Mormon/Baptist Relationship marriage is in plans what do we do?

Question

I have been dating my now fiancee for 2 years now and both of us are not active in church meetings mainly the fact that I am Mormon and she is Baptist we are hoping to get married next year but when talk of marriage shows up so does talk of religion and as you all know this is a conversation that doesn't end....I need to know what to do for I love her with all my heart but we are both set in our ways...any suggestions?

Answer 1

Why even ask that question? You know the answer to it.
I'm LDS also, and I know a few people with spouses who aren't LDS and don't plan on it OR are not active. Sometimes, the non-LDS spouse will be conformed later on down the road.
I can only think that you had intentions of converting her over to the church, but it hasn't happened yet and that maybe the reason why you dated her for so long.
What are you two going to do about the temple? Are you going to give that up for her?
You know that a house that is divided isn't in harmony (there will always be religion hovering over you). What of your children?
I'd hate to say it, but if she doesn't conform, then it would be better to break if off. It seems like you are concerned about what the right is.
Who am I to say, I mean you even said you're "set in our ways."
Good Luck. God be with you. CTR.

Answer 2

Before my husband and I were married, I knew he was mormon. I grew up Lutheran and have attended all sorts of interesting churches - charismatic Christian, United Church of Christ, etc.

What I have found is that they are all more alike than different, and my advice to you is to focus on the similarities of your religions, rather than your differences. Overall, the differences are minute when you step back and look at the bigger picture:

You both believe in God and Jesus, right? You both believe in baptism, atonement for the remission of sins, taking the bread and water (sacrament/communion), and life after death in some sort of heavenly realm, and acting out your faith by doing good works in this life. That is the most important stuff. Don't get tied up in little arguments about doctrine. Many MANY couples throughout history have believed different things and had very happy, healthy marriages. On the other hand, what WILL break you up are issues like money, respect, and lifestyles that are not compatible.

Just so you know, I did decide to convert to being mormon, even though I don't necessarily believe, nor did I disbelieve some of their doctrines. My question is... does anyone REALLY know what will happen exactly when we die, or what happened in the premortal existance?? No. And is it relevant to you anyway as far as what you will choose to do today? Probably not. My favorite verse is, "Ye shall know them by their fruits." aka - you will know a religion by it's people.

Don't throw away a great relationship by being closed-minded. Agreeing to disagree on some subjects is ok. Maybe ask if she would be willing to visit with the missionaries, on the condition that YOU would be willing to investigate and participate in the Baptist church for a few months-worth of worship services. Let God speak to you. The answer will be obvious if you just don't stress on it so much. Life really isn't all that "spiritual" on a day-to-day basis.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Do you know anything about the Baptist religion? Does she know anything about the Mormon religion? It seems like this would be the place to start. You both need to educate yourselves in the religion of the other. Perhaps after thoroughly understanding each others religion, one may be willing to convert. If this is not an option, a decision must be made about which religion your future children will be trained. Please make this decision before the marriage. Many marriages have ended a lesser issue than this. Once you work through this, I think you will find your relationship is stronger. If you can't work through it, then you have found out before the marriage and before children. You can end the relationship on good terms and still remain friends.

Answer 4

My wife and I have a similar relationship. I am an active Mormon and my wife is agnostice (and thinks Mormons are wacky). It is a tough decision to make because you must understant that this hurdle will always exist in your relationship. I have been married coming on 4 years and there are times when it is just used as an attempt to say I'm ignorant or something and other times when it's serious like when our son was born and I wanted to bless him. Before we got married we had many conversations and came to an understanding. We both love and respect each other. Because we completely respect each other we respect the choices they have made, included religion, which has somewhat shaped us. My wife understood that I attend church on Sunday for three hours and that she was always welcome, but that I was not bothered if she doesn't go. That's just how it is. She does throw it in my face some, like saying, "so is your church more important than me and your son?" This is tough, but I just tell her that this was what we understood would happen. She really just does it to get under my skin, because she really does respect me. If you each had to go your way on Sunday, then it may have to be that way. Just don't expect someone to change, because that won't happen (could, but shouldn't be expected). We have agreed we will both live our lives according to our beliefs, and our son will learn from our behavior and I will talk about what I believe and she can also. We will eventually let our son choose for himself. The children is the most difficult thing. I am fine for allowing him to choose, letting him go beyond 8 years old to get baptized if it works that way. But you must be fully aware it could never happen.

These are just my thoughts. Good luck.

Answer 5

Find someone in the same religion! I grew up in a multi-religious home and it was so confusing. It was hard that my mother's family (Mormon) told me one thing and my father's (Catholic/Agnostic/United Church of Canada) told me another. It was hard to figure out what was the right path for me.

Moreover, the Baptists HATE the Mormons. If you want to get along with her family (and you don't just marry that girl, you get the mom and dad too!) you ought to know that they have strong feelings about the Mormon church, whether or not you're active.

I'd say look elsewhere for a wife.

Answer 6

This is a source of stress and discontent in marriage. It is not the biggest though. Add in children and a desire to teach them at church and you have a MUCH bigger problem. The stakes are higher on that, and you fight much harder.
BEFORE you get married, get this sorted out because it will get worse as you go.
You as a Mormon have the most to lose now and for eternity since Joseph Smith is a false prophet. May I recommend that it is you who moves instead of your wife. The Baptists are not perfect people, but there are no false prophets in that group!

Answer 7

I've had a number of friends who are in a similar situation. Based on what they have done, I would do a non-denominational service, either at a city hall or at an event center--depending on how supportive your respective families are of the union.

Beforehand, make sure that you have figured out if you are going to be religious once you start having kids and if so, what religious denomination you want to be involved in. I have had friends that have alternated congregations every other week or who have ended up deciding to go with a Unitarian or an evangelical congregation as a compromise between their two religious upbringings. You have to both be willing to compromise in order to make things work.

Answer 8

Brother, It must be a hard thing you two are going through. I am Mormon also and understand how this can affect your marriage. My sis is a member also(inactive) and is married to this great guy who is a member of the church of Christ and their relationship has been troubled by this same question even 7 years into their marriage. Don't let this happen to you! My advice is keep loving each other, be understanding of each others beliefs, go to church together(both LDS and Baptist). Pray together to have your questions answered . Slow down on the marriage thing until you both are 100 % GO TO CHURCH!!!!!PRAY!!!!!

Answer 9

I think you both need to talk with a few people. First, both of you need to talk with as many part member families as you can, especially those who's spouse attends a different church. See how things are going for them, blessings, regrets, etc. Take a look at their children (if any), how do the seem? Well adjusted? Which church do they/the kids go to?
Secondly you both need to talk to your Bishop and her Pastor, both of you with each of them, and both of you with both of them.
And third, and most important, you need to have the difficult conversations. It sounds like you're kind of hesitant to talk marriage because you're kind of hesitant to talk religion. I would actually begin with this one.
Knowing what you know about the Plan of Salvation, it's something you need to really consider. Pray, ponder, fast, and pray some more.

Answer 10

Baptists can be worked with, but Mormons do not play well with others. Your best bet is for one of you to convert. Beyond that, I'd say that marriage is not a good idea in your case.