say you had a 1 1/2 year old, how would you handle a situation with a friends older daughter (like 3 years older) taking toys away from him, controlling him, bossing him around and subtly blocking him by taking or doing the very thing he was trying to do (ie. as he was climbing she beat him up the stairs and just sits there in the middle).. I do not want to burn a friend and be overly protective However, do not want to teach my son to be passive either??
2007-03-03 15:31:03 · 10 answers · asked by tara t 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
my child has gotten sick of it and pinches and grabs at her..but i am trying to teach him to be nice and use words..so i am in a double bind..here..i can't allow aggressive behavior on his part but then again his actions are the only ones getting noticed!..arrgghhh..what to do?
2007-03-03 15:43:29 · update #1
Well if the girl was 3 or 4 this is common behavior at this age. She is more then likely either spoiled or jealous.of the little boy. At this age she can understand consequences and you have every right to step in on behalf of your son.When my 6 year old nephew takes something from my 2 year old daughter..if she was playing with it he gives it back. Your not teaching your son to be passive in this situation an adult needs to deal with it. Why not suggest she teach him something because she is such a big girl. Tell her he looks up to her as a role model and she should teach him right and wrong not teach him to be bad.Your friend probably will make excuses for her child[we all do] but you have to be your childs advocate..good luck!
2007-03-03 15:40:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, here's my thoughts on the 3 yrs old...I have one. My daughter is very selfish when it comes to sharing her toys at her house,and she doesn't really have an interest in younger kids. I tend to let the kids figure it out, but I (as the mommy of the "bully") would step in and let the 3 yr old know that it is not ok to be mean. If the mother of the older child does not step in, I would say something to her. Let her know that you understand this is a phase, but the controlling needs to be nipped in the bud. And of course...remember this stage when your child is 3! I cannot wait for the "MINE" stage to be over!!!
2007-03-03 23:42:50 · answer #2 · answered by Silver B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would tactfully speak with my friend about the interaction between our children. I would let her know that her daughter's behavior towards my son is bothering me. If that causes problems and you do it politely, then your friend isn't a true friend in the first place.
Just my opinion, take it how you will. :-)
(mother of 2 boys - 5 & almost 3)
2007-03-03 23:36:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i had this same situation. i spoke to the other child and asked him that, since he was such a good boy, if he could please help teach my child (the younger one getting bullied) how to "play" with other kids. i told him that they needed to work on sharing, not taking toys away from each other, and using good manners. the older child immediately agreed and it worked (there were a few slip ups, but it greatly improved). every time afterwards, I reminded him. I'm sure his mom caught on, but she never said anything. No mother wants to think that their child is a bully and I wanted to resolve the matter with as little conflict as possible, but had my plan not worked, I would have told her that we could be friends, have outings, but not with our children. I probably would have said that it was because of the age difference and their lack of interest in playing with each other.
2007-03-03 23:43:42 · answer #4 · answered by Susan D 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to your friend. Communication is the key. However, don't be "accusing" or anything like that because when people start talking like that, the one they're talking to generally starts becoming defensive and probably will not listen to what you have to say.
2007-03-03 23:41:04 · answer #5 · answered by Darcy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend should step up and say something to her child! And since she's not, it's up to you to say something. Your friend may just think that it doesn't bother you...that they're just playing. So, you need to say something.
2007-03-03 23:37:44 · answer #6 · answered by Jen 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
when you see it happening, step in on your sons behalf, since your friend isnt. just politely tell the little girl not to do whatever it is she is doing.
2007-03-03 23:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by krystal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if it was my kid i would talk to the friend and have her talk to her daughter or punish her because you shouldn't let anyone do your son like that because that's wrong don't just sit there and watch it happen you might as well watch your baby become a criminal!
2007-03-04 00:03:41 · answer #8 · answered by Mercedes aka gata cubana 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would have him tell her how he feel and that u don;t like what she is doing and i would talk to her about how he feels he schould not have to live like that when somebodys keep messing with him talk to her or sit down with her and explain why its not right and what it feels like to get messed on all the time.
2007-03-03 23:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by Tori cakes 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think if you leave it alone the two of them will work it out. That one and half year old of yours will get sick of it and fight back. Just be expecting it and when your friend asks why he did it then tell her about her daughters actions. She will get the point better if the kid does it himself.
2007-03-03 23:40:33 · answer #10 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 5⤋