Do "spanking techniques" really exist?

Question

When I was a child, everyone I knew was spanked on their bottoms with their pants down... I don't agree with it at all and was recently informed by another mother of a "layered cake" method?! Why do people still spank their children?

Answer 1

What's a "layered cake" method??? I personally never heard of it.

We still spank when necessary, yes like in the old days with pants down. We don't use spanking for everything, but we have a set of "Core Rules" these rules aren't minor stuff like not cleaning up after they make messes, leaving the light on, or general forgetfulness. No our Core Rules are major no-no's such as Lying, Stealing, Getting in trouble at school, Playing with fire, telling us to "shut up"........ Our Core Rule's list is fairly large, however is not violated very often, if ever (for one). Lying has happened before, and my oldest did get out of line at school ONCE, however the other 3 I listed have never been violated by any of my 3 girls. No child likes to get a spanking (at least the way we do it) which makes this consequence a great deterrent for their younger years (before they become teenagers). Once a rule makes on our Core Rules list, that misdeed, almost NEVER happens again. I also use a 3 strikes rule, usually goes like 1) Warning, 2) time out (and another warning, about what happens next), 3) Spanking.

I think your right, spanking has gone out of style a bit. Now days people assume spanking means beating with bruises, or other marks. Not in my home it doesn't, we always spank in control, and have never left anything more then a red tush (which is considered a legal spanking).

When it comes to setting boundaries and enforcing consequences, we use other methods 10X more then we use spanking. It's almost like when our daughters get a spanking they have chosen that method, because the others broke down, or they did something they, with out a doubt KNOW was wrong.

I respect your decision to chose not to use spanking in your parenting methods, I still think your a great parent. I only wish people would raise their children as best they can, and let others do the same. I would never suggest someone use spanking who was dead set against it, parents need to believe in the methods they use, or they become ineffective.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Spanking Techniques

Answer 3

Well, I found the layered cake technique:
The *layer cake* approach is the blending of two older methods still commonly used by parents. One of the older methods was to load a dialogue (or more commonly a lecture) either before a serious spanking or after a less strenuous exercise. The other method was to punctuate the dialogue between parent and child (or lecture to the child) with spanks.

With the *layer cake* approach, the necessary preparation and explanation are followed by sufficient spanking to ensure the child's attention. Then, with the child either repositioned so that he or she is standing at the parent's knee or still in position, the parent reasons with the child. The parent then spanks enough to make sure that he or she has the child's undivided attention before pausing to reason with the child once more. A little more talking is then followed by a little more spanking.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe this is a real technique that parents use! I have extremely well disciplined children. They have never had a spanking because I utilize many, many other form of discipline. They do have strict boundaries and have the upmost respect for my husband, myself, and others. Parent that have taken the time to understand good discipline practices know that spanking is not needed to have well behaved children. I don't think that most parents that spank are abusive, I just think they don't know how much better other forms of discipline would be for their children.

Answer 4

There is something called the layered cake method. Depending on the crime, a parent decides how many layers come off for the spank. Another layering method is spank, talk/lecture, spank, talk, spank, ets. Oh brother!

I have a master's degree in behavior modification and I have worked with thousands of families to change behavior of some very undisciplined children. I have also taught at the university level and been a part of studies on spanking vs. other forms of discipline. Here's what I know: parents that spank are 99% of the time NOT abusing their children. They are applying a punishment to a behavior. They also usually teach their children and try to work on changing behavior (in other words, they don't just spank them and that's it). What those parents don't understand is that to change behavior, they DON'T need to spank. In fact, they would be able to change the behavior more effectively w/o spanking. Here's what they should do:
1. Look for the trigger and intervene before the behavior happens when possible.
2. Reward good behavior
3. Apply a consequence to the misbehavior that relates to the crime (if they ride their bike in the street, no bike)

Answer 5

Never heard of the layered cake method. I'm 46 and I have only known of one parent in all my life that spanked her child with his pants down. And that was a generation ago. I don't know which was more traumatized, me who witnessed it or the little boy who got the spanking. While I don't believe in going that far, I don't see anything wrong with spanking as a last resort to disciplining a child. A lot of people think that using time-out is the way to go. Well, that is perfectly fine if time-out is effective and the child cooperates with the time-out method used. But what if the child is totally out of control and refuses to do the time-out? Pretty soon, the child is smart enough to figure out that HE is the one in control by doing this and not the parent. Then you end up with a child you cannot take anywhere because he will constantly be a behavior problem and all people within 20 feet of you will be annoyed and wondering why you tolerate such behavior.

Sometimes a couple of swats to the bottom (WITH their clothes ON) gets the child's attention really fast and they decide it is better to cooperate with mom/dad rather than suffer the blow to their pride. I've never seen a child who was spanked turn out to be a wife or child abuser because of it. But everyone has their opinion on the matter of discipline. I'd say opinions are split 50/50 on it.

Answer 6

Well, I spank/spanked my children. It is only used rarely but it does work. A spanking given by a loving parent to a misbehaved child is the farthest thing from abuse that there is. It is a time proven, effective method of child rearing.

I have no idea what the 'layered cake' method is. If i could hazard a guess; perhaps it means to start spanking on pants, then on to the underwear then bare bottom?

Answer 7

I was spanked because it worked for me.

My Mom never spanked me when she was angry and it was always down in private.

When I was younger she would take me to her room, I would remove my pants and then she would lay me across her lap and then pull my underwear down and would be spank me till she thought I'd learnt my lesson.

During my teen years when I misbehaved my Mom would whip my clothed backside with a belt or the kitchen jug cord, though if I really misbehaved the whipping would be administered to a bare backside.

The last time I got my backside whipped was when I was seventeen.

Answer 8

Ive never heard of the layered cake method! LoL

I spank my daughter, but I only started when I thought she was able to understand what she was doing and even though she is only 2, I still explain to her afterwards what she did wrong.

My rule is, if she touches something she shouldnt have (after being told twice not to) then I will smack her hand, if she runs off, then I will smack her bottom.

Of course, if she says something she shouldnt I dont smack her in the mouth, but that earns a smack on the bottom.

I dont see smacking as a bad thing as long as the parent has control of their emotions and doesnt lash out - smacking a bare bottom is something I dont agree with and copping a smack with a nappy is more of a fright than pain for the child.

So to answer, your question, I guess spanking techniques do exist, but they may be different for everyone.

Answer 9

Because it STILL works! My method of discipline is warning, time-out, and then spank. My kids know that if I have to tell them 3 times, they will get spanked, so most of the time they don't let it get that far. I only have to spank once in a while when they really aren't minding me, but it isn't often at all. Every parent I've met that didn't believe in spanking, their kids were always treating them really bad. They were horrible listeners. On one occasion, I was chatting with a parent who didn't believe in spanking and her children were so bad, one of them ran right into the street and didn't even bother listening to her mother when she was yelling STOP! I am a firm believer in spanking.

Answer 10

It works with some children. I have nothing against spanking in some situations. I have spanked my children though it was rarely and only as a last resort.