOIN BACK?

Answer 1

Maybe you don't give yourself enough time to get used to having him out of your life. If you're unhappy then you need to make the active choice not to be unhappy anymore so the next time you leave and get the urge to go back to this guy, call your girlfriends, get glammed up and go out for a night on the town. See what other options are out there for you and do not throw away another second of your life with this fellow who makes you miserable. If the perfect guy doesn't come along straight away then just enjoy being single and gorgeous and be patient. The gy who can make you truly happy is out there but you won't find him tied to a dried up, tired, childish, boring jackass who wouldn't know a good woman if he'd been with her for 7 years.

You have the power to change your life if you're not happy with it, you just have to make the choice and stick to it.

Good luck.

Answer 2

probably because like alot of people u may be scared 2 be alone but there are worse things 2 b. you need to ask yourself whats stopping u. have u had a problem finding men to date do u just not like 2 date do u not have many friends and hes the only person u really hang with do u need him financially. if any of that is the case then i would recommend u make some changes 2 your life make new friends focus on work go buy some new clothes do as many things as u can 2 feel good about yourself then when u are ready tell him 2 go on but the longer u wait the more unfair u r being to yourself as well as 2 him

Answer 3

maybe familiarity? You don't like being with him, but you have for so long it's become familiar to you so it's hard to change, like a bad habit. Or maybe because you feel lonely without someone?

a psycologist might be able to help you out better. here's a good article:
The second question, "Why Do Adults Stay In Abusive Relationships?" is also somewhat complex to understand. Partners in abusive relationships have varying reasons for remaining in them. A first layer of the reasons for staying in an abusive relationship is practical, even if they are not always rational. Some abused people feel they cannot leave their relationships because they are economically dependent on them. For instance, an abused stay-at-home mother may feel that she cannot leave her abusive relationship because if she did, she would have no way of providing for her children...
A second layer of reasons for why people stay in abusive relationships is uncovered by learning about the so-called "cycle of abuse." In a typical instance of domestic abuse (where one partner is abusive towards the other), abuse tends to occur periodically (cyclically), rather than constantly (all the time). There is no clear beginning to the cycle of abuse, but for purposes of describing it, we can start at an arbitrary stage along its progression. Something event occurs, whether real or only imagined by the abuser, that generates feelings of anger or even rage. These feelings then lead to the second stage of the cycle, which is where the actual abusive behavior occurs. Such behavior may be verbal, physical, emotional/mental, or sexual in nature. If the cycle stopped here and stayed constant, most victims would find it very easy to leave and not endure abuse for long periods of time. However, shortly after the abusive event occurs, the abuser frequently expresses remorse or guilt and wants to apologize. The abuser will swear, "It will never happen again" and may shower the victim with gifts and demands that the victim forgive him or her. There may be so-called "makeup sex" which can be quite pleasurable and provide the victim with a sense that he or she is valued, and really loved... Following the guilt and making up stage comes a "honeymoon" or latency period during which things are good for a while between the partners. Inevitably, in truly abusive relationships, the latency period ends with the beginning of another abuse episode; the abuser again feels angry, disrespected or treated poorly in some way and the cycle starts all over again.

Answer 4

Your a sucker for punishement. Start telling yourself that you can do better. There are men out there that will treat you alot nicer than this. Obvisiously your not happy so why waste your best year of the AH. Get out, and start looking after yourself. WHy wait for tomorrow. Start now.

Answer 5

girl you took the question right out of my mouth... i know what you r going throw.. i,m in the same situation. i think that deep down inside you r scared to be alone..and just say well at lease i,m not alone, girl think about it, doing you really want to feel this way for another seven years.he is not your soulmate. and i need to take some of my own advice.. hope this helps you...

Answer 6

You are another with "daddy issues". I sure hope you didn't have sex. Time to go out and seek higher fortunes and break that dead end trip. Better yet, enroll in a school if higher education, you will meet other s with higher aspirations! Good luck to you! Please leave that loser and start on the path because you recognize YOU ARE A WINNER!!!!

>........Jimmi

Answer 7

you go back because you don't want to be alone and you feel safe with him and know what to expect from him. Afterall, he can't hurt you if you really don't care for him. You need to let down your wall and try to love him or let him go.
hey, they say the number seven means completion and is lucky so maybe this is your year to keep him or let him go.
good luck girl!

Answer 8

I think you are lazy, afraid of being alone and afraid of change so you just keep doing the same damn thing day in and day out.


Sorry but it's all your fault and until you are willing to change then you wont, and don't blame him anymore for your short comings.

Answer 9

well, may be you need any more 7 years for know about yourself I wish its could help to him alter you know that will be all most is 14 years for yours and add all that to his real age he will be a bit old and fit to you .:)

Answer 10

There has got to be a reason...maybe you are lonely or there is something. But if you don't want to be with him just be strong and give it up.