How high are Satan's monthly utility charges?

Question

and is this what keeps the American economy going?

Answer 1

Acidic! You should know that Ah-mur-ee-ka is God's Country (tm). Satan is for you godless communists in europe, with your EU and your labor unions and your "all getting along" and your euro money.

Answer 2

His bill is cheap. He feeds all the souls beans. It is a win win situation. Beans are a cheap and plentiful food supply, and all he has to do is keep the pilot light lit to keep the place roasty toasty. The stench is just icing on the cake!

America, Like a car that has seen 120k+ mile, you don't question what keeps it running, you just hope the bubble gum paper clip fix you made yesterday will last long enough to get you to work and back home at the end of the day!

Answer 3

Pretty low--he doesn't have to pay for gas to heat his lair, and doesn't need electricity to cook his food (just roast over an open flame--they're everywhere!) The only high charges would be his water bill and maybe cell phone charges--that's how people get the radiation! SATAN SENDS IT TO THEM! I'm paranoid.

What do you mean, 'keeps the American economy going'? IT ISN'T!

Answer 4

The earth's core is molten already, so - oh, wait .. that's measurable data and has no place in a religious question.

A better question would have been "Do the fairies and elves charge Satan a fair price for keeping Hell warm with their magic gommajangs?"

Answer 5

In ancient Jewish tradition Satan is simply an angel doing the work that God assigned to Satan to do.

The word Satan means challenger. With the idea of Satan challenging us, or tempting if you will. This description sees Satan as the angel who is the embodiment of man's challenges. This idea of Satan works closely with God as an integral part of Gods plan for us. His job is to make choosing good over evil enough of a challenge so that it becomes clear to us that there can be only one meaningful or logical choice.

Contrast this to Christianity, which sees Satan as God's opponent. In Jewish thought, the idea that there exists anything capable of setting itself up as God's opponent would be considered polytheistic or setting up the devil to be an equally powerful polarity to god or a demigod.

Oddly, proof for The Christian satan/devil mythology is supposedly found in the ancient Jewish texts that were borrowed to create the bible. One can’t help but wonder how Christians came up with such a fantastically different interpretation of Gods assistant Satan in their theology.

Other hints about Satan’s role in human relations can be seen if you look at the name Lucifer. It’s meaning in the original tongue translates as Light bearer or light bringer. Essentially the bringer of enlightenment. The temptations of the Satan idea bring all of us eventually into Gods light. Hardly the Evil entity of Christian mythology.

Love and blessings
don

Answer 6

It isn't as bad as you think. Satan is a pioneer in geothermal energy, and due to Hell's location, it allows him to keep the damned burning for a relatively cheap price.

Answer 7

it depends on how many miles a day you drive, cause the devils primary source of income is gasoline, after that it's tabloid magazines with Oprah on the cover.

we willingly pay 2.60+ a gallon for his evil tonic.

I get free utilities so I can't complain about those.

Answer 8

Satans heating bills would be a lot more, if the Christians stopped condemning us to burn in Hell.
lol
So they are helping to serve Satan!
Ironic, they condemn themselves by condemning us!

Answer 9

1) Lower than they might be, since he doesn't need to spring for air conditioning.

2) Bullshit is what keeps the American everything going.

Answer 10

It takes a lot of natural gas to keep the lake of fire working, but fortunately, Hell is near the source (Oklahoma).