What are some ways you keep from stressing too much over your child's birthday party?

Question

I am 36 weeks pregnant and am trying to plan my son's third birthday party. I am a natural perfectionist and I am very picky with my image...like I need my family to see that I can keep everything together. The party is going to be in my home, so I have been slaving away cleaning and scrubbing--practically killing myself-- I feel like I need to be the perfect mommy all the time (I also have a 5 year old daughter) with the perfect home, and I'm trying to throw this "perfect" party, but in all reality, I'm exhausted!! What are some ways to help me get over this perfectionism and relax and enjoy the party??

Answer 1

Congratulations on your pregnancy, but my goodness, cut yourself some slack! I would hope that your family would realise that this close to the birth of your latest child it would be absolutely impossible to host a state banquet. If you do feel the need to host a perfect party, then scale things down to a point where you can cope without exhausting yourself.

Perhaps you could try to include the mothers of your son's friends in some of the activities (like being the moderator for pass-the-parcel). Personally, I love to help out, and a lot of the time you find it will make things more enjoyable for the Mom as well. After all, some times it's difficult to be thrown in with other moms who you barely know, and they have all been close to term themselves and know how you are feeling.

At the end of the day, it's your son's birthday. So if he enjoys himself, then the party is a success, period! Enjoy spoiling him, he'll not be the baby of the family for much longer. In my experience there is no such thing as the "perfect" three year old party anyway, as the kids will always throw in some tricks of there own, so just go with the flow and have a great time.

Answer 2

Oh no !!! You are a silly billy !! Sorry, just teasing, I know how you feel, I have the same tendencies and I also have children. I've found the easiest way to deal with the birthday party thingy is to either go somewhere like MacDonald's where they will prepare, entertain, feed, supply birthday cake, lolly bags etc. and even clean up or seeing as you've already done all the cleaning........ now make the party as simple as possible. When you think about it children don't really eat a lot at parties, they are more interested in having fun !! Just have a platter of sliced fruit, a bowl of plain chips/crisps, 2 jugs of water/fruit juice and perhaps a plate of mini hotdogs??? Get your partner/husband, or a friend to dress up as a clown/joker and entertain the children with silly tricks and games and you're home and hosed !! Just before guests start to arrive set out the coffe mugs and sugar and milk etc. on a tray or side bench and simply elect somebody to help you come coffee/tea time. I mean, lets face it, anybody would lend a hand if you just ask, particularly since you have already been A TOTAL WONDER WOMAN and achieved so much while being 36 WEEKS PREGNANT !!! You are totally amazing and you're children, husband and family are soooooo lucky to have you, which I'm sure they already know....... :0)


PEACE


P.S. I sincerely hope the party is a huge success. Good luck and congratulations in advance on the birth of your second little gift from heaven.


...... :0)

Answer 3

You are not planning the party for your three yr old and his friend.. you are planning it for their mothers!
When i was a kid we never went to parties with our parents, our parents very happily dropped us off with the child's scared looking mother, and gave us a kiss and a cheery "see you in two hours,!" And then proceeded to go home for a good rest!
You have to ask yourself Is a clean house going to make my sons party more fun for him? I don't think so!
Kids just don't need big fancy parties, they just want to eat cake play games and run around like mad things with their friends! You really don't need to put your self through all this at this stage in your pregnancy!
Here is a funny novel idea that a friend used, when she was in your situation, she was pregnant too, the invites had gone out and she was oh so frazzled and time was ticking on and nothing was done! She sent an extra letter to the parents, it was very prettily typed up on nice paper...(photocopied to save time of course!!)
It read something like this..
Dear Mums......We all know how hard it is to be a perfect mother have a perfect house and throw the perfect kids party, Many of us know how hard it is to do all that while pregnant!And how we really want it to be special considering there will be a new addition to the family, vieing for attention!
Well i have been falling over myself, trying to make this a great party,and wearing myself down to the point of exhaustion. So in a bid to lighten my load, i asked my daughter what she really wanted to do at this party., and do you know what she told me?" I just want to have cake get presents, and play games with my friends..."..
She never mentioned the need for a sparkling clean house, fancy finger food for the adults,exceptionally yummy party fair for the kids, The clown, the colour coordinated decorations,or the party bags that are so big that you would think the other kids are having a birthday too! Why am i tearing myself up tying to give her things she doesn't really want??
So dear friends and mums....When you come to my little ones birthday, don't expect a clown or expensive party decorations, or anything over the top...because my daughter says she doesn't need it "who am i to argue!!!???"
Also please pretend you cant see the dishes in the kitchen sink, the socks and newspapers under the lounge, the towels on the bathroom floor or the cobwebs and dust i really should of dealt with a month ago!!
I would be so greatfull, if you could just ignore the above things....you may even get a cuppa and a biscut, to show my appreciation,...if i have time between the cake and the games that is!!
Much love to you and see you on Monday!
Well everyone thought it was a really humorous way to deal with the usual party stress! And the party was a relaxed happy time for parents and kids!Good Luck!!

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel! I'm a perfectionist too and so is my husband! I have a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old and every year we try to have a grand party and we have learned to scale down big time! When she turns 4, we're going to Chuck E. Cheese b/c we're exhausted. We love planning it, but stressing just takes the fun out of it. When I asked myself why I'm a perfectionist, I realized that it wasn't about me, but about pleasing everyone, from my parents to everyone around me. After this realization, I was a much happier person b/c I accepted myself the way I am and that nobody is a "super mom" (not even my own mom & for years I thought she was). Ask yourself: Who are you doing this for? If it's not for you or your kids, it's not worth it. BTW, both my kids were born 3-4 weeks early, so it's definitely not worth it!

Answer 5

First of all the guests are your family and friends your house doesnt have to be perfect. Plan food that can be made ahead of time, put drinks in a big container so people can help themselves, get some other people to help with the games and such, then relax and enjoy the party.

Answer 6

You need to consider if being the "perfect mommy" at the cost of practically killing yourself is a healthy example to set for your children. You cannot care for your children properly if you run yourself so ragged that you have nothing left. Please, consider your children, I am sure they would rather have a happy, healthy, rested and available mommy than perfection. I understand how you feel though, I used to spend 4 months planning my children's birthday parties so everything would be perfect. My youngest was a preemie and is severely autistic and still non-verbal...I kept trying for several years to keep everything perfect. It nearly had a nervous breakdown. You are gambling with your health (mental and physical) and with your children's by the example you are setting...please, take a deep breath and try to let go a little.

Answer 7

My birthday parties as a young child consisted of cake, presents, a few friends and family and party games like pin the tail on the donkey. You got paper plates, napkins and a paper tablecloth from the store, and maybe a streamer or two. Kids parties have become much too elaborate and competitive, and frankly it's insane.

Answer 8

Parties are supposed to be FUN!!! Just keep that in mind! At 36 weeks pregnant, you can only do so much. You should ask your husband and/or family for help, if need be. That's what they are there for. Your health is very, very important right now. Take care of yourself and that new little baby. :)
The party will be a success!
ENJOY YOURSELVES!!!!!!

Answer 9

Order pizza. Give your husband the job of getting the cake. Get all the papergoods out and set it up a couple of days early. Tell the kids to keep their hands off. Stop cleaning. Clean up toys before the party. My sister decorates w/balloons three days early. Just leave out the soda and chips and the guests should help themselves.

Answer 10

O honey don't stress ,do what you can I'm sure your
family won't be looking around to see how clean your home is.

Do not forget that after the party there will be more of a mess to clean up so relax don't over do it !