Heart Breaking, what should I do? Me and my 18 year old son , got into argument tonight, he left home?

Question

so I called him and told him to come get his stuff..Mad.. He came back loaded most of his things.and left.. I called tried to appoligize. but he said its finished hes tried of my crap.. I am falling apart inside, hes my son, my life..What will i do. Im a grown man, and i just want to cry.. Any honest advise

He really didnt do anything, he pierced his ear . He knows our house rules.. Hes a good kid, just worried about him

Answer 1

I am 39 year old mum and mate I fight with my 18 year old all the time and guess what when lounge surfing gets tiring and the moving about gets boring he will be back.
Sit back have a beer or a coffee and in time he will come back.
My son is tired of me nagging at him too and I am always on his case about stuff and when the first time he walked out and said he wouldnt be back he was in 76hrs.
then again it was only 24hrs and again it was a week.
Hard as it is to let go of those apron strings he is 18 and depending how server things are between the two of you will depend if he will come back.
ask him to the pub for a meal and a game of pool or something.
tred lighlty as all parents are the ogers when there kids are this age..
Just try and stay calm because when the money runs out and friends get fed up with paying he may just think of home..
Good luck
mother of 2 annoying teenage boys now 19 and 22..
oh my 22 year old wants to come home now...
gee they never stay away long.

Answer 2

I have found over the years of raising children that sometimes you have to pick the battles, you see raising children you will have battles.
At eighteen getting his ear pierced isn't a bad thing to me and take in mind this is an opinion, a pierced ear battle can take it all out of you you are crying and upset and he is also going through his own guilt trip, but anyway after you have used up all your energy and strength what are you going to use when it might turn into a battle for his life.
If he in general has been a good kid and not given you much grief, then getting his ear pierced isn't the battle you want to pick. He has legally become a man, and making choices without his parents is just the beginning.
The best advice that I can give you is Love him no matter what just Love him you can help guide him in the right direction now, but you can't make those choices for him any longer.

Answer 3

He's 18, let him go. Things will be different from now on. If he has any kind of spine he will come around and make things right with you, but that doesn't necessarily mean he will live under your roof again. Now is the time to show him what being a good man is by being there for him no matter what. Talk less and act more, it will make a more lasting impression. When he comes to you for advice, never say stuff like, "well you should have never left". Give him the advice you'd give your best friend, because ultimately that what you want your son to be, right? Remember the saying, "You attract more flies with honey than with vinegar". This is a situation where that saying applies! Stick to it!

Answer 4

What you need to realise is he is now a grown man too.. and this isnt all that uncommon in one way or another.. Its time for him to make his own way as an adult.. and things will prob work out eventually between you two (yers is kindda lucky.. a lot of the time it comes to the point where the son physically beats the crap outta the old man.. its so common its almost a rite of passage)

Things I'd suggest is back off a little.. give it time.. another thing I would STRONGLY suggest is you have to quit thinking of him as your baby boy.. hes a man an an adult now.. treat him as such..

By all means apoligise if you were wrong.. but thats not gonna cure anything over night.. and all kids have to leave the nest eventually and make thier own way and own decisions...

Its too soon & too close right now (just an opinion) dont force it or cause more problems.. and it should eventually work out.. it could take years though.. you know how stubborn guys are...

Answer 5

I'm guessing the "crap" he's tired of is you guys not letting him have any independance. He probably felt too smothered and trapped and after your reaction to his measley ear piercing, he snapped. You already called and apologized, so just leave it at that. As long as he's safe wherever he's at, then let him have his time apart. He's an adult now anyways and he's going to leave home someday, it just wasn't on YOUR terms this time. I think you need to give him some time alone and you need to stop being so dramatic with him. Getting a piercing doesn't mean he's turned "gay" or anything and it doesn't mean that he's suddenly going down a "bad" or "sinful" path. As long as he's a good kid, who cares if he decides to get his nose pierced or whatever? You should have only freaked out if he came home and said he had some 14-yr old pregnant girlfriend.

Answer 6

oh my friend I know soooo much how you are feeling right now , this happened between my son and I when he was 16. I am going to give you some advice my friend which I had to learn the hard way too, as parents we have to learn to not sweat the small stuff . I understand that you have rules and that you want them to be followed , but an ear piercing is just a part of being an adolescent today same as tattoos and coloring your hair and all the rest . They are trying to express themselves as individuals and honestly I would much rather that self expression than drugs or drinking...I have a 23 yr old son a 18 yr old son and a 16 yr old daughter so I have learned to be '' cool '' when it comes to certain things and open up my mind and heart to them , and as a parent we often forget how hard it is to be their age. So please open yourself up and try to understand where he is coming from ,OK .The best of luck to you.
take care ,
Val

Answer 7

You have to move with the times fair enough you have house rules but come on he didn't go out and beat anyone up it is his body and he is now a young adult so if you want his respect give him some too to make his own decisions without ridiculous consequences sorry for being harsh but you have to be the one to eat humble pie here try hard to contact him and tell him you believe you over reacted. At least he isn't on drugs or anything we all make mistakes tell him how you feel and how much you love hell tell him to pierce the other one if it makes him happy lol he is your son and you obviously love him bring him home and make up good luck :)

Answer 8

If he did something wrong to cause the argument in the first place you should stand your ground no matter how hard it is. That would be tough love to help him better himself. Once he realizes he was wrong, he will be back. It is not easy on your own at 18 and no one else will support him for long. If you are wrong in what caused the argument then I can not say what you should do that you haven't already done with apologizing. I would be the last one to say parenting is easy, it is not. It is a full time job and you will never be your child's friend if you are a good parent.

Answer 9

It is hard to give specific advice without knowing what the fight was over. My dad did that to me when I was 18. He put all my stuff on the lawn. I got over it. If he can afford to live away you should respect his decision. Either way you should let him know that you will try to understand his point of view more and will not be so stubborn. Also, don't let the original reason for the argument sit and fester. Don't be afraid to finish that argument. A resolution needs to happen. For now, don't worry. He is a big boy, he will be fine.

Answer 10

I am thinking he will come back.. try to get in contact later after things have calmed down.

This happened with my son when he was 16, he took off through a window crying. He got into it with my ex who was his stepfather at the time.. They are very close and love each other deeply to this day.

Anyway, my son and I have such a strong connection that at about four in the morning he came back knocking. I asked him what made him come back and he said he could hear me calling his name.. I was doing exactly that at the time he heard me... crying and quietly calling his name.... he was two miles away.

It will be okay, just give yourselves some time to calm down