If you sold off everything in order to give a gift to someone you love, and when you presented it to them,?

Question

they said "Thanks, but no thanks" and threw it back in your face, and made all kinds of accusations about your motives, would you be unjust for being offended?

Answer 1

It depends. If you're trying to give them something they've stated they don't want and you're insisting anyway, then you'd be unjust for feeling offended.

Your question reminds me of all those horrid Xian Fundies who insist on "Saving" us atheists even when we ask them not to. the ones who act like preaching at us is and forcing their christ on us is the greatest gift ever, and then trying to lay a guilt trip on us as if WE are the ones being rude.

So it depends entirely on the situation.

Answer 2

I think the better question for you would be "What are my motives?". If you want to admit it to yourself or not, people don't just sell off "everything" to buy a gift for someone and not expect some sort of return on that gift. If your thoughts were to prove you love this someone and they reacted the way they did then obviously they don't love you back. If you're just trying to buy friendship then it came off as lonely and desperate which drew that reaction.

The only reason to be offended is to deflect the hurt of rejection off of yourself and onto someone else. Instead of being offended realize they aren't someone to waste your time with and move on. Remember this the next time you want to impress someone. Gifts are fine, but gifts you can't even come close to being able to afford will always creep out someone more than impress them.

Answer 3

It would depend on the circumstances of why I chose to sell everything to offer one gift to a loved one.

For me to make a major financial decision,like that, I would definatley have confirmation first that the outcome would be for the best.

I know money isn't everything, I believe that, but respect is. Both for myself & other people

So for someone to actually throw a gift of any value back at me would be disrepectful & I would almost certainly tell that person there & then that what they did was uneccessary & hurtful & i do not want them in my life at all.

Walking away with some pride is better than staying & argueing with someone that oviously doesnt know you & accusses you about your motives.

Take the gift, try & sell it and move on. You will be the better person and that 'someone' will realise that when you walk away.

Answer 4

If you were giving a gift than yes. Walk away and give it to someone else. Do not cast your pearls before swine. In other words don't give to those you know will be ungrateful. You have no reason to be offended then. And besides it is a gift, if it came from the heart you should not expect a Thank you even.

Answer 5

You would have been showing rather poor judgment. Why would you sell off everything to give someone a gift? Have you no self-esteem? No sense of self-preservation? This suggests a rather deep-seated need for impressing the person, and they probably saw that you are not stable enough to continue in any sort of relationship with you. Such behavior as you described yourself engaging in is similar to a stalker's behavior.

If you're talking about yourself, get yourself to a therapist and describe this event to them. They will help you get into a group therapy that will help you understand how to interact with other people in a way that shows more self-respect and mutuality.

^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^

Answer 6

You have sold 'everything' and offered a gift of love and you have every right to be offended by their actions. Yes.
How rude and offensive. They don't deserve your genuine and loving gift. They made accusations about your motives, then that's a flaw in itself. They have trust issues.

Answer 7

I'd need some more info... Like who was the present for? And what was it? And how much stuff did you really sell? I'd be more offended if I did it for someone very close to me. If it was someone you only sort of knew or a crush or something, it might be more expected. Also, did the gift offend the person? Like for example, was it something they might see as 'charity'... Like you bought it because you felt sorry for them or something like that? Just depends on the situation.

Answer 8

It would really be strange to sell everything to be able to give a gift to someone,even if you love them. Sometimes people can love a little too much.

Answer 9

honestly it sounds like you have a different perception of your 'relationship' than this other person does. of course you can't help but feel offended but you might help to consult a friend with nothing to gain or lose by being honest with you. it sounds like this person may not love you in the same way you do them

Answer 10

You could be offended if you want. But, it is unwise to buy expensive gifts because people will think you are trying to buy them or control them and people of good integrity would rather you not.