Should I try again with my unfaithful ex?

Question

I was seeing a guy I fell in love with over a study abroad trip; we both knew the relationship was going to end when I went home. I left but didn't want to, called and told him, bought him a ticket out. Three days later he was with another girl. I spent two months horribly depressed.
Now, he (and, for some reason, his mother) have called me and said he wants me back, he loves me, and that he has realized what a horrible mistake he made. He sounds pretty sincere; I told him he had to break up with the girl first. He said he would but jumped off IM when she showed up and when I called him today his roommate said he'd left with her. His mom called again this morning to tell me how much he has cried over me, how much he loves me, and how miserable he is with this girl.
I also know the girl he is with has threatened physical violence to those who were going to leave her. I know as well that nobody likes her very much because she's threatened them and bragged a lot. Now what do I do?

At the same time, I have been going through a long divorce/separation from the man I was married to, love but am not in love with. He has started seeing someone else. I feel terrible about both things, and unsure what to do.

Also: he has not told this new girl about these feelings, nor has he broken up with her as far as I know.

Answer 1

You need to be alone. You should heal from your divorce and spend some time learning to be and enjoying being single. You are very vulnerable right now, and honestly I don't trust this guy.

I don't know about this guy from abroad, but I would say...he made his choice and he needs to deal with it. He needs to be a man for heaven's sake. Do you really want anything to do with someone who lept into another relationship just days afer supposedly being in love with you and who is apparently still right in that same relationship he left you for. You don't know this woman, you don't know her story, all you know is what he IMs you. He doesn't sound like much of a man. He stays in a relationship he supposedly doesn't want to be in and he has his mom call you. What a catch!

Answer 2

Heck no!!

You need to spend some time alone, honey. Know that you are freakin awesome and any man who cheats on you deserves a kick in the balls.

The guy who cheated on you is calling you because he thought he found something better (the girl he cheated with), and she probably dumped his ***, and know he thinks he can fill that void with you because he KNOWS you were in love with him and you're the safe route.

Take the upper hand and turn him down. Focus on wrapping up your divorce and then spend some time with YOURSELF. Don't jump into anything new (or old). With what you're going through, you'll probably be too fearful of the situation repeating itself. And if you go back with Mr. WildThang, your fears will manifest themselves....again.

Answer 3

Honey, in short your worth more than he can offer,

He sounds like a mummy's boy what self respecting guy get's his mum to call?

Don't hate the other girl she hasn't actually done anything wrong if she was single when she started dating him.

Lose him you will only end up getting hurt more than you already are falling for someone should be a happy experience look at how much pain this boy has caused you in such a short time already

Answer 4

I think that this is time for you...not them. Focus on your personal growth with your eduction, career, friends, family. YOU! Spend time on some of your hobbies, whether it is reading, writing, hiking, knitting. Whatever. Just focus on getting healthy emotionally.

The other things are pulling on you emotionally, and you could end-up making an unclear decision or even bring more emotional confusion and drama into your life. It sounds like you don't need that.

If you are supposed to be with the guy you fell in love with, it'll happen later. He's tied up, that isn't your problem. Your focus should be on you, finishing up your divorce, and getting healthy...in all aspects. The time is yours!

Answer 5

Forget about him and the next time his "mommy" calls you up tell her that you don't think so. He is playing you and her. Getting finished with one project (divorce) before you jump into another one (long-distance jerk) is a good way to avoid what you are going through right now. Get it done and then take a break. You'll be surprised at how much you can accomplish alone.

Answer 6

f you want my honest opinion, i think you should concentrate on your self for a while, youve been badly hurt, still getting over your ex etc, build up your own self esteem, youre worth far more than getting into another relationship that leaves you feeling vulnerable and unhappy, give yorself time and you will find someone you can trust totally, and shows you the respect you deserve

Answer 7

His mommy is calling you about him crying... Are you sure this is a guy your talking about?

Look, exes are exes for a reason. People often try to "rekindle an old flame" but it rarely works. Usually the same thing happens again.

Answer 8

i have been ther and done that....its not worth it beczu then he will no that he has another chance and it will work out 4 a while but wen he goz back the same thing will happen again but u will realy start liking him and u will say yes ova and ova...hes just gunna waist ur time...i would tell him to go **** himself and get a life

Answer 9

stop looking backward and get your life back in gear. They have moved on and so should you. If you have regrets about these past relationships learn a lesson and do not make the same mistakes in the future.

Answer 10

No. It ll hurt for a while but youll get over it and one day youll meet someone else and when u do u will forget that maggot in one minute.Good luck angel,the world is now your oyster.Youll be ok without that ratbag ,he doesnt deserve you.