Help me understand why my boyfriend of 4 years is doin this! Would love male and female answers?

Question

i will ask this question as respectful as i can without disobeying the guidelines....
I have been with my boyfriend 4 years this july we have lived together as long and we got engaged last december. I dont like him looking at porn and it really bothers me to come up and see he is taking care of business even if just sitting there. I tell him if you want to look at porn just tell me and anytime he wants anything sexual i give it to him and it makes me feel insecure when he takes care of it himself. I have gained 100 pounds in 4 years from medical problems and stress he says its not a problem.

We havent been getting along great lately and the other night i walked upstairs he changed the computer screen real fast i said what where you doing he says nothing so i sat there 3.5 hours waiting for him to get up so i can look at the history because eventually he had to go to work and he unplugged the computer even internal. I took the harddrives and looked at it there was nothing there

when i asked why he did that if there was nothing there he said its fun to watch you make an *** of yourself and i said you mean its fun to hurt me. We havent been getting alot lately i feel i do everything for him and he takes advantage. I havent been working due to a back injury and he isnt happy about that because he is paying for everything.

He was suppose to come and appologize. I feel asleep for 3 hours and i hear something and i go upstairs and he is watching tv and i put my hand on his lower region, hard as a rock...i asked him why not come downstairs and why not appologize i got no answer worth anything.

Ontop of it all i can always look at him and touch him and know what has been going on. I understand its natural sometimes but why hide it..he always makes sure to hide it when he hears me coming...and most importantly why not come to your girlfiend of 4 years.

Answer 1

one .. you obviously show that you always have something to say anytime he does it ..

being a woman you may know that sometimes you just gotta do it yourself .. it's a different feeling

there is the chance that he honsestly isn't so attracted to your weight gain...

Answer 2

You're 100 pounds overweight and you're telling him he mustn't even LOOK at shapely women? Lady, it's amazing that he hasn't already left.

Or are you saying that porn is OK, but he mustn't have, er, sexual release without your involvement? That's a more complicated subject.

The idea that you'd go rooting through his hard drive is a huge red flag.

The idea that he is "supposed" to apologize is also a sign of a nutty relationship.

The idea that you're being taken advantage of by him is pretty strange too.

I'm sure you're having a tough time, but the way you seem to be behaving you should be in awe at your good luck that this man hasn't already left you many times over.