What should I do?

Question

I don't know what to do about my cousin. He is 14, stayed back a year, and comes to my family's house everyday. He comes to play games that his own parents don't allow him to play or he can't buy for hours from like 2:00 PM to around 10 or 11 at night. He acts really inappropiately around my brothers and sisters, using profanity and talking about peverted things. I told him once to don't show my 8 year old brother any R rated movies but when I came back, they were watching movies with lots of violence, drugs, sex, and other stuff in it and he just says "So what, he'll learn about it when he's older." He will get into arguements with my 8 year old brother, swearing and cursing if he gets angry enough. I tell him to stop and he takes me like a joke, since he thinks I'm his cousin and all. When we tell him to go home and don't come for a while or if my parents yell at him for doing something, he gets all angry, slamming things and just stand there.

When we ask him what he's doing, he says "Whatever I feel like doing, you got a problem with that then fix it." When his parents ask him to come home and take care of his baby sister, he briongs her to our house too. He also swears at his 1 year old sister and hits his little brother, once knocking him off his bed so hard to the wall that he started crying, and his parents can't do anything to control him, since they both go to work for hours. What should I do?

The thing is, I don't know if I should feel sorry for him. His dad and mom got a divorce and left him. His mom later then remarried to a guy who abused him and hurt him badly, which may be why he hits his little brother. He is also really overweight and says he hates his life and wishes to die sometimes, but later changes his mind. His parents are kind poor and he is an outcast in school because people hate his personality or judge him by his looks. He gets friends online or by my other cousins, who I admit are nerds.

About opening the door, he comes when his parents aren't home and mines aren't either. When we tell him to leave he says "Make me" or "This isn't your house so shut up" (we live with someone) My siblings open the door to him, since they hate it when he rings at the door for a long time if he has too.

When we open the door to see who it is, he basically runs in and refuses to leave.

He's also lving with his 2nd step-father so that makes it 3 fathers in a row.

He lives in a different house.

You see, when I tell him to stop doing what he does, he just says "Haha, don't need to be so serious jeez." He never takes me serious, even when I tell him I am.

I think the reason everyone is so afraid of him is that he is really large and is the kind of person who will murder someone if he gets angry.

Answer 1

that is easy.tell hi/her that if he/she can not respet your folks home stay away. let your folks know what is going on too... ok

Answer 2

I'm no therapist.....I do think, however, that he "hangs" at your house cause you have what he's looking for....company, family....then he "acts" out because he is being subconsciously reminded that his life has not been that great. It's a catch 22, meaning you're damned if you do and damned if you don't....He is getting the attention he desperately wants by acting like a jerk. It's negative attention...but perhaps in his heart, any attention is better than none. So, what to do...right? well, I'm not sure...like I said, I'm not a therapist, but for right now...keep standing up for what you think is appropriate in your home. It may be hard and you may not be popular for doing this, but you know you are doing what you think is best. I think you must be a good person if you are looking to get some advice. It shows a positive approach. Pat yourself on the back...

Answer 3

wow...it seems that your cousin is having problems because of his parents divorce and because his step-father abused him. My parents are on the verge of getting a divorce and I was just madd sad. Kids show their emotions in different ways and maybe your cousin is showing his by being rebellious, annoying and obnoxious. I think he should talk to someone like a therapist about his feelings. Your cousin really needs help. I curse and swear i can't lie about that but that's only when i get really mad. I know how it feels to not want to be living anymore...i'm not over weight or anything, it's just that i have so many problems in my life i feel like i have no way out. But Your cousin don't have, all you need is faith and believe that every thing is ganna be A-OKAY.

Answer 4

why is everyone so afraid of a 14 year old. when he comes over dont open the door. call his parents if he is in your hosue and tell them to pick up their child. have your parents talk to his parents have your parents kick him out. if hes a bad example to your brothers and sisters your parents should take that into their hands...another suggestion is put all of your games and systems away when hes there when he sees that they arent at his disposal anymore he will get tired of going to be dissapointed...GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

Well this problem isn't going to get better if no one acts to change the situation...he will just progressively get worse....sounds like he could actually hurt someone eventually because he is very angry and unhappy and taking it out on everyone else. He needs help and this needs to change before it hurts everyone.

It is not your job to solve it...it is your parents....and you need to be really clear with them...on your own...of what is happening and you don't want him taking his anger out on all of you....they need to change this. And he needs to leave.

Answer 6

Who opens the door to let him in? If you don't want him in your house, kick him out or have your parents kick him out or have HIS parents come and get him. I don't understand why you all seem to be afraid of him.

Answer 7

You should call his parents and demand he stay at his own house more instead of harassing your family members.
He is taken full advantage of your household, put a stop to it
immediately or it will not stop.

Answer 8

Tell your parents about everything and they should tell his parents. This kid has some issues and should probably get some counseling. Until then...don't open the door for him.

Answer 9

I feel sorry for him What is his parents problem????If that is also his home they need to cut him some slack!!! normal is having certain things for each family member even if they dont like it!!!

Answer 10

for real, it seems ur afraid of him. ur not powerless, so u have to pull him by his shirt and tell him "this is MY house, you asshole!get out here before i kick your ***" and kick him out your house, push him out, even if u have to beat him up, do it.

i know its an agressive thing, but in ur stupid cousin case, it is necessary. good luck and dont b afraid of him, hes an useless jerk

Answer 11

It is a hunch but how about not open the door when he comes over????

Good luck!