Awesome Joke!?

Question

A social worker, a mercenary, and a priest are on a plane when it starts going down. They run to the back of the plane and all start to panic.
Social Worker: We have to save the children!
Mercenary: F*** the children!
Priest: Do we have time?

Ok... Sry if you have a problem with this. I've liked it since I was 7 so w/e.

Tell me some of your jokes!

Answer 1

it wasnt funny 3 min ago when you posted it

Answer 2

A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first graders using a bowl of lifesavers. He gave the children lifesavers and asked them what they tasted like. The children began to say:

Red............cherry,
Yellow.........lemon,

Green..........lime,

Orange.........orange

Finally the professor gave them all honey lifesavers. After eating them for a few moments none of the children could identify the taste. "Well," he said "I'll give you all a clue, It's what your mother may sometimes call your father."



One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled: "Oh My God!!!! They're assholes!"

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Two junior co-eds went to the movies one night. After 15 minutes passed one girl leaned over and whispered to her friend, "What should I do? The guy sitting next to me is masturbating."
Her friend replied, "Don''t do anything. Just ignore it."

The first girl said, "I can''t."

Her friend, "Why can''t you ignore it?"

The first one says, "Because he''s using my hand!"
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A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke.

His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"

"Uhh, oh yeah, O.K." responded the kid.

So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?"

"Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000."

"That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you going crazy???"

"Don't worry hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"
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Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
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Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then
they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to
eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and
told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"

The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders
and then exchanged sandwiches.

Answer 3

Ah Lian just got her pay and wanted to buy a television.

She entered a television shop and asked the sales assistant,"do you sell colour televisions?"

"Yes we do," replied the sales assistant.

"Then I shall have a green colour one."

Answer 4

um.. multiposting is a sin... :P

and by the way, the joke is funnier when you mention the 3 parachutes adn have it be doctor-lawyer-preist

Answer 5

you could really use a litlle white box right now

Answer 6

lmao loved that joke

Answer 7

That's just messed up!