I had been dating my ex-boyfriend for about two months and felt as though I was emotionally abusing him because I have been going through the worst Med School time ever.
Well, I believed that the best thing was to let him be free and get out of my dark little world and although he LOVED me I felt that I wasn't worth his time. I am too stressed to keep up with the bridges of reltionships right now- so I decided to break up with him but unfortunately he started crying.
I had never seen cry before and I felt SO EVIL at that point but kept figuring that if I had to get back into this relationship it would be to make him happy and gain absolutely nothing but more stress.
I want to make him understand the situation better because I don't think he completely gets it or maybe show him in some way or another that I still care about him and that however... I can't be the PERFECT girlfriend right now.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2007-03-03 17:38:25 · 11 answers · asked by Olivia-Joan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, you shouldn't feel pressure to be the perfect ANYTHING, and he doesn't expect you too either. He simply wants to spend whatever time you can with him because he enjoys being around you. However, if this is more about the fact that you don't want a relationship right now (not because you can't be the perfect girlfriend), then tell him so. Don't ever feel pressured to continue a relationship because you don't want to hurt the other person!!!!!! It wouldn't be fair to lead him on like that, and it wouldn't be fair to sacrifice yourself to something that you know won't last. You did the right thing when you ended it, but you may want to go back and clear things up with him to let him know that you just aren't ready right now! Best of luck, and God bless!
2007-03-03 17:46:30 · answer #1 · answered by Dorkapotamus 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, that's a tough one. Because if you get back together, it could backfire, because he may end up realising you were indeed too much of a stress case and then feel like you led him on... and then you could get the guilt trip from him like, [whine whine] "You're not spending enough time with me... blah blah blah" Then on the other hand, you could be being too hard on yourself and maybe he sees past the fact that you are having a stressful time right now, and realizes the pay off of you being in med school and truly does not judge you for being stressed out.
If you need to, spend less time with him, since it sounds like you are maxed out on mental energy.
And also, just know there is no point in your life where you will ever be the perfect girlfriend, or the perfect wife, or the perfect mother, or the perfect worker or the perfect anything. If he can accept you for who you are right now... during one of the most stressful times of your life... and you really love him and you guys enjoy spending time together then you may have found yourself a real winner here! I'd step back and take another look at the relationship. See how it goes if you give yourself some mental space.
2007-03-04 01:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by Angie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You did what was right. I just hope you were sensitive in doing it. Leave it alone. Go away and let him feel his pain and you feel yours. Don't contact him again for friendship or anything else. You've got to concentrate on your studies and get your mind away from romance.
When you need companionship make sure the guy understands that you just need a little cuddling, and you won't be able to see anyone regularly because of your workload.
2007-03-04 01:45:58 · answer #3 · answered by itry007 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with you 100%. You should feel evil because you are for breaking up with him for a dumb reason!
So let's assume you two get married, are you going to break it off with him everytime you are stressed out? WTF!?
There is no problem doing your work and studies etc Thats business!....do take the time though, in telling him that he matters to you, that you know this time away from him is tough for you and him. You probably didn't do that did you?
Shame on you!
Anyone expecting a perfect GF 100% of the time is foolish....
Life throws curveballs at you...
I define the perfect GF as one who is considerate of my feelings and takes the time to tell me how things stand, what she thinks, how she feels, future plans etc....
If you will continue with your ways, then I'd say you did this man a favor.
2007-03-04 01:50:10 · answer #4 · answered by tito_swave 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who needs the perfect girlfriend?? does that even exist? Even if there's little time you can still spend quality time talking everyday until things calm down again.
2007-03-04 01:43:52 · answer #5 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that you are very stressed and do not have that much free time right now buit that when you do you would love to spend it with him. if he does really love you then he will understand and be there for you whether you are perfect or not.
2007-03-04 01:42:54 · answer #6 · answered by flamstrosity 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Apologized for making him cry, but you also need to move on. if you know that you cannot be his girlfriend anymore, then don't be it. there's nothing more you can do but apologize and let time heal his pain.
2007-03-04 01:43:13 · answer #7 · answered by lelenguyen05 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
show him this question and the answers you get. it hurts to get your heart broken and he needs to know that your not breaking up with him cuz you want to date other people or cuz you dont care for or about him. as long as your TOTALLY honest with him for your reasons. if its meant to be, it will be.
2007-03-04 01:48:23 · answer #8 · answered by mcfly_lives 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him cry. If you were nice about it, then there is nothing you can do. Time will make him feel better.
2007-03-04 01:42:10 · answer #9 · answered by Tammy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
get a card and tell him how u feel
and why and tell him its not him its the school work and this is your dream
2007-03-04 01:43:20 · answer #10 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋