I am really really shy and people described me as the quiet, nice, attractive girl who could get any guy she wants. I was with a boy for a fairly long while on and off and he was my first ever long term boyfriend and i lost my viginity to him. I don't think i was really ready but then i put it off for a while and he was decent to wait until i was ready. toward the end i fell out of love and couldn't make love to him but he kinda forced me to on various occasions. I'd be sleeping and he'd pull me toward him and i'd push away or say no but in the end i'd do it - half because i felt bad and half because he'd never let up. We are over now.I have 3 or 4 boys interested in me but all of them i talk to more via phone than see in person. i've met them through people i know and they want to meet up but i'm really scared to be with anyone. i don't like sex anymore but can feel turned on so libido is still there. i am happy single right now but friends say i need to get over being scared.
2007-03-03 16:32:41 · 7 answers · asked by mis_fancypants 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
(cont...). I want to meet Mr perfect to me and i'm not interested in sleeping around like some of my friends and not interested in getting guys hopes up when i just can't seem to really fall for them. is it because of my previous relationship and i need to gain trust in boys again? or trust in myself again? or have i just not found the right guy yet that simply turns me on and makes me feel comfortable in the sex department?
(disregarding how these boys make me feel emotionally etc)
Some of these guys are decent enough but i don't feel anything for any of them and one guy once said he has a high libido and that made me run. I did enjoy sex when i did it out of my own decision but now i feel turned off by being with a man before marriage, turned off by any guy wanting to be with me as i feel they would want to do stuff that i don't feel comfortable doing any more.
Any thoughts or suggestions or advise on my crazy problem?
2007-03-03 16:36:59 · update #1
For now, just be yourself and be single. There's no shame in being single. You just need time to work things out your way. Don't let anyone, especially friends, pressure you into dating. Losing your viginity is one of the biggest things of your life. Thankfully, you did it on your own decision. You're not scared of relationship, you're just waiting for the right time. Right now, I'd say go hang out with some of your closest friends, because hanging out in a group can really give you support. Hang out with your closest friends because they will never pressure you into something you're not ready to do. Having fun with people can ease your mind. Best of luck and hope you find what you're looking for.
2007-03-03 16:43:41 · answer #1 · answered by Roger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Goodness girl no u have a delima, but in a way u don't i mean all u have to do is say no and mean it. Don't give in or be forced into sex. Sex should be a beautiful thing and many people just do it to do it. In that case i don't believe in that either. If u don't feel something for someone don't sleep with them or u will be disapointed Good luck but i'm sure u'll do the right thing u have a good head on ur shoulders just don't let ne other guy take advantage of u like ur ex did. But don't sleep beside a guy u don't plan on sleeping with. You could be giving the wrong impression
2007-03-04 00:44:16 · answer #2 · answered by Happily Taken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People in general who are scared of relationships, whether they are sexually active or not, are just scared of being hurt. When you put your heart out on the line you become vulnerable and some people are uneasy with vulnerability.
With that said, your ex really crossed the line and did some very hurtful things to you... things that some may never get over. You have every right to not jump into another relationship. Take your time and take things slow... years if you have to. In the meantime you should probably talk to someone to remove the emotional scars so that if and when you are finally ready and able to have a relationship, you are capable of handling it.
2007-03-04 00:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by jussagirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to take your time..Reading what all happened you were not allowed to say no when you had every right to...Watch out with boys wanting to go out with you so fast,,your ex probably told them all you will do upon their demand..No woman should have to give it up when they dont feel like it just to satisfy his needs..That isnt love..He stopped respecting you and that is why you fell out of love with him..Sex is not everything and I pray many will come to realize that..I would lay low..Enjoy your single life and just stay clear of guys for a while...Find some girlfriends to hang with...It is your life,,You lead it .....God bless you hun
2007-03-04 00:39:58 · answer #4 · answered by glowworm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're happy being single then do what makes you happy. Sometimes it just isn't the right time to have a man in your life. I commend you for it, I can't stand being alone so have the opposite problem.
2007-03-04 00:37:08 · answer #5 · answered by Shawna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont do anything that you arent ready to do. If your happy being single, stay that way until you are ready. It sounds like you really got hurt and taken advantage of. I understand where you are coming from on the sex thing, stick to your guns until you are ready!!
2007-03-04 00:37:56 · answer #6 · answered by shelly63795 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people think relationships are supposed to be easy. Relationships aren't easy. They're hard. They require skills like any other "job." They require hard work and effort and pain and worst of all, opening yourself up to the other person. Its scary, hard stuff. I don't blame you.
But you gotta keep trying. The alternative is worse.
2007-03-04 00:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋