she thinks I'm the one for her. I keep trying to explain to her if it's meant to be it will be, but she won't take that answer. Everytime I say something she doesn't like even if it's the truth she starts talking about killing herself. It is draining me emotionally..I've tried stopping her. This has been going on for several months since I broke up with her. I care about her, but I don't think she's the one for me. What can I do or say to help her?
2007-03-03 13:30:07 · 19 answers · asked by wondering 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm 21.. she's younger. I didnt mean to say I think she's the one for me.. if I did. I've tried telling her there's other ways. She doesn't want to get over me.. she doesn't want help. She has cut before but I got her to stop for 6months and then she did it the other.. and I asked her if it helped with the pain, but she said all it did was make her feel worse. I can't just leave her alone.. she trusts me..I'm really the only one she can talk to. But it's drainin me trying to stop her from killing herself.
2007-03-03 13:40:57 · update #1
She does have family problems. Her mother is an alcoholic and tells her she's a loser all the time. She's a very jealous person..and she has anger issues. She doesn't hang out with her friends anymore. She used to get mad when I went with my friends, but I've finally gotten her to understand somewhat about my friends. She doesn't want me moving on and finding anyone else... she said it would kill her even more thats why she jus wants to die now. She gets off the phone with me and says she's fixin to do it.. so I never know if I'm going to talk to her ever again.
2007-03-03 13:47:52 · update #2
I think when suicide is brought into the equation, you should speak to a professional about your situation with her. Most likely, these threats to kill herself are just to keep you from "leaving" her all together. They are most likely attention seeking. However, if you call the "Suicide prevention hotline" (I do not know the number) they will probably be able to give you tips. If you speak to some authority, whether it be at a police station or at a hotline or at a local hospital, and she knows you are seeking this advice to pass on to her, she may back off due to embarrassment or humiliation. However, she needs to understand the serious consequences of her words and how damaging they are for you. Good luck and I Hope things work out for you, and in the long run, for her as well.
2007-03-03 13:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by ashley_david_ny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her continue to emotionally blackmail you by threatening to commit suicide. You are not responsible for her actions. Tell her you are not ready for a relationship right now. When (if) she threatens suicide again, tell her you think that would be a poor decision but it is up to her and it cannot be your decision nor can it be your responsibility. Beyond that, there really isn't anything you can say or do to help her. If she is really that emotionally unstable, she isn't ready for a relationship either and certainly you would not want to be involved with her. It might be time to put space between the two of you. You may have to avoid her and not contact her or take her calls.
2007-03-03 21:39:48 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a girl also who used to be sucidal. Tell her family and have her helped. Simple as that. But if she is just saying this just to get attetion tell her that it's not funny and she's acting like shes five. To figure out if she's for real or not look at her life. Does it seem happy? Does she hang out with friends alot? Does she cut? Good grades? Is she emotional about simple things such as a missed point on a test? What other reason does she have to kill herself just because you broke up with her. Think about these and decipher whether she's playing or for real. If it's real you think then tell her parents.
2007-03-03 21:39:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest with you if she only says that when you say something she doesn't like then she more then likely won't kill herself. Its just something that she does because she thinks if she can do that you will get back with her. I would just tell her that you care about her but you want to have sometime by yourself to think about things and get things straightened out in your mind. How old are you both anyway??
2007-03-03 21:35:15 · answer #4 · answered by Natasha M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this girl is emotionally blackmailing you, she might not be intending to use this to manipulate you, but it its probably the only way she knows how to get her own way, it is not fair on you and will only get worse, if she cared about ur feelings as much as she wants u to worry about hers, she wouldnt be saying it to u. this is a tool used by many of selfish people, ive had that threat used on me in the past, now i just say Go for it ,they usually arent serious, or theyd not tell anyone so they can really finish the job.
2007-03-03 21:40:38 · answer #5 · answered by faith 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if you are now caring for her out of guilt. you need to cut ties completely if you ever cared at all. sounds harsh but that is the only way the both of you can move forward. and if she is saying that she is going to kill her self. her issues go way beyond you and hers relationship and she needs help from her family. the only thing you are responsible for in that relationship is to be completely honest. which sounds as if you have. be careful this could be dangerous for even you. bottom line cut all ties.
2007-03-03 21:37:06 · answer #6 · answered by irisheyes 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she's trying to manipulate you, but be careful, she could be for real. All you can really do is be loving to her. You shouldn't be obligated to do anything though, if she's thinking about killing herself that's her choice. This sounds like a really crappy situation for you, I'll be praying for you.
2007-03-03 21:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by Revelation S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell someone you're close to about the problem, then stay clear of her. Every time you even say NO to her, you're encouraging her. You have to break the cycle by refusing to see or speak to her anymore.
2007-03-03 21:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by Clarkie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello?!? If you think shes the one for you then why do you keep breaking up with her and plus if she was to commit sucide then she would of by now right?
2007-03-03 21:34:05 · answer #9 · answered by Punk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wants your attention..you have to be careful if you let an adult you trust know about it she may not think its a good idea anymore.
2007-03-03 21:36:24 · answer #10 · answered by Julia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋