do most men that go to korea cheat on their wifes and go to the bars.?

Question

he cheated on me a year ago. i cant talk to him because he just thinks im jealous and olding on to the past. we have only been married for 3 months and makes divorce comments when we fight.

Answer 1

The military is no different than civilian society in many ways, including this area. Some men cheat, some do not. It depends on how strong your relationship is. If you're having your doubts, I would sit down and talk with him. If he pulls the "divorce" threat again, find a neutral third party (available via the Chaplain or your Family Support Center) and try to work this issue out. Trust me, if you don't work it out, it will eat at you.

Contrary to popular belief, but there's quite a few men in the military that happens to find adultery extremely dishonorable. Adultery is a crime under the Uniform Code of Military Justice, and if you get caught, it can be a career ender. Adultery is also one of the quickest ways to lose a security clearance, since you can easily make the conclusion "Disloyal to his wife, how can we conclude that he would remain loyal to his country?"

So, talk it out, he might have the same worries as well, but the fact that he cheated on you in the past should be sending alarms your way, if you want to fix it, talk it out.

From my own personal experience, I have always remained faithful to my wife. Sure, people might attempt to tempt you, even friends might try to goad someone into cheating, but a strong relationship will always prevail. Ever since I've been married, I've associated with mostly other married men, as we're the ones who go out for a couple of beers and go home and call the wife :).

I'm sorry I couldn't be of anymore help.

Answer 2

Not every man in the military cheat on there wifes. Being a military spouse is hard, because of the deployments and other training exercises. My husband is in the Navy and has been for the past 7 1/2 years, during this time we have been through 6 deployments and training underway's, and various periods of time away from each other. Things always get tense just before a long period of time away from each other, for some men it's because they have heard of other wifes cheating and are scared, or they are scared they might not come back, or if they do things will not be the same between the two of you. Not all men cheat. You have to believe that your husband loves you enough not to hurt you like that again, and you have to let him know that you love him enough not to hurt him by being unfaithful. Talk to him about how you feel. Dont accuse him because if he feels that you are accusing him he might be like... we she already thinks I'm doing it /will do it so might as well. TRUST!! you have to trust him, even as hard as it is knowing that he's cheated in the past. When he's gone keep your spirits high, e-mail him every day and let him know what you've been up to. and if you can get alone on the phone together have phone sex, it helps a lot and helps him keep his interest in YOU! yeah it sounds a little silly and maybe a little uncomfortable but believe me it will make him more in to you.

Don't worry about him threatening divorce, that might be his way of dealing with leaving or lessening the hurt he WILL ( not might ) feel when he leaves for deployment. Things will be fine and when he gets home things will be good again, and you guys will be more in to each other then ever. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Just make sure that you keep his interest so he doesn't have to go out looking for trouble. Good luck.

Answer 3

I think if a man is going to cheat on his wife he doesn't need to go as far as Korea to do it. Men who go to these places, Korea, Brazil, Jamaica, wherever and cheat, do so because they were enticed by what they knew or heard of the local women beforehand. They didn't just fall into it by the intoxicating environment. With that said, its just a matter of taking the chance, one in which these men do based on their perception of whether or not they can get away with it. Their home life may be so routine that any change in it would be too obvious whereas a vacation away from their wives presents an opportunity that she couldn't possibly know about. So bottom line is, he'll do it if its in him to do so. Decent men would want to make a better choice than to sleep with disgusting prostitutes (foreign or domestic) and put his wife at risk for a variety of diseases, this won't change with location.

Answer 4

I was just stationed in Korea and am now deployed to Iraq and unfortunately it does happen. And it does happen everywhere not just Korea. I saw it all the time there. I agree with some of the other answers. Talking about it is the best but if he truly loves you then he will be faithful. I did not cheat on my wife at all while I was there I love her to much. She did listen to all the myths, rumors, and sories from all the other uneducated wifes out there and at some points it drove me crazy. I never did want to cheat but I did want to go out every know and then to blow off steam. Its just as rough for us to be away from family as it is for you to have us gone. Sometimes more so. In my case I also have 2 boys and when they have birthdays or do something special at school or learn how to ride a bike at least you are there to see it. We just get to hear about it second hand. The bottom line is if he truly loves you he will remain faithful but you also need to trust him. He needs a way to be able to have some fun as well even if its going to a bar once and awhile to blow off steam.

Answer 5

If a man is going to cheat on his wife he will do it anywhere, going to Korea doesn't make it more likely that he will.
Going to bars may be a different matter, if he doesn't go to bars while in the states, near his wife & family, he may do so when sent overseas because of being lonely & wanting to have something to do with the other guys.

Answer 6

Just because men cheat on their wives in the military doesnt mean that ALL men cheat on their wives. A lot of WOMEN cheat on their husbands when they deploy as well. If you are worried about your husband/boyfriend cheating on you while he is deployed, talk to him. He probably has the same fears about you. He probably will however go to the bar because when the men are downrange there really isnt that much to do. Him going to the bar might sound really crappy to you, but to him it is a welcome relief from PT and guard duty. To be a happy military couple, you must both TRUST eachother, or you will have A LOT of marital problems. I have watched marriages dissolve over what one party thought the other was doing.

Answer 7

Has your husband done anything to break your trust before ? If not then you should trust him. I know its scary not knowing whats going on, on deployment but you have to trust that he will not do anything and use his better judgement. I've been to Korea ( Pusan in fact) and there are some "Buy me drink bars" but there are some other great things to do there too, but thats if he even has time to go out and see Korea for what it has to offer. Most of the time your stuck either at a gate or busy with to much miltary work to even think about going out. I know of some people who are headed there soon and I know they are going to be super busy.
Just sit him down and talk to him before he leaves. Let him know of your fears and hopefully he'll reasure you that there wont be anything going on of that nature. I wish you the best of luck hun. I know being a military wife is rough especially during these times.

Answer 8

I was there for a year without my family, if he were a religious man, he could find a nice church and stay away from the bars, otherwise he is stuck like the religious guy I knew, he would do kareokee and then have a drink and stay isolated in his room to avoid temtation. I drank and did kareokee and tho I was not there to cheat, I almost got raped. Its a bad place for men to go. The Red light zones (ho's for hire) are easy to find. The night clubs are five minutes away from base, there are clubs on base and you have buddies that live by the motto "what happens TDY, stays TDY." Then there are the Korean women looking for a ticket to the US. If your man isn't religious, you lucky if he doesn't cheat.

Answer 9

If that's what's on your head then you definately ought to seek for counseling from the backside's relatives midsection. actually that a guy who's at risk of cheat, will. a guy who isn't at risk of cheat, won't. the two he has character or he would not. actual the worst subject you're able to do is start to computer virus him approximately this, and have faith me, if that's what's on your head you will ultimately start to computer virus him approximately it. Being on a distant, unaccompanied excursion, without your loved ones is undesirable sufficient. It turns into terrible once you have an insecure substantial different back abode speaking herself into believing each and all of the worst issues are happening. Write him, call him, digital mail him... tell him you like him. deliver him pictures. help him. deliver him CARE applications. have faith in him. Fly over there for a pair weeks on the mid component of his excursion (that's fairly no longer that costly). If he's a guy of character he would be committed and he would be back to you until now too long.

Answer 10

You can go to Korea or just down the U.S highway.

Do they go to the bars- yes, despite what you might hear its boring on deployment.

My wife knows I dont frequent the overseas bars all the time, if at all. She bought me a few good games for my laptop. A man can still sit in their place of residence, drink with friends and play their games and have a good time. It just depends on the individual.