Well I ended it...kinda?

Question

I wrote earlier tonight how I think I'm not in love with the boyfriend I've been with and living with for a year and half, and how many times I wish I could come out and end it but I'm too scared cause he's a great guy and has done nothing wrong at all. Well...I got the courage to tell him that I'm having doubts about our future and I just don't know anymore, and god did it go so horrible. It just made it worse. I was hoping he would maybe feel the same but he doesnt, he has never had doubts about us and I saw how hurt he was. He packed his stuff and left, but only to give me time to think cause he says he doesnt want it to end. And out of all this I still don't know if this is a mistake or not. It's hurting so bad, I still don't know what I should do now. And it's sad cause I have no one to talk to which is why I've been writing questions here :(

Answer 1

YOU may still care. DONT get too hasty.

Answer 2

My girlfriend did the exact same thing to me. I hate to say it but if he's a great guy why do you want to break up? If you have a problem with him let him know talk about your problems openly. If he does something that upsets you then tell him in a talk. Let him know so that he will learn what he's doing if anything and learn not too do it anymore. He sounds like he deserves a chance.

Is there another guy that you have thoughts about? Because if thats the case then I dont know what to do. Its beyond me how either girls or guys can be in a relationship and break up with somebody because of the chance that you think somebody might be better.

Good luck I hope things work out, But I feel his pain.

Answer 3

At least you were honest and up front. It isn't easy or pleasant. I am sure he will understand. He is just in a state of shock I am sure. It is a life altering situation. I felt the same way when my ex wife told me that. I had just wish she had done it before we got married. It was kind of embarassing and insulting. Just have to give it time. Spend some time apart and see what happends. I was once told that the way to find out if someone is right for you is to let them go and if they come back then they are yours.

Answer 4

Space may be what you need. If you 2 live together and spend almost every moment together....well, maybe it is time for a break. Maybe thru this, you will be able to see what you want and need. Maybe you will realize he's the one...maybe he isnt the one. Life is full of pain, sorrow and hurt. If you're not happy (overall), then take a break and re-evaluate. Write down everything you do/dont like/love about him...positive should out number the negatives... then write down everything you want in/out of a relationship and see if he compares to that list. =)

Answer 5

Do you have doubts about a future or a future with him. Or are you referring to a future of being married? If the path you seek is different from his, this is valid, but almost impossible to explain because it has very little if anything to do with how you feel about each other. Your feelings for him cloud your thinking. Ironically, his being with and in love with you has reinforced his desire to stay with you and find comfort in presence of your company. You gave him no reason to doubt you.

If you are not in love with him anymore, he is probably feeling like he has been hit by a freight train. So much for you and great guys, but I understand you more than I let on.

Answer 6

You are doing the right thing by giving yourself time to think about it. You will know, now that he is not around, whether you want him to or not. Smart girl. If it is something meant to be and you didn't get it all along, you will know soon enough by how you feel. If it wasn't, you did the right thing. It might really just be that his feelings for you were stronger than yours - but feelings being strong doesn't mean it is marriage material (just in general, don't know if you ever plan to be married). Just because he is crazy about you doesn't mean you should be crazy about him. You might love him, but not as deeply as you need to. Good job on taking the time away. You will know soon enough if it is the right relationship for you. I know it's hard, but it sounds like you need this time to clear your head. God Bless...

Answer 7

Please don't waste your young years on some one who is just not making you happy you can not go through your whole life miserable just because you don't want to upset some guy. Own your feelings and act accordingly.Your just as important as every one else you do matter you will get stronger as the weeks go by.You have to be strong for both of your sakes don't stay with him out of pity cause that is cruel and pathetic good luck.

Answer 8

i'm sorry but it's better to be honest than to lie by not telling him.

Give urself time like a week if u don't miss him and want him back with in a week i'd say end it 4 good but u should kno if u want him a part of ur life w/ missing him for a week

Answer 9

I'm really sorry to hear it, but I'm glad you told him rather than just end things poorly. I think you should take his advice, do some soul-searching and decide if breaking up is a good idea.

Even if it is, he sounds like a decent enough human that he would be your friend after he got over you. That's a good kind of friend to have.

Answer 10

firstly, you should calm down and relax. after doing so, you should really think through your thoughts about the relationship and whether you feel that you are really into it or other wise. thus, you should make a decision on what you really want and what will make u happy at the end of the day.. good luck:)

Answer 11

If your really in love you would never have these thoughts, even if it hurts don't stay in a relation ship that your not comfortable in. It is unfair to both of you.